


Vulnerability

by PurpleElevators



Category: iCarly
Genre: Hurt-Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2014-08-21 07:43:21
Rating: T
Chapters: 25
Words: 57,593
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10397662/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5191027/PurpleElevators
Summary: Freddie finally landed his dream job at Pear, working in San Francisco, living the good life. However, Sam with her own restaurant in New York deals with her abusive husband's alcoholism. When she realises she can't take it anymore, she leaves and runs into a familiar face who fixes her broken pieces but with Sam's husband hell bent on finding her, she knows she still isn't safe...





	1. One Hundred Sleepless Nights

**So I've had this in my head for a while now. It won't be as long as my other, The Saga of Seddie though. Hope you enjoy and read and review.**

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

They said I had the good life. And in a way, I did. Great job, great city, great amount of income. They said I had it all. In a way, it was exactly what I wanted. Soon after I graduated from Caltech, studying computer tech, I got a job at Pear Headquarters and was now the deputy boss. So one down from the main man. It took time, dedication and effort. A bunch of effort but I finally landed my perfect job. I loved work. I went in everyday, loving the experience of my dream job.

I lived in a fairly large apartment in Sam Francisco, on my own. That was okay though. I liked the peace but living in San Fran, you didn't get much. That's okay though. It lets you know the city's breathing. Growing up in Seattle, I knew of loud streets and noises but now in a great city, it makes the atmosphere better.

Speaking of Seattle, I left straight after graduation. I wasn't planning on coming to San Francisco. I guess I was a sort of go with the flow guy at that point with it all set out but with no idea where to go. I didn't regret coming here though. I had everything I ever wanted. Almost.

My love life on the other hand, not so great. Sure, I'd had a few girlfriends in the few years I'd been here but nothing serious. I'd always say I don't have time for a relationship which is in a way true but it was because I hadn't met the right girl. But then again, that was false because I had met her. Oh I met her alright. But I was dumb enough to let her go. She's married now anyway. Married and settled in a big city too. THE big city to clarify.

Sam Puckett and I started dating in high school but on graduation night, we broke it off after we took each other's innocence. I was going to Caltech and she was going to a culinary school in New York. We thought about a long distance relationship but in the end we knew it wouldn't work and we got into a fight and I hadn't seen her since. Well since her wedding three years later.

Sam met Kyle in New York and according to her, he was there when she needed someone. They then fell in love and she got married at the young age of 21 with her husband at 23. When I heard about this, it left me heartbroken. Sam was marrying someone else. The girl I love is in love with someone else.

I didn't know much about this Kyle guy other than what I'd heard and seen at the wedding. But I definitely didn't picture Sam as a wife to someone like him. He's very cocky and very out there. Couldn't keep his hands off Sam throughout the entire ceremony. Not the lovey dovey way, but it was pretty inappropriate if you asked me.

Sam and I didn't speak at the wedding. I congratulated her and that was it. Nothing more, nothing less but all I wanted was for her to get cold feet and come back to me. I had my shot, and I let her go.

But that's all over. I may have loved her but there isn't much I can do. She's married and has been for five years. And if she was happy, then that was all that mattered.

I'd sometimes go back to Seattle to see my mum and everyone there but not as often as I used to. I have no time now. Carly met a guy in Italy and married him not too long ago and Spencer got together with Audrey from a while ago and Gibby found a guy. Turns out he's gay. I don't have a problem with that though. It's his choice and I respect him. Plus, he's happy. It's not my business.

I put my toothbrush back in the holder and washed my face, drying it after with a towel. I grabbed my hair gel and styled it how I always do. With one last look in the mirror, I walked back into my bedroom.

I'd say I had myself a good amount of friends here in San Francisco. Most of them were from work but some were from college. I'd say I had a good life. I put on my suit, adjusting my tie and grabbing my blazer as I put some bread in the toaster.

My phone dinged, signalling a text which once I read, I put down, groaning. It was Alexa. She'd apparently had a crush on me for about a year and a few months ago I agreed to go out with her. We got together and she was with me for about two months until I realised I barely liked her whilst she was in love with me. She wanted marriage, kids, to move in, the whole package way too early. We were into separate things, so I broke it off and ever since then, she's been hell bent on getting me back.

I finished my breakfast, putting on my blazer and shoes and leaving my apartment. I rushed down the stairs of the complex and got into my car, starting it. Luckily Pear HQ wasn't too far from here which was why I got an apartment near.

Once I arrived, I went straight to my office where Clare was sat on my desk. Clare was my personal assistant and rather close friend.

"Freddie," she greeted.

"It's Mr Benson to you," I teased, sitting down in my chair.

"Ever so sorry," she replied with her voice dripping with sarcasm. One of the things I liked about Clare was that her personality resembled a feisty blonde I used to know. "Speaking of which, Mr Callahan wants you to test out the new PearBook Pro's. Apparently there has been some complaints about the hard drives."

"I'll take a look now," I responded.

"Mr Benson."

I heard the familiar voice of Trina Chang as she clicked her heels down the hall and knocked on my office door.

"Yes Trina?"

"Ms Myers wants me to pass on a message about a conference," she started.

"Okay."

"She says in two weeks, you, her, Mr Callahan, Stephen, Jemima and Jonathan will be flying out to New York to meet up with the head of Pear there and then there will be a conference over there. She says for more information, to go see her later tomorrow."

"Alright. I'll put it in my calendar. Thank you, Trina."

"My pleasure, Mr Benson," she replied, rushing off.

New York huh? That's where Sam lived. Would be funny if I ran into her. But what were the chances though? New York's a big city but hey, anything could happen. I was glad I got the opportunities to go to places though.

Damn, I loved my job.

**~New York~**

**Sam's POV**

My heart stopped for a second when I heard the front door open then close. That meant Kyle was back. Kyle was my husband and I loved him to death and I knew he loved me but he just had a weird way of showing it. For about a year, he'd been having some trouble with the drink. It started when his work was stressing him out. He's a lawyer and he was trying to crack down on this case but it was really eating at him and he ended up drinking.

I thought it was just a phase, doing everything I could to soothe him in every way possible. I gave him massages, I'd try a take his mind off things, I did all I could but still the drink was a better mechanism. But it wasn't the recreational drinking which hurt me, it was what came after it.

I married Kyle because I loved him and I fell in love with him because he was so like me. We just GOT each other. And our personalities could be seen as similar. Even our violent tendencies.

I'd grown out of beating up people but whenever Kyle was drunk, he'd get violent. He wouldn't full on beat me up, but whenever I'd try and help him, he'd slap me, shove me or push me. Some were worse than others but I couldn't leave him. He needed me. And he'd always apologise afterwards. He'd tell me how much he loves me, all that. And each time I'd fall for it again. I couldn't pull away from him. I loved him. He was my husband.

Of course I made him go to AA which he reluctantly agreed to after I'd given him various ultimatums. He kept his alcoholism under control at work, not wanting to be fired, but would slip the occasional drink on the job. But he'd always go out after and come back drunk. And violent.

Some would call it spousal abuse but I couldn't tell anyone. I hadn't. I covered it up and it was okay. I just got over it. He's my husband and he loves me. He was only doing that because he was drunk. So I convinced myself. What else could I do? I had friends but not close ones. I was practically all alone without Kyle.

"Sam?" Kyle called as he entered our home.

We lived in an apartment in New York and it was a very modern, fancy apartment. We had good income since Kyle was a top notch lawyer despite his battle with the drink and I had a very successful restaurant.

I got off our bed and checked myself in the mirror before I went into the living room where my husband was taking off his blazer.

Despite how violent he was, I loved him. I loved him for him and I was undoubtedly attracted to the man. He was tall and muscular with dark hair and dark eyes. He had multiple tattoos but that was one of the things were drew me in.

"Hey," I greeted, relaxing. He wasn't drunk. He didn't have that look in his eyes. He was sober and looked decent. He'd have those moments occasionally. Where he wasn't drunk and he'd treat me like a princess.

Kyle advanced towards me, his arm lacing around my waist and he captured my mouth with a passionate kiss. I sighed against him. I couldn't taste that familiar alcohol stench on him.

It had been okay for the last couple weeks. He'd been sober almost a month and I was proud of him. Sometimes he'd want to drink but I'd stop him and we had no traces of alcohol in the house except stupid things like perfume.

"How was work?" I asked him, his arms still around me.

"Busy. What about you?"

"It was okay," I replied and Kyle nodded, kissing me again.

"You wanna go out tonight?" Kyle asked, playing with the loose ends of my dark hair. Once I left Seattle all those years ago I wanted to start fresh, so I dyed my hair brown, but had blonde highlights in it.

"Where?"

"Wherever you want," he responded. "We could go to that fancy restaurant downtown."

"Are you sure we shouldn't just stay inside for tonight," I offered. Kyle may be a month sober, but I knew which restaurant he was talking about and that did have various bottles of booze on display. I didn't want him to be tempted and if he ordered a drink, I couldn't exactly steal it off him in a public place.

"Baby, I'll be okay. Go get dressed, I'll meet you out here."

"Are you sure?" I asked again.

"Yes!" Kyle said, this time louder and he winced. "Yes," he repeated, but this time softer. "Go get changed."

I nodded, not wanting to get in an argument with him and Kyle smiled, kissing me again. I untangled myself from his arms and went back into the bedroom, opening the closet.

I decided to put on a red dress with red shoes and some tights. I grabbed my leather jacket and walked back into the living room. When Kyle saw me, he stood up from the couch and approached me.

"Ready?" he asked and I nodded. He took my hand and we left the apartment.

It was a fairly chilly day in New York and as my husband and I stepped to into the busy streets, I snuggled into his chest. He smiled down at me and I replied with a grin of my own. Maybe this time he'd keep his promise about not drinking again.

But I thought that about the last time. And the time before.

Kyle and I arrived at the restaurant and were quickly seated. I looked nervously at the display of alcohol at the bar but refused to let it bother me. I was brought out of my worry as Kyle took a hold of my hand from across the table and gave me an assuring smile.

"Thank you," he said and I gave him a look.

"For what?" I asked him.

"For being here. You never gave up and you stuck around. I love you, Sam."

"I only did it because I love you too," I responded and Kyle grinned, letting go of my hand and picking up a menu.

"I think we should celebrate," he told me and I smiled. "How about a bottle of red?" My smile faded.

"No alcohol," I said firmly and Kyle frowned.

"Baby, it's one bottle between us. It'll be fine," he said but I shook my head.

"No. No alcohol. You've been sober almost a month. I don't want you drinking," I told him.

"I won't get drunk."

"It doesn't matter!" I exclaimed, but doing my best to keep my voice as low as possible. "You know after one drink, you won't be able to stop."

"Yes I will."

"No you won't," I hissed. "You would always say that and I'd fall for it but not this time. I'm serious. I don't want you ruining your life over booze."

"Sam, it's a bottle! To share!"

"No," I shook my head. "We can either carry on the evening without alcohol here or go home."

"I can't believe you," Kyle said shaking his head. "I take you out to a romantic dinner and you think I'm going to ruin it by getting drunk."

"You were going to order wine!" I reminded him.

"In moderation. To share. But you don't trust me."

"I trust you, Kyle. It's the addiction I don't trust." I paused. "You know what, this was a bad idea. We're going home." I was about to stand up when Kyle hand shot across the table and gripped my wrist. "Let go," I growled.

"You're not leaving. I want us to have a nice dinner as husband and wife."

"No alcohol," I said to him.

"One bottle," he argued and I shook my head, standing up.

"I told you and I tell you over and over. It's me or the booze and every time you say you'd choose me but your first choice always seems to be the drink."

"Of course you're my first choice. All I want is one bottle for us to share. Most married couples do have wine when they're out on fancy dinners."

"Most married couples aren't dealing with the other half's alcoholism," I hissed. "I'm going home. Are you coming?"

Kyle grunted and reluctantly got out of his chair and we left the restaurant, heading back home in silence.

We arrived and I went back into our bedroom, pulling off my red dress when Kyle walked in.

"We need to talk about this, Sam," he told me.

"Talk about what?" I asked him, grabbing my pyjamas off the hook and sliding off my tights, underwear and bra. I threw on my pyjamas and sat on the bed, looking at my husband and sighing. "Come here," I said softly and he got on the bed next to me.

I shuffled closer to him and I faced him, my fingers playing with his black hair.

"You're a month sober. And that drink you wanted will have set you back to day one. So what if you didn't intend to get drunk? You wanted a drink and whenever you have one, you can't stop. Kyle, I care about you and I love you so much. I can't let you wreck yourself just by a little addiction. It's killing you slowly and you don't see it but I do. So please, if you love me, you have to meet me half way. You need to understand that it's dangerous. I know an addiction's hard but you can't WANT to go back to that. It hurts me, Kyle," I started.

Kyle didn't say anything, he just stared at me intently.

"I want us to be normal again," I continued. "And we can get there, if you try. Please keep away from the booze. Because if you drink again, you'll keep drinking and I could lose you."

Kyle nodded, kissing me softly. "I'll try. I'll do it for you."

"Thank you," I smiled, kissing him again and we fell back on the bed. Our legs tangled together and I pressed myself closer to him. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied and he broke away from my lips to attach them to my neck. "I love you too."

Kyle and I fell asleep soon after our activities in each other's arms. My head was on his chest and he held me close to him. But when I woke up the next day, I was alone in bed. My eyes squinted at the sunlight as I sat up.

Kyle wasn't in our bedroom and the bathroom light wasn't on so I predicted he'd be out in the living room or something. I picked up his shirt from the floor, putting it on me and I stepped onto the cold, hard wood floor. I opened our bedroom door and saw my husband sitting at the breakfast bar, a bottle of whiskey in his hands. He was sitting there in only his boxers and my hands flew to my face.

"Kyle," I breathed as I approached him. I tried to take the whiskey from him but he had a firm grip on it. "Give it to me," I strained. I may have been able to beat up the football team back in high school but Kyle had big muscles and was stronger than me. Even drunk.

"No," he retorted. He didn't sound completely plastered but that didn't matter. He drank. And he had downed a bottle of whiskey and was on his second meaning he must be some sort of drunk.

"Kyle, please. Remember what we talked about last night," I said. "You said you'd try."

"It's hard."

"Baby, I know but if you need to drink, talk to me."

"I want to drink," he slurred.

"No you don't," I replied, struggling with taking the alcohol off him. It was funny how he could go from being the amazing man I fell in love with to a drunk skeeze in a matter of hours.

"Yes I do!" he yelled and I yanked the whiskey bottle off him but lost my balance and fell over, smashing the bottle in the process and Kyle cried out. "LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" he roared.

This was what drinking turned him into. Angry and violent.

"Baby," I started.

"No! When I tell you I want a drink, you let me and you didn't and now look at what you've done!" he yelled and I scrambled to my feet.

"Please, stop!" I cried as Kyle dropped to the floor, grabbing the broken pieces of glass and licking the remaining drips of whiskey on them. But I shouldn't have said that. He looked up at me and growled.

Clutching the glass in his hand, he stood up and pushed me into the wall, cutting my forehead with the glass. "WHEN I SAY I WANT A DRINK, YOU LET ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" he bellowed, his face inches from mine and I burst into tears at the sight of my husband doing this. It wasn't the first time though. I was used to it but that didn't mean I wanted it.

"Kyle," I choked out.

"Shut up!" he yelled out before he let go of me and made a face. Usually after he'd go through his rampage, he'd throw up and calm down, immediately apologising. But that was only if he was a little drunk. If he was absolutely hammered, he'd only apologise when he was fully sober.

Kyle dropped the glass and ran into the bathroom and I could hear him vomiting. I sighed and carefully stepped over the glass to go into the bathroom, kneeling next to him and rubbing his back as he puked into the toilet. If I ever told someone of this, they'd ask me why I stayed so long. Why I'd do this after what he's just done to me. Why hadn't I left? Why did I keep crawling back to him when all he ever did was break his promises and hurt me? But I couldn't leave. I tried but I always came back. I physically couldn't.

After Kyle had finished being sick, he leaned back and I caught him in my arms, stroking his hair. He laid his head on my chest and gripped onto the shirt I was wearing. I leaned over to flush the toilet and I went back to playing with my husband's hair, kissing his forehead.

"I'm sorry," he apologised, his voice sounding thick. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"It's okay," I whispered, kissing his forehead again.

"I love you," he told me.

"I love you too," I replied. "I love you too," I whispered.

And that was the cycle. He'd treat me great, we'd have a spat, we'd talk, he'd treat me like a princess, he'd drink, we'd fight, he'd aplogise. And that was our lives for the past year. It was draining and it was hard but I couldn't leave him. I loved him and I knew deep down if I stayed, I could end up seriously hurt but that's the thing: I can't leave. I know I have to. But it's hard.

I ignored the pain from my forehead and the tingling of my blood. It hurt like a bitch but compared to recent events, this was nothing. And that was pretty suckish.

One day I'll have to leave and I always say if it happens again, I'm gone. But when it does happen again, I can't leave.

I just don't know how much more I can take.

**Hope you liked it and drop in a review please. I'll update this as often as possible as well as The Saga but I have writer's block with that at the moment. Thank you for reading and let me know what you think :)**


	2. A Match Into Water

**Thank you so much for the reviews so far! This is a very Sam-central chapter for obvious reasons once it's read. **

**~New York~****  
**  
**Sam's POV**

I laid on my side, watching my husband in his slumber after what had happened a few hours ago. This was crazy. If someone told me this was what they were going through then I'd ask them why the hell they haven't left the bastard yet. But no one can understand unless they're you. Not even Kyle understood. He'd ask me why I haven't left and when I threaten to, he tells me no. It was like I was married to two people. The man I fell in love with, and the man I'm terrified of.

And I never talked to anyone either. I kept it all bottled up and inside my head. But I couldn't tell someone. They'd only call the police. I didn't want that. All I wanted was for my husband to go back to the man he used to be. Before all the alcohol. It was tiring but I couldn't give up. I had no one else in the world. I left Seattle behind and I only ever saw the people of it for my wedding and that was it.

Carly lived in Italy with her husband and Spencer was married to a woman called Audrey. Then there was Freddie. Freddie Benson. I saw him at my wedding and our conversation lasted of two words. 'Congratulations' and 'thanks'. Nothing more, nothing less. We ended on a bad note when I left Seattle too. After having sex for the first time in our relationship, we knew we'd have to say goodbye. He was leaving for Caltech and me for New York. We thought a long distance relationship could work but we talked and realised it couldn't which led to our fight and broke us up. I remember being in his bed, still sweaty and dazed from making love when we started to argue. I grabbed my clothes and threw them on, leaving Freddie and that was the last time I saw him until the wedding.

I loved him for so long. And meeting Kyle distracted my feelings from him. He was there when I needed a friend. He picked me up when I was down and he made me feel loved and special. Something I longed for. I loved him. I fell in love with every part of him but that was the old Kyle. He changed. He turned to the drink and now he's someone I don't want to know. But sometimes he would go back to that boy I fell in love with at eighteen. Next to the other boy I fell in love with at fourteen. But that was long gone.

I wanted so bad to go back to when Kyle and me were in that honeymoon phase. The early stages of our relationship or maybe even the early stages of our marriage. He was everything I ever wanted in an husband. Maybe he lacked something else I wanted but other than that he was amazing. He'd come home and kiss me, tell me I'm beautiful and he'd make me laugh, smile, blush and he was my everything. He still is, but he has a funny way of showing it if I mean as much to him.

I never thought we'd turn out like this. We had our whole life ahead of us. We'd have children and he'd be an amazing father to them, we'd grow old together and end up shrivelled up, sitting on the porch with our grandchildren by our sides.

But that dream was crushed long ago. Alcohol crushed them.

I sat up on the bed, throwing my legs over it and I grabbed my jacket, opening the bedroom door and going over to the balcony, sitting on it, my legs dangling from up above as New York breathed underneath.

I squeezed my eyes shut as tears fell from them, dropping into my lap and I was unable to stop them. I didn't put up much of a fight though. I let them fall. I wanted Kyle to come out and see me like this. Maybe he'll know he really hurts me. But he says he cares and that's the thing, does he?

I wanted the old him back more than anything. Where he'd sneak up behind me and cover my eyes with his hands as he'd hand me a bouquet of flowers. He'd wrap his arms around me and pick me up and spin me around. We make out for hours in his car and we'd spend the night there, my head on his chest as he played with my hair. I wanted to go back there but I couldn't. Because now I didn't know who the heck I was married to. He scared the hell out of me sometimes and I didn't like that. He was so perfect before. We were so perfect.

I sighed. I never wanted perfection.

I wanted imperfection.

Oh I had it alright, but I lost it so I settled for the perfect one. He'd smother me with gifts and complements and we never fought. Up until the drink. But the perfection was so right yet so wrong. I missed screaming and yelling at one in the morning over who's mother was the biggest freak, I missed the pointless arguments about amounts of cheese. I missed our screaming matches and then kissing in the rain and making up. I missed my imperfect relationship but I let that go.

I'd still think of him when things got tough with Kyle. I wouldn't say I was still in love with him, but I'd say I had unresolved feelings and I never got a closure with him. I'd think about him when I needed someone to hold me. My husband was too busy getting drunk. I wondered sometimes if I hadn't married Kyle and stuck around in Seattle and married my imperfect lover. I knew he'd treat me right. He couldn't not. We'd argue and fight and he drove me insane in the best way possible but he wouldn't do what Kyle was doing to me. He couldn't.

I still miss him. And I hope he misses me too.

"What're you doing out here?"

I turned around, hearing the stone cold voice of my husband. Usually after waking up from his drunken slumber, he'd be all sweet and apologise but not this time. Kyle was looking at me with dark eyes which had bags under them. He was still in his boxers and his arms were folded as he stared down at me.

I scrambled to my feet and stood in front of him awkwardly. "I wanted some fresh air," I muttered, desperate to not get into another screaming fight. I was too tired.

"So you decided to sit out on a balcony where you could've fallen?"

"Not that you would've minded," I said under my breath so Kyle couldn't hear but he did.

"What did you just say?" he asked.

"Nothing," I replied, walking around him to go back inside.

"Sam," he said and my eyes closed and I turned back around. "You're forehead...I'm...I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I croaked out. "I've dealt with worse."

"You know I love you," he reminded me.

Do you really? Last time I checked, you didn't go around slapping around and breaking the heart of someone you love over and over until that heart was pretty much numb to the pain. I was. And that was pretty sad.

"I know," I said even though I wanted to say something else. "And I love you too."

"Good," Kyle said and we stood there for a moment before he opened up his arms, inviting me in. "Come here?" he asked in a hopeful voice and I reluctantly walked over to him but I stopped before I could reach him. "Please," he added and I sighed, giving in yet again.

He tightened his grip on me and rested his chin on my shoulder. Why do I let him rip my heart out, stomp on it and just screw me over? I had more dignity than that! Ten years ago I would've beaten the slop outta anyone who'd lay a hand on me. But that was before I fell in love...again.

Kyle was the second boy I'd loved. He may have been my first husband but he wasn't my first kiss, my first time or my first love. That position was given to none other than Freddie Benson. My imperfect lover.

I settled for perfection and look how that turned out.

Kyle looked into my eyes and leaned in to kiss me. I could still taste the alcohol on him and I grimaced inside. I never drank. Of course I used to but not like him. After he became addicted, I never touched a drop. And I don't think I ever would. I didn't pull away from Kyle though. He pressed me against him and took off my jacket. I was still wearing his shirt from last night and he started to unbutton it. I still didn't stop him. I preferred this to when he was a complete dick.

Kyle pushed me into the wall and lifted my legs up which then went around his waist. I was so weak when it came to him.

I ran my hands up and down his bare chest and he smiled against my lips. I didn't know whether that was good or bad? Was he relieved I wasn't 'mad' at him or was he finding it comical? Did he laugh at how little self control I had? Did he laugh at how I always came running back to him? Was I a joke to him?

But I couldn't think about that. Not when his mouth was on me and his hands were roaming everywhere. Kyle carried me back to our bedroom and laid me on our bed, climbing on top me, not tearing his mouth away from mine. I was just as bad as him. I encouraged this. I kissed back just as intensely and my back arched as I felt his mouth move to my neck. I threw my leg over his waist, needing to have him close. In bed, he went back to the boy he used to be. We went back to where we were before. Horny teenagers. That's why I still agreed to sleeping with him. Because he couldn't hurt me like this.

He finished unbuttoning the shirt I had on and he made quick work of getting rid of it leaving me in my naked form.

"You're so sexy," he muttered against my skin.

I was sexy to him. I was hot to him.

To my imperfect lover I was beautiful though.

Gah, you see what you're doing to me, Kyle?! You're making me think of him when I'm having sex with you!

Kyle pulled away and sat up, yanking off his boxers and laid back over me. No foreplay involved right now. Usually he'd drag it on but this time he didn't and simply plunged into me with no warning and I let out a loud moan. But I didn't want this. Not when only a few hours had passed since he'd drunkenly attacked me.

I pushed Kyle off me and he slid out of me.

"What the hell, Sam?" he asked angrily, climbing on top of me again and trying to get back inside me but I moved my hips away from him so he couldn't.

"Just get off me, Kyle," I told him.

"Why?"

"Just...just do it to we can have a proper conversation. I can't concentrate when you're laying on top of me naked."

"That means you want me," Kyle argued and kissed me again.

"Get off!" I said loudly, shoving his chest and he landed next to me with an oof. I gulped and grabbed my robe, throwing it on him and I threw Kyle his boxers which he reluctantly slid on.

"What, you don't wanna have sex with me anymore?" he asked.

"Kyle...we need to talk. We can't solve everything by sleeping together."

"It worked all those times before," he reminded me.

"Well maybe I wanna stop!" I yelled.

"What's that meant to mean?" he asked, standing up and approaching me, looking down at me. He was good few inches taller than me and was very built. I was tiny and felt very vulnerable around him.

"It means I'm sick of you treating me like your doormat! I'm your wife and you should treat me with respect! I'm not your doll! I've been there for you with your alcoholism and I haven't left you but I knew any other sane girl would've. I'm surprised I haven't. I know an addiction's hard but it seems you're willing to throw away us for your stupid drink! You hit me and treat me like dirt and I HATE IT!" I screamed, tears rolling down my cheeks. "I love you so much but I'm just your puppet! Why are you still with me? Is it because of the sex? Is it because you find it funny to stomp on my heart over and over?! I'm numb to the pain. Because I've gotten used to it!"

Kyle's face grew from mad to furious and his nostrils flared. He grabbed my chin and slammed my head into the wall, his face inches from mine.

"You are MY wife. You are MINE and you listen to me, girl! You don't talk to me like that!"

I wasn't going to be a victim anymore. Maybe I didn't want perfection but I'd take that over this any day.

"I don't take orders from anyone," I fired back.

"That was a big mistake, little girl," he hissed and he slammed his fist into the side of my head, sending me into the dresser and I could taste the familiar taste of blood in my mouth. And this time he wasn't drunk.

I crawled to my feet and stumbled backwards as I saw a look on my husband's face I'd never seen before. His eyes didn't have that drunken gaze in them. They were dark, dark and sober.

"Are you going to listen to me from now on?" he asked in a low voice.

"I listen to no one," I said, shaking my head.

"You're making this harder on yourself," Kyle told me and flew over to me, shoving me into the closet and I hit my head on it hard. "Why do you have to be so difficult, baby?"

"Don't call me baby," I growled.

"You love it when I call you baby. I KNOW you do," he hissed, his fingers caressing my face and I jerked away from him, elbowing him in the gut and I rushed into the kitchen but Kyle had recovered and followed me. "Get your ass in that bedroom and you will LISTEN to me!"

"NO!" I shrieked. "I'm done, you hear me Kyle?! This time for good! I can't do this anymore!"

"You will not leave me."

"I will."

"I dare you. But you'll be back," Kyle smirked.

"No I won't," I retorted firmly. "You're pathetic and you're nothing but a sad little man who's all talk. I can't believe I ever fell in love with you. I should've stayed in Seattle with-"

"Don't you dare speak his name," Kyle growled, crossing the room. He hated it when I brought up Freddie. He knew I had unresolved feelings for him even though they were buried within me. But when we started going out, they were more visible.

"What? Freddie?" I taunted.

"Shut up."

"Freddie Benson, my first kiss. My first time. My first lover."

"Shut up!"

"He took my innocence, Kyle. And you wanna know a secret?" I whispered, deliberately trying to anger him. "He felt so good. He was so sexy and took my breath away and it was the best night of my life."

Of course the part about it being the best night of my life was a massive lie. I loved the sex, believe me, but after we did it, we had a massive fight and I left.

I wouldn't say I still had feelings for Freddie still. It had been eight years. But the feelings I did have for him took a while to leave and we never did have a closure.

"SHUT UP!" he roared and grabbed my neck, throwing me into the coffee table. "YOU HEAR ME?! SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HIM AND YOU! YOU'RE MINE, I OWN YOU!"

"NO ONE OWNS ME!" I yelled back, getting to my feet. "But I wouldn't mind Freddie owning me." I was only saying this to anger my husband but it worked too well and he let out a loud growl.

He went into the kitchen drawers, bringing out a knife and approaching me. I showed no sign of fear even though I was shaking inside. I'd pushed him too far.

"Do it," I tested him. Could he? Was he really capable of doing this to me.

He grabbed a hold of my hair and put his mouth to my ear. "You're mine, got it?" he whispered and I clutched onto his shoulder as I felt the knife dig into my stomach.

He scraped it along my waistline and I cried out in pain.

It didn't go deep but deep enough to bleed and I sunk to the floor in pain as I watched myself bleed.

"DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?! YOU'RE MINE!"

I nodded, crying harder than I had ever cried in my life, the pain in my stomach unbearable.

"You're nothing, Sam. You couldn't leave. You need me because without me, you're worthless." His voice was dripping with venom.

I had been told my whole life I was worthless and I didn't care if my stomach felt like it was on fire, I wasn't going to be told I was nothing again. I wasn't going to let someone trample over me. That wasn't me.

I grimaced, clutching my stomach as I stood up and stared at my husband who was in a fury.

"Do you love me?" I asked in a shaky voice.

He didn't reply, he just chuckled, shaking his head and walking away from me.

"Love," he commented, facing away from me and I took this as my chance. I looked around the room and I caught site of the rolling pin which sat on the kitchen side. I quietly gripped it and held in my hand tightly. "It's weird. I can say I loved you once but times like today, I often wonder what I ever saw in you."

"That's fine. Because I feel the same way," I growled, holding up the rolling pin and I was about to hit him.

"Put it down," he said in a low, scary voice and he turned around. "You were gonna hit me?"

I couldn't reply.

"That's not how wives behave," he said with a frightening smirk, taking the rolling pin off me. "Is it, baby?"

"No," I replied, plan in mind. "I'm sorry."

"Baby," he smiled. "it's okay."

"I'm a terrible wife."

"Just listen to me next time."

I couldn't believe how easy this was beginning to be. But the pain in my stomach was becoming unbearable.

"I will," I replied, standing closer to him and lacing my arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry, baby. I love you," I said, planting little kisses all over his face.

"It's alright. But you know what to do to make it up to me," he smirked and I nodded, a fake smile appearing on my face but my stomach made it harder and I winced. Kyle looked down at it and sighed. He grabbed my wrist and put me in a chair, grabbing a wet cloth and opening up my robe, pressing the cloth to the wound.

I made a pained face as he tried to make the wound better. Well he caused it!

"I needed to make you listen," Kyle said. Was that his version of an apology?!

"I deserved it," I said, needing him to fall for my trap.

"You did," Kyle agreed and I masked my hurt. It wasn't too deep and had stopped bleeding but it hurt. In many ways. The physical pain and the emotional pain which came with it.

"I'm sorry."

"Just listen. And I won't hurt you."

"Okay," I nodded and Kyle stood me up. He took off my robe, letting it fall to the floor and he pushed me onto the kitchen table, coming on top of me and I winced when he came in contact with my waistline. "Take me to bed," I said to him and he smirked, picking me up and depositing me on the bed. He climbed on top of me but the pain hurt so much so I flipped us over, straddling him so I didn't need to press my stomach against him.

We then had sex. Normally I'd say making love but that wasn't it at all.

I woke up and looked over at my sleeping husband. What did I ever see in him?

I took this as my chance though. I sat up, getting off the bed and I grabbed my suitcase and some other bags, quickly shoving all my clothes and belongings into it before Kyle could wake up. I changed into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. I then went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I grabbed some scissors and grabbed a hold of my hair. It was very long and curly. I began to cut it so it went to just past my shoulders and I bleached it quickly, watching it soon change back to blonde. It wasn't like my hair used to be. It was much blonder now but I needed to be unrecognisable. I wasn't but I was enough.

I went back into the bedroom and grabbed my passport from the drawers. I then grabbed my purse and went into the safe, grabbing as much money as I could. What's mine is yours.

I got a hold of my bags and threw one last look at Kyle. I guess I could leave and I was going to today. This was the last straw. I was DONE. I couldn't hurt myself anymore. I was packing my shit and leaving my husband after all this time. I grabbed a pen and note paper and scribbled down a little letter. Once I was satisfied, I looked around the apartment one last time and I left the god forbidden place. I wasn't coming back, I swore to myself.

I hailed a cab and drove down to the airport.

This was it. I had finally come to my senses.

I stepped out of the car and paid the driver. I looked at the city of New York. The city that never sleeps. I took a deep breath and took off my ring, throwing it to the floor and I went into the airport with the intent of leaving and not coming back.

And that was a promise.


	3. Stained Glass Eyes and Colourful Tears

**Hope you all are enjoying the story. Thank you for the reviews!**

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

I groaned as I slammed my alarm clock with my fists. Why was it set, I didn't have work today? I was up now, no point going back to sleep. I sat up and rubbed my face with my hands, yawning. The clock by my bedside read 6:01. Too early.

I threw my feet off the bed and opened the curtains, my eyes shutting again when the morning sunlight gleamed onto my face. I went into the living room and landed on the couch. I was exhausted. After being up all night sorting through various paperwork, I was in need for a good night sleep but yet I couldn't get that. I may as well make good use of my time though. I'd neglected the cleaning being busy lately. If my mum was here, she'd go postal but one of the perks of living alone was having your crib how you wanted it. Even though it got lonely sometimes.

I also needed to re-stock my fridge and fix the broken cabinet under the sink which had been faulty for a few days now. I couldn't be dealing with a handyman coming down here. Call me cheap but those guys ripped you off in San Francisco.

I went into the kitchen, opening my fridge and groaning. I really needed to re-stock. I'd been living off caffeine and take out for the week since I'd been up to my neck in work. Don't get me wrong, I loved it but there were some times where it got too much. There wasn't much to do this weekend other than do some shopping and cleaning. Clare had gone to New York yesterday to set things up with my boss and a couple of people and they'd be back sometime later in the evening or night. That left me alone all weekend. Fun.

I ran into my bathroom got washed. I rubbed my hand over my stubble as I finished shaving, drying my face with a towel. With one final look in the mirror, I went back into my bedroom, pulling my pyjama top over my head and throwing on a fresh shirt and removed my pyjama pants, putting on some jeans. I made my bed and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a banana as I left the apartment. I needed to buy some groceries for my empty fridge.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, looking at the text from Alexa.

_Can we meet up for lunch some time and talk? xx_

We broke up and I barely liked her! Why couldn't she get that?!

_Sorry, busy with work _I replied.

She didn't reply back.

Hopefully she got the memo and I didn't want to be with her. Heck, I didn't want to be around the woman! I never really _liked _her. I never liked anyone round here romantically. Well okay, some I liked but I never found the right one. But how can you find the right one when you already got her but lost her thanks to your dumb stupidity?

She'd not wanna talk to me now, or want anything to do with me. Why would she? Plus, she was happily married and settled. I wouldn't be surprised if she was pregnant.

I wouldn't say I was still in love with her but I knew my feelings for her never left. They lingered even though I ignored them as best I could. Sometimes I missed her so much though. I missed her blue eyes, her soft blonde hair, her laugh, her smile. Her crazy self, her eating habits, her pink plump lips. All of her, I missed. I wonder if she changed. Was she still as feisty as before? Was she still a meat loving crazy little wildcat? I hoped she hadn't changed. That Kyle dude's lucky and I could only pray he was treating her right.

Sam deserved it.

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

I stumbled off the plane and into the stuffy airport. I could finally breathe. I was away from Kyle. I dragged my luggage across the floor and sat down on a chair, taking a deep breath. I needed to recollect my thoughts. This was crazy. In twelve hours, I'd gone from being an abused wife with her alcoholic and violent husband and now I was...free. But what was I? I mean, I was still married. Legally. But our marriage was out of the window as soon as he broke the first ultimatum.

I refused to think about Kyle though. This was a fresh start for me. I didn't want to go from living in the busy streets of New York, straight to a little town. So I came to San Francisco. Ugh, I was such a bad liar to myself. I knew the real reason I came here and it wasn't because San Fran was busy or for anything like that. Now, I came back for someone and I didn't plan to, I was just lured here by my unresolved feelings I guess.

I doubted I'd find him though. What were the odds? San Francisco was huge.

Then something hit me. Work! I abandoned New York, leaving my husband and my job. My restaurant I worked so hard to get. I sighed. But this was for the best. I had to get out of there.

I looked around and instantly felt myself become nervous. Why did I come here? I was paranoid someone in the crowd was Kyle. I shook it off and grabbed my bags, leaving the airport.

I hailed a cab pretty quickly since living in New York had its perks. I got dropped off at a little motel. I didn't want to spend a lot since I needed to save my money. Who knows how long it would take to get a real job around here? I checked in and went up to my room. It wasn't huge. It had a bed, a bathroom and a couch. Wow.

I dumped my bags on the floor and sat on the bed.

Okay, Sam. You're alone now. No one's here. You can cry now.

And I did. I broke down and I clutched the smelly pillow and sobbed into it. My life was falling apart. I missed Kyle, oddly. I wanted to be in his arms but his old arms. When he was sober. I mean really sober. I yearned for someone to hold me but I was alone. I'm alone in this world. I came to San Francisco so I could 'run into' Freddie. I missed him. I wasn't expecting to run into his arms and we'd get together but I needed someone. I knew he'd be here as a friend so I'd take every chance I could get. Even after all these years, thinking about him still gave me butterflies. I guess I was done pretending. Kyle was out of my life so I could be true to myself.

I'd give anything to go back to that night eight years ago and instead of screaming at him and leaving, I'd snuggle up to Freddie and we'd fall asleep together. We'd manage a long distance relationship and we'd be back together by now. But I decided to pack up my things and leave. I was so stubborn. I still am. But even if I did run into Freddie and he still wanted me, I couldn't get with him like that. My husband beat me. And I only just left him. I had to think about things like money right now and not Freddie.

Oh shit. What if he went searching for me? He'd know I was gone by now and I threw my phone out into the heavy traffic before I left New York so he couldn't track me down. If he found me, I'd run and I'd keep running. He didn't know where Freddie lived. He knew I came from Seattle though. Maybe he'd go there. I don't know. Or maybe he didn't care and would forget about me and go back to the drink. I didn't care. He could drink himself into an early grave and I wouldn't give a damn.

Another lie.

I may hate him but he was my husband. If he died, I'd be horrified. I could never wish death upon him. I just couldn't be around him any more. He was a monster.

And if he was coming to find me, I was terrified of his next attack.

**~New York~**

**General POV**

Kyle rolled over in his bed, expecting to have his wife, Sam next to him but he was met with more mattress. His eyes popped open and he groaned, wanting his wife in bed next to him.

"Baby," he hollered. "Come back to bed!"

But he was met with silence. He rolled his eyes and sat up. Kyle spotted a piece of paper on the bedside table and he frowned, picking it up.

_Kyle, I'm done. You screwed me over a million too many times and I can't take it anymore. I've done everything I can to help you but the reward I got was getting beaten. I can't live like this and you broke promises and ultimatums. I gave you too many chances and this is the final straw. I hope you enjoyed last night because that's the last time you'll ever have me like that and that's the last time you'll ever see me. Don't blame me. Any sane person would've done this months and don't give me the 'I though you loved me' thoughts. I love the OLD Kyle. The one before the drinking but now I wake up and I don't know who I'm married to. I need to think about myself as you won't. Have a nice life, Kyle._

_Sam._

_PS what's mine is yours._

His blood boiled and fury flowed through him. She left! All last night...it was a lie. She left! Kyle threw the note to the bed and kicked the bedside table, letting out a scream. He began to rifle through the closet. Sam clothes were gone. He checked where her passport was. It was gone also and he ran to the safe, unlocking it and nearly all the money was gone.

He was furious.

_I'll find her,_ Kyle thought, _and she'll be sorry._

He yelled out and started to knock things off the kitchen counter before going into his bedroom and picking up a photo of him and Sam at their wedding. They were grinning widely and Sam's arms were around his neck and his were around her waist. Kyle spat on it, right on Sam's face and sent it plummeting to the floor and he watched the frame smash into pieces.

Kyle went back into the living room and went into the storage cupboard. He rifled through his files from a few years ago. He finally found what he kept at his bedside when he and Sam were first dating. It was a photo of Sam, smiling widely. Her eyes were sparkling and looked beautiful at the ripe age of nineteen. True, she never lost that touch, still as beautiful and young looking. Kyle growled at the photo and went back into the living room.

"You'll be sorry," he whispered in a low voice before throwing the photo to the wall, watching the frame smash and he bent down to pick up the photo which lived.

"You'll be sorry," he repeated. "That's a promise."

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

I walked through the city of San Francisco, not finding it too difficult, I mean I DID live in New York. Well not anymore. From here on out I was back to being Sam Puckett and I was a San Fran chick. No longer the spunky big city brunette. I passed streets, buses and strangers, waving to those I passed. I wanted to change myself completely. Normally I wouldn't give a person a second glance but leaving Kyle may have given me shivers about him coming after me but I felt more free and happier. I had the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. Besides the fear of Kyle's return, I felt great.

I was a single woman again. No longer with the burden of that heavy, dragging ring holding me down. No more Kyle. Just me and the world. I couldn't be happier to be shot of the guy.

I really should've left Kyle earlier. I would've saved myself a lot of heartbreak. But better late that never. I was never going back there.

I entered a greasy spoon café, walking up to the bar area place.

"Hey, do you have any jobs going?" I asked the woman who looked in her forties, a little on the plump side but nice enough.

"Depends. How long you planning on working here?" the woman asked, who's badge read 'Tina'.

"Well as long as possible. I just moved so I kinda need somewhere to start. I used to own a restaurant so..."

"Where ya from?" she asked blowing a bubble.

"Originally from Seattle but I moved from New York," I explained and Tina raised her eyebrows.

"So, what's your name?"

"Sam. Sam Puckett," I responded and Tina nodded.

"Well I guess you can work here. I'll give you a full schedule on your first day. You start Monday. Eight in the morning, be here."

"I'm hired?" I asked in astonishment.

"Well what else do you want me to say? This ain't no posh bar, we don't interrogate you. But if you mess up, you're gone."

"I won't. Thank you," I smiled.

"No problem," Tina replied and I left the café feeling pleased with myself. Okay, I had enough money to tide me over and I'd make more with this job so soon I'll be able to get an apartment.

I began to feel more paranoid, the longer I walked round the streets so I decided to go grab some food and head back to the motel. I saw a take out place which sold fried chicken and various other greasy goodness. I entered and ordered a large bucket of chicken pucks. My mouth watered at the food and I grabbed the bucket, paying the guy behind the till and I opened the door, bumping into someone as I did so.

"Dude, watch where you're going," I snapped, looking up at who I bumped into, my eyes squinting to make sure it was the right person and because of the rapidly falling rain.

"Sorry," he replied.

That voice. That beautiful unforgettable voice which was as soft as a lullaby yet so manly and strong.

He frowned, looking down at me and then his eyes widened.

"Sam?" he asked in surprise and I nodded meekly, breaking out a little smile.

"Hey, Freddie."

**Yeah I'm all mean leaving it here but I'm updating tonight so don't be too mad. Just drop me some reviews yeah? And I'm happy you all are so on board with this story!**


	4. Just The Way You Are

**A guest reviewer pointed out that my chapter titles were Pierce The Veil songs which they are. It's my favourite band so I thought I'd have the chapter titles as their songs. **

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

Was I dreaming? Freddie Benson was stood right here in front of me. No, I must be dreaming! How can I? I mean, he DOES live in San Francisco. But...it's so crazy. I haven't seen him properly in eight years. God he still looked so beautiful. Much more matured though. He had a shaved beard and a much defined jawline. Not to mention his biceps which I was able to see through his shirt. I cursed myself mentally for looking at a man after leaving my husband only a day before. But this wasn't just ANY man. This was FREDDIE BENSON.

His eyes mesmerised me the most though. Deep chocolate pools of gorgeousness. He never lost his touch. In fact, he got even more attractive. And his lips, god his lips. They were just so kissable. Dammit, Puckett! What's wrong with you?

"Sam," he breathed, repeating my name again as if it were unbelievable. I couldn't call him a nub for saying that. I was feeling the same. "Why are you here?"

"Travelling. My...uh husband's away on business so I thought I'd come down here," I lamely replied. I didn't want Freddie to know about Kyle as he really was.

"Oh ok. Wow...it's been so long and...woah," Freddie stuttered and before I could say anything else, he brought me into a warm hug and I leaned into him, hugging him back. I inhaled his scent and it brought back so many memories from that night. He hadn't changed. Still gave the best hugs. I felt so safe already. "I missed you," he whispered in my ear and I melted a little.

"I missed you too. So much," I said. I wasn't lying either.

"It's been so long," Freddie commented and I nodded.

"Too long," I added.

"Come on," Freddie said, pulling away from me and I instantly wanted him to hug me again. "Let's get out of the rain."

"Where we going?" I asked him.

"Well we need to catch up obviously. My place?" he offered.

"Sure," I responded. This was so crazy. Freddie and I walked back to his place quickly as it was literally across the road. As we entered the apartment building, Freddie chuckled. "What?" I asked him.

"It's so weird. I mean...HOW are you here?"

"Travelling, I told you," I shrugged.

"I know but it's just so...wow. You know I really did miss you."

"Yeah I know. Who wouldn't miss mama?"

"Still the same old Puckett huh?" Freddie smirked as he hit the elevator button but then he winced. "Wait...you're a Foster now aren't you?"

"No I kept the same name. I figured Sam Puckett worked better than Sam Foster," I quickly covered up.

"Right," he nodded, his eyes then dropping to my hand and he frowned. "Where's your ring?"

"Lost it," I responded. "I'm getting a replacement when I go back to New York."

"Oh okay," Freddie said and we exited the elevator. We then approached a door and Freddie pulled out his keys, unlocking the door and we both went into his apartment.

"Whoa," I commented.

Freddie had done pretty well for himself. Great job. Great apartment. It was very modern looking with a huge living/kitchen area and a giant plasma screen TV on the wall. I could spot a room on the left which I presumed would be his bedroom since I could see a bed as the door was open. The bathroom was on the right and on the far wall was covered in windows.

"Welcome to Casa de Freddie!" he announced.

"Seriously, this is a pretty sweet crib," I said honestly. "I'm guessing Pear gets you a boat load of cash."

"Yeah," Freddie shrugged. In many ways Freddie had accomplished everything he ever wanted. Dream job, dream apartment, dream life. But wait...was he in a relationship? "You thirsty? Hungry?"

I looked down at the bucket of chicken which was now dripping wet. "Well I'm not in the mood for watery chicken," I smirked, dumping it in the trashcan. "What you got?"

"Take a look," he replied and I bounced over to his fancy looking fridge. I opened it and stuck my head inside, pulling out the ham. "Yeah you've definitely not changed," Freddie commented. I smirked to myself and grabbed two cans of peppy cola. "Wanna sit?" he asked and I nodded. I handed him one can and we both sat on his couch.

"So, how you been?" I asked, digging into the ham.

"Really good. I'm deputy boss at the Pear Headquarters," he started and my eyebrows went up. He really did do well.

"Wow, you've really gotten yourself the perfect nerd job," I said, smiling.

"Yeah," Freddie laughed. "It's pretty great out here. I mean it's no New York but San Francisco's awesome. What about you? How's life in the big city?"

I shrugged. "I mean it was really cool in the beginning but the excitement of living in New York has sorta gone down. I mean, it's great and all but living there is a little overrated."

"I see," Freddie nodded, taking a sip of his peppy cola. "And how's the hubby? Treating you right?"

No. He's an abusive alcohol who I've recently left.

"Yeah," I lied. "He travels a lot but he's really great," I said trying my best not to vomit.

"Happy then?"

"Uh huh," I said through gritted teeth. "What about your love life?" I asked, desperately wanting to change the subject.

"What about my love life?" Freddie chuckled.

"How is it?"

"Well I'm single so it's a good as it gets. I haven't exactly met the right one if you know what I mean."

For some strange reason, that answer made my heart flutter a little. Why though? Dammit these stupid unresolved feelings are seriously flooding back to me now. Well how could they not?! I'm sat in Freddie Benson's sweet apartment after not having a real conversation in years and the last time we did, we were both naked. I blushed thinking about that.

We'd finished taking each other's innocence and I was laid on top Freddie who was playing with my hair. We were both sweating and panting. Somehow we got onto the topic of colleges. I was going to New York and Freddie to Caltech. We talked about a long distance relationship and I said how it would never work. Freddie said how we had to try and I remember sitting up and saying that there wasn't no point. I said Freddie would meet some smart chick and forget about me and he got mad. We both did. We were screaming at each other, naked, in Freddie's bed. And then I left.

I said I couldn't deal with it. I kissed him fiercely and we made out like that for some time before I pulled away and said it wouldn't work. I grabbed my clothes and left. The next time I saw him was at my wedding and now here I am. Broken marriage, broken life, yet I'm still thinking about that night eight years ago.

"Oh ok," I lamely replied. I didn't know what else to say.

"How's work? You own a restaurant don't you?" Freddie asked.

Not anymore.

"Yeah it's great."

"If you're here for a while then you'll need to cook for me. You know I can't to save my life," he smirked.

"Sure," I smiled.

"Speaking of which, how long are you here?"

"Not sure yet. Kyle's away for two months."

"Two months?!" Freddie exclaimed and I nodded. "Wow. Does he go away for that long all the time?"

"Sometimes," I shrugged. "He's a lawyer so he's really busy."

"Yeah but shouldn't he make time for his wife?"

Fat chance.

"I don't know," I muttered and Freddie frowned.

"Sam? Is your...is your marriage okay?"

Wow, Freddie. We've been apart eight years and you can still see through me. That was what I hated but loved about the boy...or should I said say man. Yeah. He had stubble on his face and looked more mature. Had his biceps grown?

All through the course of our relationship and even before that, he could see through my lies. Let's just hope I won't have to tell him about the real Kyle. I didn't want to. But I'd have to tell him we split up at least since I'd be in Sam Francisco starting my new life from now on.

I sighed.

"Sam?" Freddie asked again.

"No," I finally said and a perplexed expression went across Freddie's face.

"Why?"

"We split up," I choked out. "I left him and that's why I'm here."

"Oh my god, Sam," Freddie said and he shuffled closer to me, pulling me into his arms. I hugged him back, sighing against him and enjoying the feeling of him touching me like this. "What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," I mumbled.

"That's okay. But just so you know, I never liked that dude. He's a dick," he replied.

"I wish I figured that out sooner like you did."

**~New York~**

**General POV**

Kyle Foster slammed his car door shut, storming into the courthouse. He had his own office as he was one of the top notch lawyers. He won most of his cases. But right now he wasn't working. He was determined to find his wife and bring her back. He wasn't going to let Sam leave like that.

Kyle marched into his office, slamming the door shut and quickly logging onto the computer. His first prediction to where she'd be was Seattle. That was where she came from and where Freddie Benson was since Kyle didn't know Freddie had moved to San Francisco. He checked all plane journeys to Seattle and then the bus routes. But none of them had any times which would match Sam's disappearance.

Logging onto his and Sam's shared back account, he checked what Sam's recent buys were.

"Dammit," he growled. "She must've used cash."

He slammed his fists onto the keyboard and leaned back in his seat.

Kyle knew Sam. He knew her as feisty and different. That was all. He didn't know her past. He didn't KNOW her completely. He didn't know where she would've gone. All he could do was try and find her.

He didn't want to get the police involved; they'd ask questions and perhaps find out about his alcoholism and abusive tendencies. But he knew detectives. Great friends with one actually.

Kyle began to track Sam's phone and it came up with it being in the middle of a lake. He growled. Sam knew anyone could track a PearPhone, she'd been best friends with tech expert, Freddie Benson for years, of course she knew these things. And being the street smart girl she is, she threw her phone out.

Kyle knew in order to not get caught, this was going to be hard. He NEEDED to find Sam. In his eyes, he owned her. And he was going to find her.

But first, he needed a drink.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

Latest news was: Sam Puckett's return!

I was going into the fried chicken place and bumped into Sam! It was so crazy. I hadn't had a real conversation with her since eight years ago where we ended on bad terms and now she was in San Francisco after recently leaving her husband.

I never liked Kyle and was glad Sam left him. I didn't know why and I didn't want to press her. I did wonder why she chose here to come. Still, I didn't want to pester. I was just glad we could talk and without it being awkward.

I missed her.

I didn't want her to leave now I'd gotten her back. I did have unresolved feelings but I didn't want to make a move. The girl was probably still heartbroken about her husband. She looked different now. Her hair was blonder and shorter and she was more matured. Little less a girl and more a woman, as fresh looking as a twenty-six old could look. But yet she was so mysterious. Like always.

Growing up I was so curious about Sam. Why was she removed, distant and...Sam. I didn't know and when we started dating, she trusted me with her life and I trusted her with mine. I told her about my father and she told me about hers. She let her guard down and I entered. The true Sam Puckett was revealed. That was her when we were together but it seems now her guard seems to be built bigger and stronger. I noticed she winced whenever I asked a question about her life so I changed the subject. I didn't want her feeling uncomfortable. If Sam was staying in San Francisco, I wanted a great friendship between us. I didn't want us going back to where we were when we didn't speak. I'd gotten her back and I wasn't willing to let go.

After a chat about our lives and how things were the past eight years, carefully avoiding the topic of Kyle Foster, Sam and I were now playing cards. We were sat cross legged on the floor with a pizza between us. I couldn't cook and Sam couldn't be bothered so instead we ordered a giant meat feast, after Sam had eaten half of my freshly bought ham.

It really was great how we could go back to being so close after almost a decade of not speaking. I suppose, what we had, friendship and relationship wise, was pretty great.

"Your turn," Sam said to me.

Sam was very talented at hiding her emotions but once the girl has let her guard down for you, it's hard for her to hide her feelings from you. I knew she was hurting about Kyle and I didn't want to press her about what happened. She could tell me if she wanted to but it wasn't my business.

"So, since you don't have anywhere to really be, how long are you really staying in San Fran?" I asked Sam who shrugged.

"I don't know. I mean, like you said, I don't have anywhere I NEED to be. I guess I'll go where the wind takes me," she responded.

"What about work? Did you leave your restaurant?"

Sam sighed, putting her cards down and taking a gulp of her drink.

"Leaving was pretty fast. Kyle was asleep and I grabbed my shit, took some money and grabbed a last minute flight out here. I didn't think about anything else, I just had to leave and please don't ask me why."

"I won't. Don't worry," I assured her and Sam nodded.

"I got a job at a little café a block from here," Sam said. "I mean it's not owning a restaurant but it's somewhere to start."

That must be hard. She always wanted to own a restaurant and having to abandon it would've been tough.

"That's good. That you're starting fresh. But if you need some extra work, you can come to me."

"I'm no good with computers, Fredgut, you know that," Sam replied and I smirked. "What?"

"Nothing...it's just I kinda missed your nicknames."

"You missed them?" Sam asked laughing.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "And anyway, you wouldn't need to fix computers or anything. Just work in an office."

"I'll see. A café's safe for now," Sam told me and I nodded.

"Where are you staying?" I asked suddenly.

"A motel not far from here."

"No you're not," I said and Sam frowned. "You think I'm gonna let you stay in a MOTEL? Come on, Sam."

"Where else do you suggest?"

"Here," I said simply and Sam's eyes grew. "What? You could stay with me, Sam."

"There's no room," Sam argued.

"I have a sofa bed," I said in a 'duh' tone.

"Doesn't matter."

"No. You're staying here. Come on, this place is better than some icky motel," I persuaded. "Plus you don't have to pay to stay here. It'll save you money. It's a good offer."

Sam groaned. "Just for the money."

"Awesome," I grinned and Sam rolled her eyes.

"I'm gonna get my stuff," she said, standing up and going to the door but she turned around to look at me before she left. "Hey. Thanks. I'm glad I crashed into you."

"My clumsiness comes in handy, what can I say?"

Sam rolled her eyes again and left the apartment. I grinned to myself. I was finally getting Sam back. Even though I knew we wouldn't run back into each other's arms and be a couple, I knew we'd be good friends. And it was early days but still...today had been great.

I cleaned up the living room, binning the empty pizza box and cans of peppy cola. I made a mental note to get some cherry flavoured ones next time I could go grocery shopping since those were Sam's favourites. I wasn't trying to worm my way back into her love life, she was hurting over Kyle. I wouldn't do that. I just wanted to be here for her. And make up for eight years.

A while later, Sam returned with her bags and she dumped them by the couch. It was pretty late and by the look on Sam's face, I could tell she was ready to crash.

"You can use the bathroom in my room. The other one is pretty small," I told Sam who nodded, getting her toiletry bag and going into the bathroom.

If someone told me I'd come across Sam and she'd be staying with me until she could get on her feet, I'd have told them they were crazy. But actually being here...it wasn't so crazy.

Sam returned shortly after, running a brush through her hair as I set up the sofa bed.

"Is it ready?" Sam asked.

"Yeah...uh you can sleep in my bed if you want."

"Benson, I'm not going to deprive you of your own bed. I'm fine here," Sam protested.

"Puckett," I mocked her. "You're a guest, sleep on my bed."

"Dude, sleep on your own bed."

"My bed's comfier than the sofa bed," I said folding my arms.

"Then you should sleep on it."

"Sam," I said firmly. "Sleep. On. The. Bed."

"Ugh, you're not gonna give up are you?" she asked knowingly and I grinned, shaking my head. Sam rolled her eyes, picking up her bags and going into my bedroom.

"Night, Sam," I said to her, leaning against the doorframe as she closed the curtains.

"Night, Fredward."


	5. May These Noises Startle You

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

"Kyle..." I heard Sam say from my bedroom. She sounded like she was in pain. "Stop...please...stop it! Kyle! Stop! No, please! AGH!"

I shot up like a flash, stumbling off the couch and rushing into my room where I found Sam sat in the corner of my bedroom, clutching a pillow to her chest, crying. I crouched next to her and tried to bring her into my arms.

"Let go!" she cried.

Why was she acting like this? What happened to her?

"Sam, it's me. It's Freddie," I assured her.

"Kyle, stop it! Don't touch me! I can't take it anymore!" she shrieked and I was mortified. What the hell is happening?!

"It's Freddie. Not Kyle. He's not here, Sam," I said again but Sam remained kicking, frantic to keep me away. What was I supposed to do?! I couldn't LEAVE her like this! Mustering all my energy (and courage), I picked Sam up, ignoring the way she screamed, kicking her arms and legs all over the place.

"PUT ME DOWN!" she roared and I laid her on the bed.

The girl I once knew; the feisty blonde, she now looked broken. Someone had BROKEN her. Kyle had BROKEN her. Sam clung to the pillow, screaming into it and kicking her legs everywhere, her hands flying to her hair, pulling on it and I sat beside her unable to think or move. I was dumbstruck.

I tried to grab Sam's wrists but she ended up fighting me and hitting me in the face. Damn that hurt. But I wasn't going to give up.

"Sam, please, it's Freddie, not Kyle. You know I won't hurt you," I whispered and she took her hands from her hair.

"Kyle...?"

"No, sweetie, it's Freddie," I said gently.

"Freddie!" Sam cried, hugging me and crying into my shoulder. "Freddie, don't let him hurt me! Don't let him, please."

"Who, Sam? Who's hurting you?"

"Kyle," Sam responded and my blood boiled. "He's scary, Freddie. Help me! Please, don't let him hurt me! He's gonna hurt me! He always does!"

"Honey, you've got to calm down," I soothed, laying Sam down where her sobs turned into whimpers and whines. She gripped onto my shirt and looked up at me. "What is going on?"

Sam shook her head. "I can't...he'll hurt me."

"He's not going to hurt you," I growled in a protective manner but Sam argued against me and nodded fervently.

"He will. He said. I can't tell you, he said he'll hurt me and make me sorry. He always says that!" Sam sobbed and I held her in my arms, resting my cheek on the top of her head, sighing a little when she began to calm down.

I looked down at Sam, noticing that she was asleep. I relaxed a little and pulled the blanket over both of us. I didn't want to leave Sam alone tonight. I didn't want to press her about what on earth just happened, but I needed to know if she was okay.

I knew Sam and Kyle broke up but I didn't know why. Why was she scared of him? Did he abuse her? No...he can't...but what if he does? Gah, my curiosity got the better of me. I untangled my arms from Sam and studied her body.

I pulled up the sleeves of her pyjama top to check out her arms. Nothing. Other than he usual old bruises which had been there since high school. I was about to lift up her top to look at her stomach when I felt Sam stir and she opened her eyes.

"Hey," I said, laying back down next to her and she rested her head on my shoulder. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry," she apologised.

"Don't be," I said and I paused for a minute. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened? Between you and Kyle."

Sam sighed, sitting up and her arms went around her legs. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Sam I wanna help you," I said, sitting up as well. "You're my friend and if something bad had happened then-"

"Nothing bad has happened!"

"You were screaming in your sleep," I reminded her.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready," she murmured, laying back down and grabbing my hand to yank me back down onto the bed. I wrapped my arms around her and she rested her head on my chest. "Lay with me."

"Okay," I responded.

"Don't give me shit about this tomorrow," Sam muttered. "I'm not ready to tell you what happened."

"I won't press you, Sam. I want you happy and back on your feet."

"Thank you."

"Goodnight," I said.

"Goodnight," she replied, and soon she fell asleep yet again.

I studied her facial features as she slept. What on earth had the poor girl gone through? I needed to know. I WOULD know...but not right now. I needed Sam in a good place. Happy, healthy and okay. I wouldn't press her about it. She'd just need know that I was here and I wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon.

...

"Freddie wake up," I heard Sam whisper in my ear and I groaned, burying my face in the pillow. "Freddie," she said again, shaking my shoulder.

"What?" I asked, my voice muffled.

"I made breakfast," she replied and I rolled over to find a tray of morning food laid out in front of me. "To make up for last night."

"I told you, you don't need to apologise," I told her, sitting up, the breakfast in my lap.

"Yeah I do...I'm...look I appreciate what you're doing but I think it's best I just go," Sam said, standing up and my eyes widened. Oh hell no, I had just gotten her back, I wasn't going to let her go like that.

I put the breakfast and stood up also. "No, don't leave."

"Look at me, I'm a mess!"

"I just got you back, Sam. Whatever you went through, I'll help you! You're not alone! But please don't leave! I don't want you to!"

"Freddie..." she whined and before I knew what I was doing, I cupped her face and rested my forehead against hers.

"Let me take care of you. What happened to you, Sam?"

"You...you can't tell anyone," she said in a shaky voice.

"I swear. I won't tell anyone," I promised her and she nodded. I pulled away from her and she gripped onto her pyjama top but a flash of fear went across her face and she began to breathe heavily. "Sam?"

She stumbled backward, gripping onto the doorknob of the bathroom door but fell back into my bathroom and bashing her head on the sink.

Shit.

**~New York~**

**General POV**

Finishing his last bottle of whiskey, Kyle slammed down the bottle on the table, with the rest of the other ones. He got up off the chair in his kitchen, stumbling over to the door when it rang.

He stumbled into many pieces of furniture, but pulled open the door, revealing Donna, one of Sam's employees from her restaurant.

"Mr Foster, do you know where Mrs Foster is? She hadn't shown up-are you okay?" Donna started and Kyle grunted.

"Sam left," he slurred out.

"What do you mean she left? Are you drunk?"

"She LEFT! She left me and she's not coming back! So you can kiss your job goodbye because she's not returning. Goodbye!" he hollered, slamming the door shut and waddling back over to the couch.

"Sam, you're so stupid," Kyle said to himself. "I'll find you and I'll bring you home."

Then Kyle passed out from all the alcohol and began to forget about Sam for a while but when he woke up again, she'd be the first thing to spring into his mind.

And finding her would be his mission.

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

Ow. My head.

I felt dizzy and weird. Not to mention my achy head KILLED. Then memories of last night flooded into my head. Screaming in my sleep, Freddie helping me, me saying I'm leaving the next morning, Freddie saying no and I was about to tell him. Dammit, Sam! You can't! He doesn't need to know!

"Sam?" Freddie asked as my eyes fluttered open and I realised I was on Freddie's couch. He had a cold cloth pressed to my forehead.

"Hey," I said, my voice scratchy. "What happened?"

"You hit your head. How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy."

"It'll wear off," Freddie assured me and he sat beside the couch, looking at me, caressing my cheek. "Sammy, I wish I knew what happened, then I could help you."

"I told you, I don't want to tell," I said and he nodded.

"I'm not pressing you."

"Good."

"But you know I'm here right? I'm not leaving and whenever you need me, I'm here. I don't want you feeling scared around me when I'll never in a million years hurt you. You're safe here," Freddie said to me, pulling me into a comforting hug and I hugged back as best I could laying down.

"I know I'm safe," I said.

But the real truth was, I feared I wasn't.


	6. She Sings In The Morning

**~San Francsico~**

**Sam's POV**

"You sure you're going to be okay on your own?" Freddie asked me as he put on his jacket, about to leave for work.

"Yes! Now go," I ushered him out of the apartment and closed the door.

Freddie hadn't pressed me about the meltdown I had last week and thank goodness for that. I started my shift at that café in a few hours. I started my first day a few days ago and it wasn't no restaurant but it was okay. I was trying my best not to think about Kyle but lately he'd been on my mind so much. Just forget about him! Ugh it wasn't so easy!

I went into the fridge and pulled out some juice. I wasn't ever going to tell Freddie about Kyle's true self. I couldn't come clean about it. He'd make me file a police report and all that and I just wanted a fresh start, I didn't need to be reminded about my alcoholic and abusive dumbass of a husband.

I laid down on the couch, flipping through crappy TV, groaning when there was nothing on. I decided to have a good look around Freddie's apartment. I went into his bedroom. It was pretty normal. I didn't want to snoop or anything. I looked out of the window and down at the city. It wasn't a busy and crazy as New York but San Fran was a great place. I was proud of Freddie and what he had achieved. Another reason for me to tell him.

Freddie was a very fix it kinda guy and he'd see a problem and want it sorted. I couldn't interfere with his awesome life with my problems. I wanted to stay friends with him...even though it seemed old feelings were coming back. I couldn't help it. He was so nice and so...Freddie. Being with him like this made me realise just how much I missed him back in New York.

After lounging around a little and watching some stupid movie, I checked the time and I realised I had to get to the café. I grabbed my bag and locked the door behind me with the key Freddie gave me. I wasn't sure how long I was planning on staying with him but I didn't want to move out yet and it seemed he didn't want that either.

I walked out of the apartment building and towards the café. The door opened and Tina greeted me.

"Hey, Sam," she said smiling.

"Hey," I responded.

"Alright, you're on counter duty today since Marie's not here." She handed me my red apron with my name badge and I quickly put it on, throwing my bag somewhere.

I went behind the counter and started work. Tina was great and a good person to talk to. I didn't tell her about having a husband though, that was a thing of the past.

The whole café was lively and always so energetic. Sure, it wasn't New York but it was still busy.

This job kept me busy yet I wanted something more. I didn't want to push my luck too much. I'd already gotten a roof over my head, ran into FREDDIE, now living with him and I have a job. All within over a week.

As I was cleaning the counter, I spotted a dark haired guy about my age, drinking his coffee. He had tattoos up his arms and a leather jacket on. He reminded me of Kyle. Dammit, Sam, snap out of it! But I can't.

He's intoxicated my brain and now won't leave. Kyle was poison! I wished I could erase him from my life. I wished I never fell in love with him. I wish I came to my senses and left as soon as he put his hands on me and hurt me the first time.

I wished I never left Freddie eight years ago.

Being with him again, in his apartment, in his warm bed, it brought back all those unresolved feelings and now I'm so confused. I couldn't like him already, I'd only just left my husband.

But Freddie was so Freddie...I never got over him. He was still so beautiful and sweet and nerdy. I was glad I had him as a friend. Even though I wanted more. And he was so amazing with my meltdown. I was still having the dreams and Freddie would occasionally come into his room to calm me down yet never pressured me to tell him. He was amazing.

I couldn't believe it. I was barely over my husband but I was so...invested in Freddie. It was like we were eighteen all over again.

Shit, I'm falling all over again.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

As much as Sam's meltdown not long ago had frightened me, I didn't want to press her. If she wanted to tell me, she'd tell me and I wasn't willing to scare her off. I'd only just gotten her back. I knew something must have happened between her and Kyle but I didn't want to analyse things and force it out if her. Sam wanted a fresh Kyle free start and I was going to give that to her.

Even though she hadn't even broken up with Kyle that long ago I couldn't help these old feelings inside. It was like all those years ago, all those feelings, were back again. I didn't want to talk to her about that either. The girl had literally just ran from her husband.

Right now I was busy at work, wondering how Sam was doing. Right now, she was okay...so far. What had happened with her and Kyle? I wanted to know so I could help Sam, but I wouldn't push her.

"Hey, how's it going?" Clare asked as she stood in the doorway. "You came in looking...I don't know...happy?"

I chuckled, rolling my eyes and Clare gave me a look.

"Who is she?" she asked, grinning.

"She's an old friend," I informed her.

"Sam Puckett?" Clare asked knowingly.

"Maybe," I replied quickly.

"She's more than a friend! You gonna ask her out?" she questioned, her eyebrows raising.

"She's only just split up from her husband, I'm not the kinda guy to go after her that quickly!" I exclaimed, my eyes still glued to the computer screen.

"But you want you?"

"Do you have someplace to be?" I snapped.

"Nope."

"Well I'd like for you to leave," I said, grinning at Clare who glared at me.

She shrugged, closing the door behind her after she hollered, "you love the Puckett!"

"Clare!" I yelled and she ran off.

I rolled my eyes, getting back to work, my mind still stuck on Sam. I didn't know...it wasn't about the Kyle issue even though a lot of it was, but I was just thinking about HER. It's like I can't escape from her. I knew I liked her, my feelings never left. But...were they stronger? I mean she was living with me, sleeping in my bed and basically starting to trust me again.

But whatever, even if that was true I wouldn't do anything. Sam needed real time to recover. Whatever she went through, I know it wasn't good.

I checked the time and saw it was time to go home. I cleared up my working space and grabbed my blazer but then a thought popped into my head. What with the arrival of Sam and what she was going through, I couldn't just LEAVE her.

"Clare," I called and she instantly came rushing down the hall.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I can't go to the New York conference," I told her and her eyes widened.

"Why not?"

"Personal problems. Look I wouldn't say if it wasn't urgent."

"Okay I'll pass it on," she said slowly and I nodded, granting her thanks before rushing out of the building. I groaned as I felt it pour it down with rain.

"The place is freaking huge," a voice behind me spoke and I jumped turning around to see Sam stood there with an umbrella eating a churro.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I asked, getting under the umbrella.

"Well I finished my shift and so I thought I'd come surprise you at work."

"Real reason?" I gave her an incredulous look, smirking a little.

"I dropped the keys you got me cut down the drain," she muttered and I rolled my eyes as we walked through the parking lot.

"We'll get another one cut and try not to drop them," I responded, reaching my car. Sam took down the umbrella and she climbed into my passenger seat as I got in. I started the engine and began to drive. "How was work?"

"Good. It's no restaurant but..."

"Baby steps," I reminded her.

"I know."

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

"Well, Puckett, you didn't lose your touch," Freddie commented as he dug into the meal I made for us both.

Considering I used to own a restaurant, Freddie had been bugging at me to cook for him and today I made him my famous spaghetti and meatballs.

"I know I didn't," I smirked.

"How're you feeling today?" he asked. "About..."

"Kyle?" I offered and Freddie nodded meekly. "I don't know. It's not something you get over quickly," I said, twirling my spaghetti round my fork awkwardly.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Sam, I know-"

"I know you mean well but I really DON'T want to talk about it!" I snapped, standing up and walking over to the couch.

"Sam," Freddie started, following me as I sat on the couch, facing away from him. "I'm sorry."

"I just...I don't like talking about that."

"I know. I'm really sorry. I...oh come here," he said and brought me into a warm hug which I ended up giving into.

The rest of the evening was pretty low key, just the two of us hanging out but somehow my mind was still latched onto Kyle. He was messing with my head.

Freddie and me were in the kitchen and he somehow convinced me to make some brownies since he loved my cooking that much. I told him he was a nub, but obliged anyway.

"Alright, I think I can handle this bit," Freddie told me as I got the brownies from the side after they had cooled down a little. They now needed to be cut up into smaller pieces.

Freddie went into one of his kitchen drawers and pulled out a knife. As soon as I saw him with it, I panicked. I thought back to when Kyle stabbed me and I stumbled backward into the table, clutching my stomach and falling over.

"Sam?!" Freddie exclaimed, kneeling down to see me, still holding the knife and I took it off him, throwing it across the room. "What's going on?" he asked.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. "Nothing," I breathed.


	7. Tangled In The Great Escape

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

I jolted up again after yet another nightmare. My breath was jagged and rough. I clutched my stomach, lifting my top to see my still fresh scar from when Kyle had stabbed me. I could still feel it. The way he sunk it into my skin and ripped into it. The way he just slept with me straight after and pretended it was okay. He was sick.

He wasn't always like this. He used to be so amazing. So perfect...but he just changed. I thought back to how things were. We dreamt of having a child someday. If things hadn't gone awry, I may have been pregnant right now. We even TALKED about it. Kyle said I should stop taking birth control as well.

But everything went wrong. Kyle was someone I didn't even recognise. He was gone and someone else had taken his place as my husband.

...

_"Let's make a baby," Kyle whispered in my ear one night. We'd been married over four years and so far, things were amazing. I had my business and Kyle had his job. We were living in a cosy, modern apartment, just the two of us._

_"Right now?" I smirked, looking at him in amusement. We'd talked about kids a few times, but we'd never had a serious talk about it._

_"Why not? We're married, settled, in love, great income. Why not make a baby?"_

_"Are you sure?" I asked him, playing with his jet black hair._

_"Yeah. Don't you want a child?"_

_"Of course I do," I exclaimed. "I just...I don't know about motherhood and...I mean I've never had a role model if you get what I mean."_

_"Yeah, I know," Kyle said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear and kissing my forehead. "But you'd be a great mother. You're fun, sweet and loving. And protective."_

_"So...are we really doing this then?" I asked him._

_"Yeah...stop taking your birth control and we'll start trying," he replied._

_"Wow," I commented. "A baby!"_

_"I know!" Kyle agreed, kissing me and I smiled against his lips, shuffling closer to him in bed. He flipped me over, kissing my neck and I sighed, arching my back._

_These past years had been so great. Kyle and me were just...amazing and everything was perfect._

_"Okay before we start making babies, you can go make me breakfast," I ordered, slapping Kyle lightly on his heavily tattooed arm. I had to admit, his tattoo sleeves were ridiculously hot._

_"Yes boss," he replied, kissing me briefly before standing up and throwing on his robe. He walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, leaving me in our big bed._

_I rolled over and saw a picture of Kyle and me at our wedding and I looked down at my wedding ring, biting my lip as I smiled. It was just so perfect. I remember that day so well. The way I was freaking out the morning before and how seeing Kyle at the alter just made my nerves go away. I remember sharing our first kiss as husband and wife and our first dance. Now we were talking about our first child. It was crazy but time went by when you were having fun._

_Motherhood...was I ready for that? I still couldn't use the washing machine without pressing the wrong button. I mean, I could cook though. But...I don't know. The idea was crazy. Well Kyle seemed to think I was able and he knew me better than anyone round here. Plus I wouldn't be alone. I'd have him to help me._

_I thought about Kyle as a father. He'd be so great. He treated me like a princess and the idea of seeing him with a child was already making my heart melt._

_I stood up, throwing on Kyle's oversized t shirt and making my way to the kitchen where I saw Kyle on the phone, looking pretty irritated. I went over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind and pressing soft kisses to his back._

_"Fine," he snapped rudely down the line to whoever was on the phone. "Well yes I do have a problem with it! It's not like I don't have a life! I have other things to do and I have a wife to take care of? You think I'm gonna leave her by herself six days a week?! Fired?! You can't make me-you know what?! Fine! If it'll save my goddamn job!" He then slammed the phone on the counter and let out a long sigh._

_I rested my cheek against his back, since he was so tall, and kissed him there._

_"What was that about?" I asked him and he turned around, walking away from me. "Kyle?"_

_"Just work stuff!" he said bluntly, in no mood to argue but when he saw the look on my face, he sighed. "I'm sorry, baby, it's just...my boss is practically making me work double the hours now and has piled two cases on me. One murder one and one rape. It's bad enough dealing with one of those but two?! All this month!"_

_"Honey, just try and relax okay?" I said, walking over to him._

_"How can I?" he grunted._

_"Don't let it bleed into everything you do. If it gets too much, just talk to your boss," I offered._

_"My boss is a dick, baby. You know that."_

_"Well then quit. There's plenty of other lawyer jobs."_

_"No, Sam. It's great income and it may take ages to find a new job."_

_"Okay," I finally said. "Just please don't work yourself too hard. For me."_

_"I won't," he replied, kissing my forehead. "Bacon okay?"_

_"Is it okay?!" I scoffed._

_"Shoulda known," Kyle smirked, going over to the stove._

...

Kyle WOULD work himself too hard. Instead of coming to me to talk, he went to the bar and that's how he turned into an alcoholic. And he took out all the stress on me when he was drunk.

The first time Kyle hit me was a horrible night. He was so angry. It was nothing like I'd ever seem him before.

It was also the night I thought I was pregnant. Despite how stressed Kyle was, he still told me to go off birth control and with the minimal times we had sex because of how busy he was, I was certain I was pregnant. I'd taken three tests, all positive, and carried all the signs. I could feel it.

...

_I was nervously waiting on the couch, holding the three pregnancy sticks in my hand. They were positive. Kyle was still at work so I'd wait until he was relaxed, or as relaxed as he could get before I'd tell him._

_A child...this was so surreal. I couldn't believe it. I was pregnant. I was going to become a mother in nine months. And Kyle would be a father._

_The front door closed and I quickly thrusted the pregnancy sticks down the sofa. I stood up, approaching my husband but could smell the disgusting alcohol aroma around him._

_"Are you drunk?" I asked softly._

_"Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not," he slurred, throwing his jacket and briefcase on the floor._

_"What did I say about that? Come here, let me get you some coffee. Sober you up," I said, my arm going around him to guide him to the couch but he threw me off._

_"I don't like being sober," he simply said._

_"You can't keep doing this!" I exclaimed but my voice lowering again. "Honey, please. Look, I need to tell you something and it's important."_

_"Tell me," he said, grabbing onto the door handle as he couldn't stand up straight._

_"Maybe I should wait until you're-"_

_"TELL ME!" Kyle roared._

_I gulped, going back over to the couch and pulling out the pregnancy tests. I tentatively handed them to him and he gawped at the sticks._

_"What are these?" he hissed._

_"Pregnancy tests...you said you wanted a baby with me remember? You said we should start trying and...I'm pregnant."_

_"Pregnant!" he hollered, throwing the sticks to the ground. "You can't be a mother," he spat._

_"Why not? You said I was capable!"_

_"Get rid of it," Kyle simply said._

_"No," I whispered. "It's my baby and it's yours too. We said, we'd try and now-"_

_"GET RID OF IT!" Kyle interrupted, shoving me on the couch._

_"Kyle..." I started, standing up. "You can't...you need to stop getting so drunk!"_

_"Don't tell me what to do!"_

_"Stop it, okay! I hate it! I hate having to clear up your empty bottles or your puke or going to bed alone because my husband would rather be drinking himself to death!" I screamed and I couldn't prepare myself for what happened next._

_Kyle hit me, closed fist, on the mouth. I grunted as my head threw back and I was familiarised with the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. I pressed two fingers to my lip and felt tears spike my eyes._

_I looked up at my husband and back down at my bloody fingers._

_I walked into the bedroom and locked it, crying myself to sleep whilst Kyle banged on the door but soon gave up. He apologised the next day and said he wanted a baby but I told him I wasn't really pregnant. I wasn't. The tests turned out false. I took another five he next day and three were negative so I went to the doctors to check. No baby._

_I forgave Kyle after a little while and when he did it again, I still forgave him. And over and over._

_Until now._

...

"Sam?"

I looked up to see Freddie leaning against the bathroom doorframe, rubbing his stubble on his chin. "You up already?" He was dressed in his work clothes and was busy tying his tie.

"I couldn't sleep," I mumbled.

"Oh okay. Well I'm going to work. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," I said and Freddie grabbed his blazer from his closet.

"I'll see you later then," he replied.

"Bye," I said and Freddie left.

He was being such a good friend and I was miserable company. I just wished I could tell Freddie.. He was so...good with these things.

Ugh but my head!

**~New York~**

**General POV**

"Where's your wife?" Alex, Kyle's good friend, asked as he walked into Kyle's apartment which had a strong smell of alcohol.

"She left," Kyle replied gruffly.

"Left?!" Alex exclaimed.

"She...she packed up her shit the other night and left," Kyle simply said.

"And you've been drinking to get through it?" Alex asked knowingly.

Kyle took this as his chance. He couldn't have anyone know about his alcoholism so if people asked why he was so drunk or stunk of booze then he could say he was coping with Sam 'suddenly' leaving. He could pull off the heartbroken husband act easily enough.

"I don't know what I did!" Kyle cried, acting very well. "I love her and she's...gone!"

"Selfish brat."

"I bet she's gone running to Freddie Benson," Kyle grunted, sitting on the couch, wallowing in self pity.

That wasn't an act. He was convinced Sam had run back to Seattle to Freddie and was now with him. The thought disgusted him. True, he was her first true love and she never really got over him but the idea of Freddie freaking Benson with his hands all over Sam infuriated him.

As badly as Kyle treated her now, to him, she was his. And no one else's.

"Freddie Benson?" Alex questioned, sitting beside his friend on the couch.

"Sam's ex. She was still heartbroken about him when she came to New York and I fixed her up. She never got over him and she was rubbing it in my face. Saying how he was her first kiss, love and first time. She said it was the best night of her life," Kyle explained, leaving out all the important parts.

"What a bitch," Alex growled. "Guess we were wrong about her."

"I need to find her. And I need you to help me."

"How?"

"I don't know. Track her down somehow. Track down Freddie Benson, but I will NOT let Sam just leave me like this," Kyle hissed. "No way in fucking hell."

**~San Francsico~**

**Sam's POV**

All day. Every second of this blasted day had been full of thoughts of Kyle. I wish Freddie was here to take my mind off it whether he'd be jabbering on about Galaxy Wars or computers. At least I'd get a distraction.

I couldn't take it anymore! I had to forget.

This was the worst way to go, I thought to myself as I left the apartment, getting into the elevator.

My mind wasn't in the right place, my head wasn't screwed on, my legs were just retarded and they led me to a bar.

Why? Kyle was an ALCOHOLIC so I shouldn't be drinking. I swore to myself I never would. But if it meant forgetting for a night then so be it. Freddie wasn't back until later though.

I'm going crazy. I must be.

But I still sat on a barstool.

I'm not right in the head! What person DRINKS to take their mind off their ALCOHOLIC husband? Not a normal one.

But still, I ordered a bottle.

I've got to be a screw loose. I've got to be going mental. This wasn't right. Drinking! How could I?! I was so hypocritical. It was just wrong to drink to take my mind off Kyle. I was disgusted in myself.

But still, I downed the bottle. And still, I had no intention of going back to the apartment.


	8. Hold On Till May

**If you haven't already, check out my new story called You're Not Gone which is about Sam and Freddie, and their kids, who go on a vacation and there is a tsunami.**

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

I unlocked the front door, heading into my apartment and calling out Sam's name but was met with no response. She was probably asleep, or was out getting food. Seemed very Sam. I still wasn't completely content with leaving her alone but she didn't want me walking on eggshells around her. Plus I didn't even know what HAPPENED to her. All she wanted, I bet, was some normality.

I took off my jacket, throwing it over the couch and I went into the bedroom but saw my bed, still not made, but no Sam. Eh, Sam never made the bed. Not when she was a teenager and not now.

I went back into the lounge and pulled out my phone, getting Sam's number and texting her. She told me she lost her phone so, working for Pear, I managed to get her the new PearPhone.

I sat at the breakfast bar, my phone in my hands. I was worried about her. She was probably out getting food but I couldn't help but feel anxious. I don't know, I just overcompensate and I feel like Sam's not stable mentally.

My leg shook, waiting for a reply but after ten minutes, I got nothing and I couldn't take any more waiting. I abruptly got to my feet, grabbed my jacket and phone, leaving the apartment.

She's not gonna be in danger.

I did have a tendency to think of worst case scenarios but I couldn't help it. Not when I didn't know what was going through Sam's head. She couldn't be thinking straight, she's been...elsewhere for days.

I first went into any fast food places I could see but Sam wasn't anywhere to be seen. I tried calling her again but she didn't pick up, or answer my texts.

I then walked to where she worked but no one had seen her there either. Ugh, where was she?!

I wouldn't be worried if she CALLED or answered my texts!

I rubbed the back of my neck in frustration as I walked past a bar, the music blaring loudly and I looked in it for a split second and then turned away but my head suddenly shot back and I recognised the girl stood on the bar.

Sam.

I rushed into the bar and saw her with a bottle of something in her hands as she was stood on the bar, talking through the microphone. I noticed there were a lot of men surrounding her, and cheering her on.

I went up to the bartender who also seemed to be intrigued in Sam's performance.

"How many has she had?" I asked him and he shrugged.

"She's been in here a while," he simply said and I sighed, going over to Sam.

"Sam, come on, we're going home," I told her and she laughed at me.

"Everybody, this is my friend Freddie Benson!" Sam announced, extending her arm out to me.

"Sam, come on," I urged, grabbing her hand but she jerked away from me.

"No, I wanna stay here. It's fun!" she argued and all the men laughed. I rolled my eyes and threw Sam over my shoulders. She let out a scream, hitting my back and kicking her legs as she dropped the microphone and bottle.

"Benson, put me down!" she yelled but I wouldn't. I carried her out of the bar and then set her down on her feet. I didn't let her walk away, instead I grabbed her wrist and dragged her back to my apartment, practically carrying her actually.

I held Sam's waist as I unlocked the door and I opened it, walking into my apartment, closing it behind me and I set Sam on the couch.

"Stay there," I ordered and I went into the kitchen, pouring her a glass of water. I went back to the couch and handed her the glass but she declined it. "Sam just take it! Sober you up."

"I don't wanna be sober," she mumbled and I sighed.

"Why?"

"Because...I'll remember."

"Remember what?!"

Sam glared at me and stood up stumbling over to the bedroom. Girl couldn't even walk straight. I followed her and grabbed her arm.

"No, you're gonna tell me what's up!" I said firmly and Sam jerked out of my grasp.

"Leave me alone," she slurred and I pushed her against the door.

"I know you and Kyle split up, but you won't tell me shit and you say it's nothing and you're off getting drunk to forget! Forget what?! Puckett, you gotta give me some answers."

Sam looked at me and I realised how close we were. If I leaned in a little closer, we'd be kissing.

"Fuck off," Sam spat.

"No," I growled, my face now closer to hers, our lips were practically touching and our chests were pressed up against each other's. "Tell me what the fuck is going on."

"No!" Sam yelled, wriggling out of my grasp and she went into one of my liquor cabinets.

"Goddamit, Puckett, put the alcohol back!" I hollered, taking it off her. "You wanna depend on it whenever things get tough? Become addicted to and turn into an alcohol-" I was cut off by Sam slapping me round the face and tears forming in her eyes.

"Don't you dare say that to me," she said and I saw tears streaming down her face faster than ever. "DON'T YOU DARE!"

"Don't slap me!" I fired back. "I'm not your punch bag!"

"SHUT UP!" Sam shrieked, her hands flying to her hair and she fell onto the wall, sobbing uncontrollably.

What do I do? She was crumbling? She seemed so...I didn't know.

"Sam..." I whispered, approaching her.

"Don't touch me!" she cried.

"What's going on? You need to give me some answers!" I exclaimed and Sam turned to face me.

"You wanna know why I left Kyle?! Why I've been so...unlike myself?!" she screamed, hitting my chest. "BECAUSE HE'S A FUCKING ALCOHOLIC AND ABUSES ME! AND MAYBE I JUST WANTED TO FORGET!"

Sam then broke down, falling into my chest crying and I wrapped my arms around her.

Oh my god.

He was an alcoholic and hurt Sam? He HURT Sam? His wife?!

"And I got tired of it when it went to far and I know getting drunk was bad but I couldn't take it! He's in my head and...and..." Sam then began to choke back sobs and I couldn't breathe myself. This was a lot to take in.

I led the shaking blonde to the couch and sat her down, cupping her face and wiping her tears.

"I'm here," I told her. "And I'm never gonna hurt you."

Sam didn't reply, she just stared at me with those big beautiful eyes. I kissed her forehead and held her in my arms.

"Sam, you're gonna get some sleep now and we're gonna talk when you wake up and when you're sober."

"Don't be mad at me," she slurred, her eyes drifting.

"No, I'm not. I'm mad at Kyle," I said honestly.

"Kyle gets mad at me. He'd hurt me sober too. Only once though. But he went too far then. And afterward he told me I deserved it and slept with me. I left that night." It was like she was talking to herself. She looked so removed. So not Sam.

"What did he do?" I asked in a low voice. Sam detangled herself from my arms and laid down on the couch, lifting up her top where I saw a big gash on her stomach. It looked under two weeks old. I gawped at it, lifting my hand and trailing my fingertips across it. Sam didn't wince, she just stared at me.

"He stabbed me. Sober."

"Why?" I asked.

"I told him I was done. He got angry," Sam explained and I nodded, swallowing a lump in my throat and I bent down, looking up at Sam before kissing the wound on her stomach.

"He's never gonna hurt you again," I promised her. "I'm here."

Sam nodded, pulling her top down and I sat beside her. I held her close to me and laid back on the couch with Sam cuddled up next to me. She buried her head in my neck like she used to. It was her favourite place. I kissed the top of her head and I felt her tight muscles relax.

I stroked her hair and soon enough, she fell asleep. I lay awake, furious. I never liked Kyle but I never thought he'd do this. It was one thing to be addicted to alcohol but another to abuse your wife to the extent where you would stab her, sober.

After a while, the anger was replaced with worry for Sam. This must be fucking her up. And I said she treats me like her punchbag and I said she might turn into an alcoholic. God, I'm an ass.

A few hours later, Sam woke up again.

"Ugh, my head," she groaned, looking up at me. "How drunk was I?"

"Very," I replied. "Stay there. Let me get you some aspirin and coffee."

Sam moved so I could stand up and she laid back down. I looked back at her and went over to the coffee machine.

She must be feeing crap, I thought as I poured the coffee into a mug, bringing it over to Sam as well as the aspirin.

"You remember anything?" I asked her, brushing her hair out of her face as I handed her the coffee.

"I told you," she said in a monotone and I nodded.

"Yeah," I sighed. "Sam...I'm...so sorry. I wish I could've been there."

Sam shrugged. "I never saw it coming. Work was stressing him out and he started drinking. Pretty soon that was what he would only do. The first time he hit me I thought I was pregnant. I wasn't but he got mad and hit me, making my lip bleed. But I forgave him. I always do."

I didn't reply, just leaned my head on Sam's shoulder. "You know you'll never have to live through that again. I'm here for you, Sam."

"I know," she replied. "But I can't trust you. I can't trust anybody."

"I understand. Now...talk to me. How did it make you feel?" I asked her and Sam faced me, putting the coffee down.

She shook her head and started crying all over again. "I loved him so much! I thought we'd be together forever but he...he changed and it hurt so bad! I felt used and shitty. Husbands aren't supposed to do this!"

"No," I shook my head, caressing her cheek. "They're not."

Sam winced. "Don't."

I stared at her and we remained looking at each other like that for a while until she pushed me onto my back, attacking my lips with hers. I was taken aback at the fierceness of her lips. I missed them so much. The softness of them, the power of them and how every kiss made me weak. She tasted so good.

I groaned as I felt her pelvis thrust into mine as she straddled me and her hands went under my shirt. The familiar sparks radiated throughout my body. She was an intoxication. After all these years, I still felt like this.

But I realised this was wrong. I was taking advantage of her. I pulled away from her and she stared at me, trying to kiss me again but I wouldn't allow it.

"No," I told her.

"Take my mind off it, please," she begged.

"You're vulnerable."

"I'm not! I want you, don't you want me?"

"Not like this," I answered, sitting up, with Sam in my lap and I kissed her forehead. "Let me fix you first."

"Please," she begged again but I shook my head. "You need to talk to me."

"I've told you everything. I have."

"No you haven't. I know you haven't. You're forgetting I know you. I know what you need to help you. So...let it out, Sam. Let it all out," I told her and her lip quivered.

She then began crying and buried her face in my chest, sobbing into my shirt.

"He...he treated me like a doll!" she cried. "He ripped my heart out and stomped all over it! I hate it! I HATE HIM!"

It broke my heart listening to this. KNOWING this. Someone had done this to Sam.

"Why, Freddie?! Why? Everyone I love leaves! Everyone I love stops caring! I lost YOU, AND NOW KYLE! Why?!"

"I don't know," I whispered, kissing the top of her head and holding her closer to me. "I really don't know. But you haven't lost me. You'll never lose me. I'm here."

"I wanted you," she said softly, looking at me and staring into my eyes. "Each time he hurt me, I thought about you. I never got over you and I wanted you. I knew you would never hurt me. I wanted somebody! Carly, you, even Spencer! I couldn't tell anybody! For a year I put up with it!"

"You'll never have to again," I said firmly, holding her close to me. "Never."

"Freddie..." she gasped, gripping my shoulders.

"I'm here," I said. "I'm here. I'm not leaving and I'm never going to hurt you. I promise."

"Freddie don't leave me."

"Never," I assured the shaking girl. "Never."


	9. Falling Asleep On A Stranger

**Thank you for the reviews and reads. Means so much! Hope you enjoy...**

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

I felt like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt so much better. I had drunkenly told Freddie about the real Kyle and he'd done nothing but help me. In fact, he took off this week from work to spend time with me. Of course, I had recurring nightmares but Freddie would rush into his room and soothe me and then we'd end up falling asleep together. He'd been great. He wouldn't force me to talk but sometimes I would talk and I felt so comfortable with him.

I wasn't cool with the idea of Freddie knowing but now I feel better and I suppose it wasn't so bad. Freddie was perfect with the situation. And it made me feel something even more for him.

This fresh start, it was a great idea but I knew Freddie would find out after I ran into him. It wasn't so bad. He helped me. We talked every night and I felt safe with him. Like no harm to come to me because I had my best friend.

Kyle was still in my head, but when I was hanging out with Freddie, he left for a little while. Freddie made me laugh, made me smile and made me forget. Better than any drink could. But like any old alcohol, there was something addicting about him. I yearned to wake up crying just to feel his strong arms wrap around my tiny frame and hold me like that until I calmed down. He'd kiss my forehead and stay with me. I wanted that.

There was something so crazy about him. I wanted him to rest his forehead against mine and I wanted to see that smirk I loved on his face. I wanted him to roll over in bed, throw his arm over me and kiss my neck. Two months ago, I was with Kyle and now I wanted Freddie. But the truth hit me hard...I always wanted Freddie. He was my imperfect lover yet just so right. We fit each other. It was so right. I wanted my lips to melt into his and I wanted to feel him pressed close to me.

I wanted him. Period.

I rolled over in bed, crashing onto more mattress. That was weird. Last night I was woken up from a nightmare and Freddie came in to calm me down and I remembered us falling asleep together. Like every other night.

I opened my eyes and sat up, looking around the room and frowning.

"Freddie?" I called, rubbing my eyes and I saw the bedroom door open and Freddie walked in, sitting on the bed.

"Hey," he smiled, brushing my hair out of my face. I wondered if he knew how I felt. I wondered if he felt the same!

"Hi," I replied, trying to keep my cool, but the idea of Freddie staring at me like this whilst I'm wearing my pyjamas, messy hair and no make up made me crazy.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked.

"Better after you came in," I lamely replied. Shit. Did I say that out loud?

Freddie simply chuckled, laying on the bed next to me and propping up on his elbows.

"Thinking about stuff?" he questioned and I shrugged.

"Trying not to. He's still there though. It's so weird. I can't...ugh. He went from being perfect to...a monster," I responded but didn't want to vent all over again. I just wanted Freddie to hold me. Instead, I laid down next to Freddie, on my side.

"He's not gonna hurt you," he assured me, cupping my face with one hand. "I'm gonna protect you."

I covered his hand with mine and smiled. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I-nevermind."

I frowned. "What?"

"Nothing," he said quickly, standing up. "You want breakfast?"

Changing the subject, Benson. But I went along with it. I didn't want to make things awkward.

"Yeah," I replied, throwing back the covers and standing up.

Freddie and I looked at each other for a moment and I tentatively walked towards him. I put my arms around his waist, resting my cheek against his chest. Freddie's arms went around me and I felt so safe. Like no harm could ever come to me again.

The way our bodies just fit was indescribable. I never wanted to let go.

We stood here for a few minutes until I looked up at him and unwillingly pulled away.

"Thank you. Just...let me thank you. Please," I said and Freddie nodded.

"You're welcome," he replied and I put my hand on his shoulder, kissing his cheek.

"Breakfast?" I asked him as I pulled away.

Freddie nodded and the two of us walked into the kitchen. I jumped up, sitting on the breakfast bar as Freddie made breakfast.

"I'm no professional cook but this has gotta count for something," Freddie said, handing me a plate of bacon and eggs.

"I'm sure you can't ruin bacon," I said, smirking and digging into the food, Freddie's eyes on me the whole time.

I avoided eye contact. Did he feel the same about me, was that why he was being awkward?

We ate our breakfast in silence and I put my plate in the sink, going back into the bedroom to get changed.

Was I really falling this hard for Benson?

**~New York~**

**General POV**

"Seattle," Kyle announced.

He and Alex were at his apartment discussing how to get Sam back. Kyle hadn't come clean about his alcoholism and wasn't going to. In Alex's eyes, KYLE was the victim. But he was guilty as they got.

"Why?" Alex asked his friend.

"Freddie Benson lives there," Kyle explained and Alex nodded.

They'd spent the whole week thinking about how to find Sam. It was weird how they didn't come up with Seattle before. Kyle's blood boiled thinking about Freddie. How he was with her right now probably. He was probably out there, sleeping with her and the thought sickened him. But not like how what Kyle did to Sam sickened Freddie.

"Are you sure he'll be there?" Alex asked and Kyle nodded.

"Yes," he said firmly, standing up. "We're going to Seattle and we're going to find my goddamn wife."

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

"AHH!"

I sat up from the couch, rubbing my forehead as I heard Sam scream out in her sleep yet again. I knew it wasn't her fault. It was that rat bastard.

I trudged into my bedroom and rushed to Sam, holding her close to my chest and she gripped onto my shoulders, crying into my pyjama top.

"It's just a dream," I whispered.

"It hurt. It felt so real," she said softly and liked up at me with glossy eyes. "He's coming for me. I can feel it. He'll hurt me again. I'm putting you in danger and-"

"No," I growled, pushing Sam onto her back. "He's NEVER going to hurt you, Samantha." Sam raised her eyebrows at the sound of her full name. "I don't care about the risks. You come first. And he's not touching you."

"I...I know it," Sam argued and I kissed her forehead.

"I'm gonna keep you safe. And protect you. I swear," I promised but Sam shook her head. I pulled down her spaghetti strap top to reveal Sam's shoulders. She had a few bruises on them. I kissed them.

I kissed the tiny little scar beside Sam's lips, even though I wanted to kiss those too. I then moved down to Sam's legs, which were revealed by her shorts.

I kissed the scars on her thighs and up her arm. There was one on on the side of her head and I kissed her there too.

Next I lifted up Sam's tank top, revealing the worst scar of all. I stared at it and pressed my lips to it, my mouth lingering for a little while.

"You're safe with me," I promised her, my voice still muffled.

"No," she whispered and I pulled away from her stomach, meeting her gaze.

"Yes," I said. "If he comes anywhere near you I'll kill him."

"I can't do this to you. Put you in danger because it's not fair on you," Sam argued and I shook my head.

"I don't care," I hissed, my face inches from hers. "He's not gonna hurt you. No one will, not while I'm here."

"Freddie..." Sam breathed and I could almost taste her hot breath with the minimal distance between our lips.

"Shh," I hushed her. "I've got you."

I then captured Sam's lips with mine, my lips moving slowly against hers and she kissed back, her lips tasting amazing. This felt like heaven. I need her to know I wasn't going to let her hurt anymore.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," I whispered as I kissed her neck.

"No...please don't stop," she whimpered, gripping my hair.

I didn't. I kissed all over her body and I trailed my fingertips over her lips before kissing them again.

No one would hurt her. No harm will come to her. Not ever.

I used one arm to scoop under Sam's upper body and lifted her closer to me. She kissed me with more passion and her hand went under my chin, her thumb brushing over my stubble.

I hooked a hand under her leg and she flipped us over, straddling me and I glided my tongue over her bottom lip. She granted entrance and I moaned at the taste. It had been too long since we kissed like this. Since I'D kissed like this. I missed her so much. I never wanted her to leave me. She was going to be mine. I let her to too easily before.

Was this too early? Was Sam still hurting? I didn't want to take advantage. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me, how I'd be there and how I'd protect her. No harm was coming to my Sam. Not while I'm here.

I slipped my hands under her shirt and felt the sparks rush up through my fingertips. That spark of her soft skin was still there. Did she feel the same?

Sam ran her fingers through my hair and pressed her chest against mine. I pulled away to look at her, caressing her cheek.

"You want this?" I asked her softly.

"I do. I want you. Please," she replied.

I kissed her again.


	10. She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

I woke up next to Freddie, naked and thoughts of last night came flooding back to me. I blushed thinking about it. It was nothing like how it used to be with Kyle. With Freddie, it felt like home. Like it was just right. I thought back to how it felt. How his hands were everywhere, how he looked at me with such love. I looked up at his beautiful face and smiled. My lips brushed across his and his brown eyes opened, settling on me.

"Hey you," he smirked.

"Hey," I grinned, throwing my leg over his waist. "Sleep well?"

"Very well. You?"

"Mmhmm," I smiled, kissing him again. Freddie kissed me back, his hand on my back and mine went to his cheek, brushing my thumb across his handsome stubble.

This felt so good. I felt so safe with him. I kissed him with more intensity, just to feel the softness of his lips move against mine in a fiery passion. I straddled him in his lap and he ran his hands up my bare back. I moaned at our chests rubbing against each other's and he fell back onto the bed.

The kisses toned down now and our lips simply moved in sync as Freddie caressed my cheek. I pulled away to smile at him and he smirked at me, capturing my mouth again with another kiss. He kissed the corner of my mouth and my nose, my cheeks and forehead, practically kissing all over my face until he reached my swollen lips again.

My arm went around his neck and my free hand went to his thick brown hair, running my fingers through it. I tugged on it a little and I felt him moan in pain/pleasure. We then changed positions so we were laid on our sides and Freddie kissed my neck as I played with his hair. He then crawled on top of me and my hand went to the back of his neck as he kissed over my collarbone. I couldn't help but moan as he did so.

Freddie then flicked his eyes up to lock with mine and we stared at each other like that for a while. He had eyes full of love and lust but there were hints of protectiveness in there. I cupped his face, sitting up and kissing him again. He pushed me back down and ran his fingers through my messy hair.

Freddie pulled away from me and kissed me again before opening his mouth to speak. "You okay?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "I feel good. You...helped," I replied lamely and Freddie smiled.

"Glad I could help," he said, kissing me again.

I don't know what it was or what brought it on but being with him like this made me think why I ever let him go. He was so handsome, so sweet, so sexy, so hardworking and more. True, we bickered like cat and dog but I loved that. My hands raked down his back and he bit my lip making me groan.

I grabbed onto Freddie's biceps and arched my body. Kyle, in bed, was all for being inside me and that would be that. Freddie would take his time. Even though we only had sex twice. It was like the pre sex and the post sex was just as good. But not AS good.

I pulled away from him and smirked. "So, last night?"

"So good," Freddie replied, kissing me. "So good. You're beautiful you know that?"

I blushed. Kyle would call me sexy or hot but never beautiful. Not like Freddie did.

"You don't regret it?"

"No," he responded firmly. "Do you?"

"No," I answered honestly and we kissed again.

We didn't even care about the morning breath. I threw my arm around Freddie's neck, pulling us closer together and I nibbled on his lip. I ran my hands up his bare chest and up to his shoulders.

"Mm, Freddie," I said, our lips separating.

"Yeah?" he replied, kissing me again.

"What...what does this...what are we?" I asked, stuttering a little.

"What do you mean?" he question, looking at me, his fingers trailing over my flustered face.

"Well...we did...we slept together. And now we're making out like we just got engaged. That's gotta mean something," I explained.

"Do you want it to mean something?" Freddie asked, his fingers still on my face and I felt my stomach fill with butterflies with the way he looked at me. Our faces were really close and I could feel his lips against mine as he talked.

Could I tell him my feelings? I wasn't good with the idea of that and I was so afraid that if I did tell him then he'd leave. Everyone I love leaves.

"Do you?" I said instead.

Freddie sighed, pulling back a little. Dammit, Sam! He sat up and rested his back against the headboard, running one hand through his hair. I sat up too, clutching the blanket to my chest.

"Sam...I...I don't want you to feel afraid because I know when someone says this to you, you do. You feel like you...you feel like they'll leave or they're screwing you over and I know considering things with Kyle, it's...look, he told you he loves you and he hurts you. I don't want you thinking I'll hurt you too."

My brow furrowed and Freddie leaned forward, pushing me onto my back and coming on top of me, his face touching mine.

"I'm in love with you, Sam Puckett," he breathed and I let out a gasp. "I never got over you. I've always loved you and seeing you again, having you back in my life has doubled those feelings. I didn't just sleep with you because I was horny. I didn't agree to take you in because I'd feel bad leaving you in a motel. I did it because I love you. Okay, I probably would've taken you in anyway but I mean it Sam. I know Kyle tells you he loves you but you know I'd never hurt you and I won't. I love you so much, Sam."

I couldn't speak. I just stared up at him. He loved me. Freddie Benson LOVES me! I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out so instead I grabbed him by the back of his head and kissed him.

"Me too," I simply said.

"Sam..." he whimpered.

"Freddie...I...I wish I could say it back to you but..."

"You don't feel the same," Freddie finished.

I do!

"I'm trying not to. Please don't force me. I wanna be with you, I do. I just can't say 'I love you' because...I'm just scared...but I...do."

"I understand. Take your time. But you know how I feel," Freddie said.

"So are we...together?"

"If that's what you want."

Instead I smiled widely and grabbed Freddie's chin, kissing him with as much passion and lust I could muster.

The boy just GOT me. He didn't call me a pussy for not telling him I loved him and he respected that I couldn't. And he flat out told me he was in love with me.

"Okay," Freddie said, pulling away from me. "You want some breakfast? I think my lips are about to fall off," he chuckled.

"Sorry," I grinned.

Freddie then kissed my forehead and stood up, throwing on his pyjama pants.

"Stay here," he said and he walked off into the kitchen. When he was gone, I rolled over and sighed happily, grinning like an idiot. Freddie and me made love. Freddie and me are together. Freddie LOVES me! This was the first time in so long where I actually felt happy. I wasn't even thinking about my EX husband now.

I laid there, thinking about last night and I smiled. I trailed my fingertips across my lips, remembering how Freddie kissed me, the way each kiss was masterful and meant something. Freddie kissed every one of my scars he could see from Kyle. It made me feel safe. It was like he was kissing the pain away. Freddie had a talent for making the pain go away.

When we were first dating, I remembered creeping into his bedroom one night crying and getting into his bed. He woke up and held me all night, asking me what's wrong. I told him my mom was being a bitch and he made me feel better. I stayed with him and I forgot about my mom for a little while.

And now he could still make me feel better.

I felt a warm tear fall from my eye but I wasn't sad or angry. I was happy. And that newfound feeling which I hadn't felt in so long felt pretty damn amazing.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

Wow. Last night.

I grinned to myself. Sam and me made love and it was so amazing. I missed her so much and last night proved to me just how much. The last and first time we slept together, we fought and she left and I never saw her again until her wedding. But I realised that now, she isn't going anywhere. I would protect Sam and she was now mine. I'd make her forget Kyle, I'd treat her like a princess and never let any harm come to her again.

And then I confessed I loved her. I wasn't planning to but she had to know how I felt. And she loved me too. Okay she didn't SAY it but she didn't need to. She implied she did and I could tell. She looked at me the same way she used last night and this morning. And the past few days. But I always looked at her like that.

Sam was just so beautiful, even with her scars. I kissed over every single one of them, trying to make her feel safe. I love her so much. Her eyes were the bluest blue in the history of blue and her hair was as soft as silk, not to mention her pink pouty lips which felt so good against mine. Her body was curvy and thin at the same time and beyond the physical aspects, she was also perfect. Her personality was feisty and fun, always keeping me on my toes and making me laugh. I loved her for all those reasons and it really did make my blood boil how someone could HURT her.

I'd never lay a finger on Sam. I wouldn't even force her to kiss me if she was against it.

I put the pancakes on a plate and went back into my room where Sam was, wearing my oversized sweatshirt. Damn she looked sexy in my clothes.

"Ooh, pancakes," Sam commented as I slid into my bed next to her and I threw an arm around her as we ate. She ate her breakfast, snuggling into my chest and I smiled down at her. I wondered how badly she was hurting. Was she still hurting? Was it getting easier?

"Sam?" I asked her after we'd eaten and I put the plate on my bedside table, looking at her.

"Yeah?"

"Are you seriously okay?"

"Freddie..."

"Sam, please, just...are you?" I asked her again softly, cupping her face with one hand and she nuzzled against it.

"Yeah...I am," she answered. "I'm not thinking about him and I'm not because...I have you."

Sam scooted towards me and kissed me softly. I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame and smiled against her lips. I glided my tongue along her bottom lip and she granted entrance, allowing me to explore her mouth.

She then ran her hands up my bare chest and I felt myself get flustered when one of her hands accidentally grazed across my package. Sam then crawled into my lap and began to grind into me and I groaned in pleasure.

"Baby..." I purred as she kissed my neck.

"Baby huh?" Sam smirked.

"Mmhmm," I replied, flipping her over and attacking her lips with my own but I frowned when Sam pulled away from me.

"I need a shower," she announced, getting off the bed and leaving me hanging.

"Really Sam?" I called and she grinned, taking off the shirt she was wearing and throwing it at me.

"No peeking," she teased and closed the bathroom door behind her. I smirked to myself, rolling my eyes and flopping onto the bed. The bed smelt of Sam and I took in her perfect scent. I sure hoped she was able to get through this Kyle stuff.

I could hear the shower running and thoughts filled my mind. Sam...naked...showering. True, I'd seen her naked but it's not like I showered with her or seen her in the shower. I yanked off my pyjama pants and went into the bathroom, opening the shower curtain, catching Sam off guard. Damn she looked sexy. Wet hair with water dripping down her perfect body.

"Benson!" she scolded.

"Couldn't help it," I murmured, getting into the shower, picking Sam up and slamming her into the wall, kissing her. Sam's legs were around my waist and I groaned in pleasure. Girl was gonna be the death of me.

**~Seattle~**

**General PO****V**

Seattle literally had Spencer, his wife and Marissa in it. No Freddie Benson. Kyle and Alex had spent all day tracking down Sam or Freddie but didn't succeed. It seemed neither of them were here, or they were hiding too well. Kyle was furious. But he wasn't giving up.

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

"I don't know," I sighed. "It's like I was married to another person," I said, looking at Freddie. We were laid in bed after our very...intense shower session. I was laid on my stomach whilst Freddie rubbed my back with one hand as he was on his side to listen to me.

"How did you cope? I mean...you had no one to talk to," Freddie asked, kissing my bare shoulder.

"I didn't. I don't even know."

"It's over now," Freddie assured me, throwing his arm over my body.

"I know," I replied, smiling up at his beautiful face. "You're amazing," I said kissing him.

"You're pretty amazing too, Miss Puckett," Freddie smirked, rolling over and running a hand through my hair, looking down at me. I looked up at him, my fingers going to his hair.

"I still feel like I'm angry."

"You will be. But keep talking to me. And you'll feel better soon," he said.

"He's gonna try and find me," I whimpered.

"If he does, I'll protect you."

"I don't know what he's capable of," I whispered. "I don't want you getting hurt."

"Yeah well, when someone hurts someone I love, I don't even know what I could be capable of. But bottom line is, I'm going to protect you and you are safe with me, baby."

"Tell me you love me," I pleaded.

"I love you so much," he breathed, kissing me.

"Call me 'baby'."

"My sweet baby, I love you. I'm gonna protect you until I die, you know that."

"I'm so glad I have you," I commented, my arms going around his neck and pulling him to me. He rested his head on my chest as I played with his thick brown hair.

"I'm so glad I have you too," he murmured. "I love you."

"I know."


	11. Kissing In Cars

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

"Sam?" I sat up in bed, my eyes opening when I found the bed empty. Ugh where was Sam?! I wanted her in bed, where we could snuggle until noon. I groaned, rolling over in bed. Standing up, I pulled on my boxers and rubbed my eyes, sighing.

I left the bedroom, going into the kitchen where I found Sam in my sweatshirt cooking up a storm with her back faced to me. I approached her, my arms going around her from behind as I kissed her neck.

"Whatcha making?" I asked, my chin resting on her shoulder.

"Breakfast," she replied, looking up at me and smiling.

"Smells good," I commented, leaning down to kiss her. "You wanna go out today?" I asked her, leaning against the counter.

"Where?"

"Wherever you wanna go," I responded. "I could take you to see the Golden Gate Bridge," I offered.

"Sure," Sam replied. "And isn't San Francisco meant to be full of amazing restaurants?"

"That it is. Maybe one day you could have your own here."

"Maybe," Sam said softly.

I gave her a sympathetic smile, rubbing her arm up and down with my hand. As much as she was right about leaving New York she really was heartbroken about leaving her restaurant.

After the two of us had eaten breakfast and gotten ready, I dropped Sam off at the café before I had to go to work.

"I'll pick you up just after three, that okay?" I said to her, parking outside the café.

"Yeah, sure," she replied and I leaned in to kiss her.

Sam's arms went around my neck and she pulled me closer to her. I moaned against her mouth, grabbing her waist to steady myself, my other free hand tangling in her hair.

We must have been kissing like that for a while and even though I needed to get to work and Sam needed to get to her work too, neither one of us wanted to pull away. I caressed her cheek, pulling away to take in her beautiful face. I twirled a strand of her hair around my finger and she smiled at me. I captured her lips with mine again and she smiled against my mouth.

"I love you," I breathed in between kisses.

Sam gripped onto my shirt, her back arching as I leaned over her. But just like that she pulled away.

"I'll see you," she smiled, fixing her hair.

"Yeah," I replied, dazed and she flashed me a dazzling smile before opening the car door and rushing into her work.

I grinned to myself, leaning back in my seat, regaining my breath as I practically lost all my oxygen. I really hoped this was it now. Sam was mine and I was hers and we'd be happy. I hoped Kyle would know what's best and stay away but Sam was still so afraid. I didn't blame her, she must have gone through hell and being alone too must have made it worse. I know it would take some time to gain the real Sam back, but I was willing to put in the time.

I started up the engine and began to drive to work. If Kyle was to come back and find Sam, then no way in hell was he going to hurt her. I couldn't bare the thought of Sam facing him again. I knew he was bad news. I just didn't know he'd go this far. Abusing your wife! It was disgusting! I wanted to KILL Kyle. But so far, he hadn't bothered Sam. I bet he was too drunk to even get up and find her. It was his own fault anyway.

Arriving to work in the nick of time, I ran through the double doors of Pear HQ and sped down the halls going to my office. Clare was in there, arranging my files and she looked up when I walked in.

"Where've you been?" she smirked as I sat in my chair, breathlessly.

"Nowhere," I responded.

"Oh come on, you skipped work all last week due to 'personal problems' and now you're practically late looking all breathless with...make out hair. Who is she?"

"Seriously, Clare? What have you been drinking?" I questioned, logging onto my computer.

"I think the question is, who have you been banging?" Clare shot back and I glared at her. "Seriously? You look all flustered and I don't know...happier. I can tell. It's a girl and it's not just any girl." Clare paused. "She came back huh?"

Since Clare was not only my personal assistant, but close friend, she knew all about the famous Sam Puckett.

"Uh huh," I replied, typing away, my eyes glued to the computer screen.

"Thought she was married."

"Was. She and her husband split up. He was an asshole and I found her in San Fran a while back. I invited her to come stay with me and now we're together," I explained and Clare's eyebrows rose.

"Congrats," she smiled. "I know how much she means to you."

"Thanks," I said, looking back at her.

"Oh...uh...so you in a good mood then?"

"Yeah, so don't ruin it," I taunted and Clare bit her lip. I looked up at her. "What?"

"It's your old girlfriend, Alexa. She called a few times in the past week and actually came up here. She really wants you back," Clare told me and I groaned. I thought she left me alone for a while but I guess not.

"She doesn't stop. I don't want her," I grunted.

"Tell that to her," Clare muttered and then paused. "You want some coffee, you look like you've been up all night?"

"Yeah, thanks," I said.

"Certain somebody keeping you up?" Clare teased winking as she was about to leave.

"Clare!" I yelled as she left, laughing.

I went back to my work whilst she was gone, thinking about Sam. I wanted to take her out after work today and romance her. I wanted to talk, but not about Kyle. About how New York was when she first moved and things like that. I just wanted her to have a good night. Only a moment later, I heard my phone ring and without looking at the caller ID, I picked it up, holding it between my ear and shoulder, still typing away.

"Hello?" I called into it.

_"Hey, Freddie," _I heard Alexa's flirty voice.

"Alexa, you need to stop calling. I don't want you anymore."

_"Can't we just try again?" _she pleaded.

"No," I said firmly.

_"Why not?"_

"I'm with someone else," I simply stated and she was quiet for a while.

_"Oh..."_

"Alexa, you're a great girl but not the right girl for me, I'm sorry. You'll find someone, just stop harassing me please," I said as politely as I good without snapping.

_"But...I want you."_

"Alexa, please. I'm happy and don't like you like that. I love someone else."

_"You love her?"_

"Very much."

_"I see."_

"Alexa, you-" But she ended the phone call and I rolled my eyes, slamming the phone back on the table just as Clare re-entered my office and placed the coffee on my desk. "Alexa just called."

"What she say?" Clare asked.

"She wants to try again but I told her I'm with someone else. Maybe this time she'll listen," I responded.

"Maybe."

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

"Table seven," Gracie told me, handing me a tray of food and I took it in my hand, walking over to the table.

Today the café was pretty empty with the exception of only a few people. The staff here were really nice and invited me with open arms. Sure, I missed owning a restaurant but I was okay with this. Like Freddie said, baby steps.

Speaking of Freddie, things were so amazing between us. He made me feel so safe and happy. It was like Kyle never happened. Sure, I thought of him but I talked to Freddie almost every night or whenever I was thinking about him. I never liked talking but sometimes I didn't need to. Freddie just got me. He made me feel seventeen again. I wasn't sure whether I just had strong feelings for him or if I loved him. I couldn't say the dreaded L-word yet though.

After work, he was taking me to see the Golden Gate Bridge and then we were going to eat and walk around. I really hoped him and me lasted a really long time.

"So, what's up with you? You walked in with a big grin on your face," Tina pointed out as I walked to the counter.

"Nothing," I replied.

"Is it a boy?" Tina asked knowingly.

I blushed thinking about Freddie, and tried to hide it by lowering my head but Tina caught on and smiled widely.

"It is a boy!" she exclaimed.

"Shh," I told her.

"Oh hush up. Who is he?" she gushed.

"An old friend from high school I ran into," I replied.

"Old friend meaning ex boyfriend?"

"Maybe," I muttered. "He said I should stay with him until I got on my feet and I did and we got closer and now we're together."

"Aww," Tina grinned. "So you haven't had a serious boyfriend since high school then?"

"Uh...it's complicated. I did but he's an ass," I lamely replied, not wanting to say anything about having a husband.

"Oh right," she said and I went back to working.

I was behind the counter, writing down the payments for the day.

"Hey you," I heard a familiar voice say and I looked up to see Freddie sitting on a chair in front of me. I smiled up at him and kissed him briefly.

"Hey," I replied and Freddie kissed me again. I kissed back, my hand going to his chin but pulled away, not being a fan of PDA.

"You ready to go?" he asked and I nodded. I took off my apron and grabbed my bag, walking over to Tina.

"Tina, I'm going now," I told her.

"Alright, sweetie. I'll see you soon."

"Bye," I smiled and she got a look at Freddie who was still at the counter, on his phone.

"Is that the boyfriend?" she asked and I nodded. "You better hang onto that one. He's good looking."

"Bye, Tina," I laughed, grabbing my jacket and walking around the counter to Freddie who stood up, taking my hand. "We are going back home right? I'm not going out in this."

"Yeah we are. But you look beautiful anyway," he replied and I blushed as we left the café.

**~New York~**

**General POV**

"Have you found him?!" Kyle exclaimed to Alex who was perched over his laptop.

"All I'm getting is old iCarly references from that webshow he used to be a part of," Alex replied and Kyle let out a loud growl, chucking off a glass from the breakfast bar and watching it smash on the floor.

"Well look harder!" he yelled, drunkenly as he drank from his mug again. Alex thought it was coffee but Kyle was drinking alcohol. He'd been pretty much drunk ever since Sam left.

"I am!" Alex retorted and after a while he got nothing, slamming the laptop screen down frustrated. He leaned back on the couch, eyeing his friend as he downed another mug of 'coffee'.

Kyle had been a basket case in Alex's eyes when really he was drunk. Kyle was a mess and was hell bent on finding Sam and making her pay. Alex just thought he'd want answers.

Alex frowned, standing up and walking over to his friend, taking the mug from Kyle and sniffing it.

"Vodka," he stated. Kyle simply stared back up at Alex who went into the cupboards and grabbed the juice cartons which were yet to be refrigerated. They were full of alcohol. "You've been drinking?"

"Maybe," Kyle slurred. "I drink a lot."

"What do you mean?" Alex asked. Kyle was drunk off his ass, so Alex was soon to get his own answers.

"That's why Sam left. Because I drink and hurt her. She has bad scars."

"You abuse her? You're an alcoholic?" Alex questioned, really confused.

"A little," Kyle croaked out and Alex's blood boiled.

"And you wonder why Sam's gone?! Kyle, you're a fucking screw up! What kind of man does that to his wife?!"

"Piss off," Kyle mumbled and Alex shook his head, laughing.

"Gladly. Have fun finding your wife. I doubt you will and I doubt she'll come back to you." Alex then grabbed his jacket and slammed the front door to a close, leaving a drunken Kyle in a mess.

He stumbled to the couch. If he couldn't call Sam, he'd get in contact with her somehow.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

"This place is so cool," Sam commented as we walked along the street, after going to see the Golden Gate Bridge.

I looked down at Sam; she looked so breathtaking tonight. I had taken her shopping a few days ago since she didn't have all her clothes. She was wearing a dark blue dress which went to above her knees. She also had a pair of ankle boots on and her hair was down and curly as ever. She looked so beautiful.

"Which restaurant do you want to go to?" I asked her and she bit her lip like she was in thought.

"Mexican," she answered.

"Alright," I replied and I led her to a Mexican restaurant. We walked into it and I asked for a table for two. I pulled out the chair for Sam who gave me a look like I was being cheesy but she sat down anyway and I sat opposite her. "This place is meant to be really good."

"Mexican food is always good, Fredwad," Sam said to me.

"Touché," I responded.

The rest of the evening was really great and the two of us talked about everything and nothing, avoiding the topic of Kyle. It seemed culinary school for Sam was great and as soon as she left, she was already planning her restaurant. Sam was a hardworker if she really wanted something and she was undoubtedly smart. During senior year, when we were dating, I pushed her to do well and she ended up flying through the year, surprising all the teachers but I wasn't surprised. I knew my girl was smart.

I told her about my college life and how I ended up working for Pear and being with her felt so natural and real. She wasn't like any other girl. She was my feisty Sam Puckett.

Sam leaned her head on my shoulder, interlocking our fingers as we walked out of the restaurant.

I noticed how she was constantly looking around, like she was afraid of someone in the crowd. I knew exactly who it was though. Kyle.

My arm went around her waist and I brought her close to me. "No one's gonna hurt you, sweetheart."

Sam nodded and then looked up at me. "Sweetheart?"

"You don't like it?" I asked.

"No, I do. I've just never been called that before," she said.

"Well then I'll say it more often, sweetheart," I smirked, kissing her forehead. Sam snuggled into my chest as I held her waist protectively. No harm was coming to my Sam again.

We arrived back at my apartment pretty late and I could honestly say it was the best date of my life. And seeing Sam look so happy was amazing. Her eyes lit up whenever she would talk and her smile was so contagious.

"Thanks for tonight...it was...probably the best date I've ever been on," Sam said, holding my hands and looking up at me.

"That makes two of us," I smiled, leaning down to kiss her and she kissed back intensely, throwing her arms around my neck. I held her waist firmly as we stood there, kissing. I would never get tired of kissing Sam's soft but firm lips. I loved the way they moved against mine and the way they fit against mine.

I lifted Sam up and her legs went around my waist as I pushed her into a wall but not too hard. Sam ran her fingers through my hair and caressed my face, her legs tightening around my waist.

I moaned against her mouth and my hands went up her dress to feel her skin. She squirmed at the touch and nibbled on my lip until I felt her phone go off.

"Dammit," she said, breaking free from my mouth.

I set her down and Sam went to the couch, picking up her clutch bag and grabbing her phone.

"Who texted?" I asked her.

"Email," she responded, reading through it and she dropped her phone on the couch.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I questioned, rushing over to her. She didn't reply, she just stood motionless. "Sam?"

She let out a squeak and her knees buckled. I grabbed her, holding her up and pulling her close to me. What on earth?! Placing Sam on the couch where she still seemed to be in shock, I grabbed her phone.

_Sam, _

_I'll find you and you'll pay. Big time._

_Kyle._

I almost dropped the phone myself. I threw it on the couch and grabbed Sam, pulling her to my chest and stroking her hair.

"No," she whispered. "He's gonna find me."

"He won't," I assured her. "And IF he does, he's not going to touch you. I'm gonna protect you, Sam. I'll keep you safe. He's not gonna hurt you."

Sam grabbed onto me and began to breath in and out deeply. I kissed the top of her head, simply mortified.

No way in hell was that rat bastard hurting my Sam.


	12. (Don't Fear) The Reaper

**Lost the first draft -.- and also, follow me on twitter: PurpleElevators. Hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you all for your reviews, keep them coming yeah? Means so much =D**

**~San Francisco~**

** Freddie's POV**

"No," Sam breathed and I rested my forehead against hers, trying to calm her down.

"Shh," I soothed her when really I was freaking out. How dare this bastard do this to Sam and then scare her like this! I wanted to KILL Kyle!

"He's coming..." she breathed.

"No," I said, my hand going to the back of her head as she cried into my neck, gripping my biceps. I couldn't breathe myself. I had to be strong for Sam though. She needed strength and to know that she was safe.

"Freddie...he's gonna find me," Sam said again, looking at me with misty eyes.

"Even if he does, I'll protect you," I growled, staring into Sam's eyes. "He won't ever touch you again with his filthy hands."

"What if he does?"

"I'll kill him. No one hurts you, Sam."

She didn't look convinced though. I couldn't imagine what was going on in her beautiful head. The email was probably Kyle scaring Sam. He couldn't find her, how could he? He'd be at home, drunk off his ass with no desire to track down his wife due to pure laziness. I needed to make Sam believe me. I needed her to know that with me, she was safe.

"I...I can't do this. He'll hurt you," Sam said.

"No he won't," I replied, pushing Sam onto her back, my face practically touching hers. "I don't know what he's capable of, you've said but I won't let you get hurt. I won't let anyone touch you, Sam. I swear on my grave, you're protected. That man is scaring you. He's trying to get into your head and he's succeeding. Don't let him overpower you."

"I couldn't forgive myself if you got hurt," Sam whispered.

"I couldn't forgive myself if YOU got hurt. Let ME worry about the risks," I fired back.

"Please...you don't know what you're getting yourself into. I can't put you in danger."

"I do know what I'm getting myself into and all I care about is keeping you safe, Sam. You know me. I care about you so much and over my DEAD BODY will he hurt you again," I told her.

"This isn't your battle to fight," she reminded me.

"No. But you're my girl to fight for. Don't argue with me on this baby. You're not gonna get hurt by him. Don't let him. Please. I promise, I'll keep you safe," I said.

Sam shook her head, blinking back tears and she locked her gaze with mine.

"He's too dangerous."

"That's why I'm going to protect you. Sam, I swear, there is no safer place, anywhere, than here with me," I said gently.

"He's gonna find me. He's gonna find us."

"He might. But he's not gonna hurt you."

"How do you know?" Sam questioned, tears streaming down her beautiful face and I wiped them away, kissing her there.

"Because, even if it's the last thing I do, he won't touch you. I've got you. Please, trust me on this, sweetheart," I explained. "Do you trust me?"

I know trust was hard for Sam. She'd never been able to trust before thanks to her upbringing but she trusted me when we were together, then she and I split up and she soon later found Kyle, trusted him and he let her down. I didn't blame her if she didn't trust me. But I had to make her believe that I will stop at nothing to protect her.

"I...do," Sam finally said.

"Then you need to believe me when I say you're safe with me. I'll keep you close to me each day, I'll hold you every second of the day, just please...don't push me away."

Sam nodded stiffly. "I'm so scared," she breathed.

"Me too," I replied honestly.

I saw Kyle once and only once at his and Sam's wedding and I wouldn't say he'd ever do something like this but I knew there was something weird about the guy. I never said anything. How could I? He was Sam's future husband. But now, I never did think he'd do something like this.

I didn't know what he was capable of. I saw the scars all over Sam's body and I kissed them all, but looking at the mark on her stomach, caused by his stabbing whilst he was sober made me realise this man was probably really dangerous.

Even if he was, I wasn't going to let him hurt Sam again. She'd already been through so much and it was my turn to protect her. I wished she never went through it but she did and I'm fixing it. He just needed to stop fucking with her head. And get OUT of her head.

"Why are you doing this? You could get hurt if he finds us," Sam asked quietly and I simply grazed my lips across hers.

"Because I love you," I answered. "And I don't care if I get hurt. If he tries getting into contact with you again and it becomes harassment, we'll call the cops and if he comes down here and tries to hurt you, we'll call the cops as well."

"Freddie...Kyle...he's a lawyer! He can worm his way out of anything. When we first met, he would always be in trouble and never got busted because he'd get out of it. He'll get out of this!"

"If he finds us...and that's a big if because I don't think his drunken ass will, then we'll leave. You and me. We'll grab a plane ticket and get the hell out of the state. We'll leave the country, whatever! As long as you're safe," I offered and Sam pushed me off her, standing up.

"I'm not going to let you ruin your life for me!" she cried. "This is my fight, not yours. You told me tonight how much you love your job and how you love your life here! I'm not going to let you ruin that, Freddie!"

"I love you more," I said honestly, advancing towards her and trying to take her hands but she jerked away from me.

"See, this is why I didn't want you to know about what he did. Because I knew you'd do something like this!" Sam exclaimed, crying.

"Sam...it's an idea. If he comes to us you know you need to get out of here and I'm not leaving you."

"Freddie..." she said weakly and my arms went around her, my hand going to the back of her head and I held her tight.

"You're not alone. You have me."

Sam looked up at me and kissed me briefly. I picked her up, bridal style and carried her to my bedroom, laying her down on the bed.

I laid down next to Sam and kissed her temple.

"Nobody's gonna hurt you, my sweet baby. Nobody," I whispered into her ear and she nodded.

I threw my arm around Sam who was curled up next to me and soon after, I noticed she had fallen asleep due to her shaky breaths being replaced with soft snores. I stroked her hair soothingly and felt a warm tear fall down my face.

It broke my heart knowing that Sam went through all this. She didn't deserve it. Sam was a great person and deserved all the happiness in the world, but instead, she's like a scared little kitten afraid of her husband.

My definition of a husband is a man who treats his wife with love and respect and would love her until they each die. He'd treat his lady like a princess and always make her feel loved, beautiful and young. That was my intention of a husband if I was to ever become one. But Kyle had gotten hold of the best wife out there and stomped all over her heart. He treated her like a fucking ragdoll and hurt her so bad. It was disgusting.

Sam Puckett was strong and feisty but lately I hadn't seen much of that. He'd taken the fire away from my Sam and I hated him for it.

The idea of Kyle doing that to Sam made my blood boil. I dreamt about it. Whilst Sam would have nightmares, I'd have ones of my own as well. I'd end up picturing Kyle slapping Sam around and torturing her. I'd wake up panting and sweating.

I hated it. My Sam went through hell and I wasn't there. I wished she ran away and came to me sooner. She put up with it for a year. I seethed with rage. If this Kyle was to come to San Francisco, then I would fucking give him a piece of my mind and fuck him up for touching Sam.

I doubted he would be here though. If Kyle was as drunk as Sam implied, he wouldn't be able to track her down. He'd be too drunk. I hoped he wouldn't come but like Sam, I still worried.

I was scared shitless too but I needed to be strong for the sake of Sam. She needed me right now.

I looked down at her. She was mumbling in her sleep. I brushed her bangs out of her face and the mumbling got louder.

"Freddie..." she murmured and she didn't sound scared. She sounded okay. I bent down to kiss her on the forehead.

"I'm here, baby," I whispered gently.

Soon after a while, I felt myself fall asleep too, next to Sam. When I woke up the next morning, however, I was alone in bed. Thinking she'd be in the kitchen, I stood up and walked out of my bedroom.

The apartment was empty.

"Sam?" I called but no reply.

I sighed, going over to the breakfast bar where I found a note.

_Thank you for everything but I can't keep putting you at risk. You have a life and I don't want to ruin that. I'm so sorry. I'll never forget what you did and I'll never forget you._

_Sam x_

I re-read the letter a few times, blinking and trying to take it in. But then it hit me.

She'd left.

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

I couldn't do this. Freddie had so much good in his life. He had a great job and a great life in general. All I am is a fuck up who ruins things. I was bringing Freddie into a world where wives got beaten and men got abusive. He didn't need that. His life was perfect before I showed up with my problems.

Of course leaving Freddie was the hardest thing ever. Harder than leaving New York. I never got to tell him I loved him. I was going to write it in the note but saying that is better face to face. Of course, I couldn't now. I just hoped he didn't hate me. He knew deep down that he was better without me. I didn't want him to get involved with me and Kyle. There was too much shit. Freddie didn't do anything to get sucked into this.

I'd snuck out in the morning, grabbing what I could and leaving. I was about to get on a boat and leave to god knows where.

If Kyle found me and Freddie, he'd hurt us both and I couldn't bare Freddie getting hurt. I was doing this for him. I didn't care about me. I cared about him.

His life would be better without me. I'm trouble. That was why I was leaving. It broke my heart but it would break my heart more if Freddie got hurt by Kyle.

I hated Kyle. He ruined everything! I wish I never married him! I wish I never left Freddie eight years ago. But that was over. No going back.

I knew if Freddie found out about Kyle, things would get bad. Of course I knew my husband would try and find me. Freddie didn't deserve to be a part of this.

Freddie said how he would keep me safe and protect me. But this is me protecting him.


	13. The Boy Who Could Fly

**~New York~**

**General POV**

Kyle smirked, staring at his screen when he saw a reply from his wife.

_Leave me alone._

He'd gotten to her. She was so silly. Sam should know better. Kyle was no tech genius but he picked up a few things about finding people. He wasn't too drunk since it was morning but he was hungover and had filled his coffee mug with alcohol.

With the right knowledge, he could track Sam's phone from the reply if he remembered how to do it. He couldn't get anyone else involved. Alex had already left him to do this on his own. But he didn't need anyone.

He was one step closer to finding Sam.

The wind blew furiously through the lonely but loud streets of New York City. The tires of the taxis down below were screeching and the sounds of horns honking were masked by the heavily pouring rain. The sky was miserable and the clouds were crying heavy buckets of water which thrashed over the city.

It was a cold day today. Cold weather wise and cold life wise.

Slamming down another bottle of whiskey, Kyle growled as he failed to track Sam down again but he wasn't giving up. She was going to be his again and she was going to pay.

_The little bitch is gonna be sorry when I get my hands on her,_ Kyle thought to himself, punching through the keys on his laptop.

The pitter patter of the raindrops outside Kyle's apartment infuriated him. Any little sound made him so angry. He slammed his fist on the table and let out a loud yell which shook the room. Kyle marched over to a wall, throwing his fist into it and because of the drunken mess he was in, he wasn't able to feel the pain.

He was numb. Kyle was a wreck and he knew it. What did he have left? He lost wife and was losing his pride and everything to alcohol but he still let it consume him.

It had changed him. Him and Sam had everything and were so happy but that was all over. She was with Freddie, he could feel it. She had moved on and he was here, drinking himself into an early grave.

Kyle sank to the floor, wallowing in self pity and began weeping, realising the monster he'd become.

The bad thing wasn't that he WAS monster, but it was that he couldn't stop being one.

He wiped his face and stood up, walking over to the laptop and clicking a few buttons. Within a few minutes, he smiled in satisfaction.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

Why'd she do this? Why would she do this to me? Sam had left! She'd packed up her things and left. Of course, I knew why. She felt as if she was putting me in danger. But she didn't realise that I wanted to protect her. I couldn't bare the thought of Sam being out there and Kyle hell bent on tracking her down.

I knew she was scared but...god I thought she trusted me! I had to find her. Now. No way was I letting her go this easy again. I grabbed my jacket, not caring that I looked a mess and that I was in my clothes from last night. I rushed down the halls, and sprinting out of my apartment building.

I looked around in panic. San Francisco was so busy. I didn't know whether Sam left only a little while ago or hours ago. She could be in another state by now! I took a deep breath, regaining my composure and running around, trying to find her.

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

I ran through the busy crowds on the pier, my hood up and sunglasses on to prevent anyone spotting me. Or rather Freddie and Kyle. I looked around the busy place. I couldn't spot the men I was running from luckily but I was paranoid they were there. If Kyle found me I was a dead woman. If Freddie found me, we were both dead.

I accidentally bumped into a man as I sped across the dock.

"Sorry," I said.

"Miss, are you okay?" he asked and I didn't reply, I just turned on my heel, running off.

My heart was pumping and I was so scared. I could hear chatter around me but I tried to remain focused. I NEEDED to get out of here. I didn't know where, but I needed to.

I gasped slightly at the long line to the desks to board the boats. I looked around, taking deep breaths. Were they out there?

I had replied to the email Kyle had sent to me, telling him to leave me alone. He didn't reply but I could picture him now, laughing at it as he drunk himself silly. I hoped he drunk himself to death!

I gripped onto the hem of my hoodie, trying to fiddle with something as I stood in line, looking around in case Kyle or Freddie was there.

Breathe, I told myself. I needed to get away from here because I was literally about to have a panic attack.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

I buried my head in my hands when I couldn't find Sam. I searched everywhere she could be. I was on the verge of tears. I pulled out my phone, calling her but yet again, no answer. I called again.

"Please, baby," I muttered, tears fogging my eyes. "Answer."

Nothing.

I spotted the café Sam worked in and I ran towards it, pushing the door open and I saw her boss at the counter.

"Hey, do you know if Sam came in here?" I asked, my voice sounding pained.

The woman, named Tina according to her name badge, avoided eye contact and looked down.

"Sorry, no."

I didn't buy it.

"Where is she?" I growled.

"Look, I don't know!" Tina exclaimed.

"You have to...she's in trouble. She left because she didn't want me getting hurt but she's in danger...please...tell me where she is," I stuttered over my words and Tina sighed.

"She came in here few hours ago. She just said she had to leave," Tina confessed.

"Where?!"

"I don't know. She didn't say. Maybe plane, boat, taxi-"

"Thank you!" I interrupted and turned on my heels, leaving the café.

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

I'd been stood in the line for so long; I'd forgotten how long I'd been there. The boat was set to leave in three hours. I left Freddie's three hours ago. At first, I went to Tina, saying my goodbyes and she didn't ask any questions as she could tell I wasn't in the mood to answer them.

I was almost at the check in place and I was so close to getting out of here. I just had to keep hidden and hopefully Freddie or Kyle won't find me.

"So sorry, Miss."

I looked up to see a man approach me and my brow furrowed but then I saw that a little girl had bumped into my leg.

"It's fine," I replied softly and he gave me a small smile, picking up who I predicted was his daughter, and walked away.

I took deep breaths, my palms sweating as I stood in line. I was sweating so bad out of nerves. Or was it this heat and being in a sweatshirt?

My mind was cluttered with thoughts. I wished so bad I could be in bed with Freddie, his arms around me, his lips on me. I sighed, thinking about him. How his kisses made me weak and how he made me lose control. I may never feel that again. I wanted to but in order to keep him safe, I couldn't.

But right now I wished I could kiss him one last time.

And then there was Kyle. I was scared he would track me down somehow. I wanted to be at peace somehow. I blinked back tears and I winced as I thought back to how hard it used to be.

I tried to take my mind off it by thinking about Freddie, but that made me hurt too.

I was a mess.

**~Airport~**

**General POV**

Airports stunk. They smelt of goodbyes, hellos and loss. And of course, the panic of finding someone. That was Kyle. He'd literally bought a last minute ticket and got on a plane and was now stood in a completely new state.

He smirked to himself, proud.

_She thought she could escape me, _he thought to himself. _She's mine now._

Kyle stepped out into the fresh air and took it in. What was that smell? Sweet pleasure. He was going to get Sam and bring her back. And make her pay.

She wasn't going to get away with leaving easily.

And this time, Sam couldn't run.

**~San Francisco~**

I was about to board the boat, thanking god as I did so. I looked around, in fear before I did. This was it.

I clutched my bag with sweaty palms and I took a deep breath.

_"I love you." he breathed kissing me._

_I didn't reply. I just kissed him again, moaning at how our sweaty bodies felt so good and fit perfectly. I caressed his cheek, just where his stubble was._

_Freddie then tangled one hand through my hair and he scooped me up so I could kiss him with more intensity._

_"You're so beautiful," he commented, his lips brushing across mine._

_"I'm not," I argued._

_"Yes you are," he said and laid me back down. Freddie then kissed over my neck, sucking on the skin there and I moaned, gripping his hair and pulling on it. He kissed over my collarbone and down my sensitive body until he reached my stomach._

_He pressed tender kisses all over my nasty scar and our eyes locked as he looked up at me and I looked down at him._

_His brown eyes burned into me. They spoke of protectiveness and it made me feel safe. It was like he was saying he wouldn't allow any harm to come to me. Every chance he could, Freddie kissed over my scar on my stomach. It was a way to show his protectiveness._

_I took his chin in my hands and kissed him again as we fell back on the bed._

My head snapped back to reality. I shook my head. With one last deep breath, I was about to step onto the boat when I felt a strong, what seemed to be male, hand grab my wrist.

"Oh no you don't."


	14. Wonderless

**Literally done nothing but write lately haha. Hope you all are enjoying the story so far. I've got writer's block on my other story You're Not Gone, so I'll be focusing on this a lot more. Thank you all for the reviews, support and reads! If you haven't already, follow my twitter PurpleElevators.**

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

"I told you I'd protect you. I told you; let me worry about the risks! Dammit, Puckett!"

Oh my god, Freddie. I looked up at his beautiful face. Had he been crying? No. He couldn't find me now.

"Let me go," I said softly, yanking my wrist back.

"No," he said, his voice sounding pained. Oh god, this was heartbreaking.

"Please. I can't put you at risk," I urged.

"I don't care. I want to be with you," he argued, pulling me back out of the way of the boarding area to the boats. I looked back there but Freddie grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Don't scare me again. I can't...I love you! Does that not mean anything?! How...I'm going to protect you! You're safe with me!"

I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes. "I didn't want to keep putting you at risk."

"Sam...you always put me at risk," he smirked. "From when we were thirteen and you would always end up getting me involved in your stupid schemes. And even when we were sixteen and you would always get in trouble with the cops. What makes now different? Okay, it's a little more extreme, but I don't care. If I really cared about the risks, I would've let you go. I love you so much. You're my world. I'm telling you," he cupped my face. "You'll be safer than ever with me. There is no other place for you to go. You belong with me, Sam. You always have and you always will."

I couldn't reply as Freddie had already kissed me and my eyes widened at the raw passion of it. I don't think Freddie has ever kissed me like this before. It was desperate, yet full of so much love and passion. He was breathing air into me in a way.

"Please...stay," he breathed.

"Freddie..."

"Please...I love you so much. So, so much." I saw a tear escape Freddie's eye and I gasped softly. "Don't leave. You're safe with me." He kissed me again, this time softly. I kissed back, my arms going around his neck as I dropped my bag and for a while, it was just the two of us in the world. "You're so safe, Sam."

I nodded, kissing Freddie again. What was I thinking? I couldn't leave Freddie. I knew I'd be putting him in danger but it wasn't like he was going to let me go. I didn't want to leave anyway. I wanted to be with him, as scared as I was.

"Don't scare me like that again," Freddie said to me, resting his forehead against mine, pulling the hood of my sweatshirt off so he could run his hand through my hair.

"I'm so sorry," I apologised earnestly.

"It's okay. You're here now," Freddie replied and his arms went around me. He rested his chin on my shoulder, nestling into the side of my head after he kissed my temple.

"Freddie..." I said softly, looking up at him.

"Yeah, baby," he replied, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

I took a deep breath. It's time. I know it. He deserves to hear it. "I love you."

A wide grin spread across Freddie's face and I realised we were both smiling like idiots.

"I love you too," he responded and we kissed again.

I loved the man. I really, really did. I was so happy he found me actually. I just didn't want to feel so scared anymore.

"I'm sorry I took so long to say it," I said in between kisses.

"Doesn't matter. You've said it now," he responded, cupping my face and kissing me softly. I heard the sound of the boat indicating that it was setting off but I didn't turn around and make a run for it. Instead, I wrapped my arms around Freddie's neck and kissed him with as much passion as I had in my body.

"Let's go home," Freddie said to me, taking my hands and I hesitated. "He's not coming, Sam. You're okay."

I nodded stiffly and Freddie kissed me one last time before his arm went around my waist and he picked up my bag. The two of us left the pier and began to retreat back to Freddie's apartment.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," I said, looking up at him.

"It's okay. Don't do it again though. I'll only end up tracking you down," Freddie responded and I smiled, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I just didn't know what to do. Running away seems like my answer to everything," I muttered and Freddie stopped walking.

"Trust me. If anything. Talk to me. Don't run away from me Puckett, you know you can't. You belong with me," he said and I rested my forehead against his.

"Why'd we end things?" I asked him.

"Because we were stupid teenagers," he answered. "But we're not anymore. I know what I want and I want you. Even if you do come with Kyle drama. But I don't care."

My arms went around his tall, muscular body as he hugged me back.

"Sam...what are we gonna do with you?" he sighed and I shook my head.

"I don't know," I sniffled and Freddie grabbed my chin, wiping my eyes and kissing both my cheeks.

"No crying. Okay?"

"I can't help it," I replied, feeling my eyes swell up. "I just feel like he's out there and he's gonna get me. He could hurt you and I'm so scared. I just wish I wasn't scared and...I can't keep living in fear of...of my own husband!"

"Come here," Freddie said gently and he brought me into a warm hug as he kissed the top of my head. "No matter how scared you get, however paranoid, talk to me. I'll make you feel better. Because, sweetheart, he's not touching you. Not while you've got me."

"You're too nice," I mumbled.

"I know," Freddie smirked. "But I'm serious. I'll do anything to help keep you safe, Sam. I love you, remember."

"I love you too." I said it again but this time it wasn't like I was forced to say it, or was saying it to make myself believe I did like with Kyle. I said it because I meant it. I meant it so much.

**~Los Angeles~**

**General POV**

With Kyle so crazy on finding Sam, he rushed into the tracking, mainly due to his alcohol intake, and ended up tracking Sam's old phone. Of course, she'd thrown it somewhere and somehow in a weird way, it had ended up in LA. Kyle, excited that he had found Sam, flew down to the city and was busy trying to find his wife.

The man was stupid in himself, and idiotic. He'd been searching for hours but no sign of Sam. Obviously.

Kyle checked the tracker again. He groaned when he saw 'Sam' move yet again and he finally got too frustrated. He thought he had her. He was convinced that he found her. But no. He hadn't.

Yet that didn't mean he'd be giving up.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

"It's like he's just IN my head and he won't leave. It's...I don't know," Sam sighed leaning back against my chest as I rubbed shampoo into her blonde hair, grabbing a jug of bath water and pouring it over her head.

I'd found Sam and luckily gotten to her before she could board the boat and I convinced her to stay here with me. Where she would be safe. I was certain she would be. I was worried about her though. I desperately wanted her to feel safe with me. I didn't want her feeling like she wasn't protected with me.

And for the first time in eight years, I heard Sam say she loves me. My heart melted at that knowing how hard it was for Sam to express her love, especially now. But she did. Even though she was in so much pain.

I knew she wasn't okay, really. Why would she be? She was abused by her alcoholic husband for a year and he was trying to find her after she ran away. But my Sam was a trooper. She was battling this better than I would have. I suppose talking to me helped. I'd have to get it out of her at first but then she'd just talk and it got things off her chest. I'd listen to every word she would say as I held her close to me or something.

Sam's back was also covered in bruises. It was like she'd been pushed into things a lot. She probably was pushed into things. Doors, corners, sharp objects, and so on. The bruises stood out against Sam's pale skin but I noticed that from the first time I saw her scars and now, they were beginning to fade.

I kissed Sam's bare shoulder, rubbing conditioner into her hair as we both sat in the bathtub.

"It will be like that, Sam. That's perfectly normal. But it's controlling it is the hard part. I know you're strong, Sam," I replied to her.

"I don't feel very strong."

"Well you are," I argued, resting my chin on her shoulder and she looked at me. "You're the strongest person I know. You had an awful childhood and you were so strong to get through that, your mom was a bitch to you and you had your heart broken so many times by so many different people, not to mention this is killing you inside. And you're still fighting?! You've STILL not given up! If you're strong enough to get through this, you're strong enough to get over it. Remember what I told you? Baby steps. You just need to keep talking to me; keep pushing him out of your head and he'll be gone. Don't give him the satisfaction. Sam Puckett doesn't let people push her around. Where's that fire, huh? Where's that feisty blonde? Where'd she go?"

"She's not here right now," Sam whispered and I cupped her cheek, looking at her as she turned to face me.

"I know she isn't. But she's somewhere in there. You just need to keep fighting, baby. Because that old feisty Sam...she's gonna come back...and she's gonna come back better than ever. And you know what; you'll be able to say that you did it. Because you made it. And I know you can because you're a fighter. Born a fighter, and you always will be. Right now, you've just had a little slip up," I told her.

"It's hard..." Sam trailed off.

"I know it's hard, baby. But you're allowed to be scared and vulnerable. Just don't let it take over you. You're gonna get through this and I'll be here. He won't be there to see that glow back in your face and that sparkle in your eyes and that fire in your stomach. I will though. It's hard for you to trust. It's hard for you to accept love but you're forgetting who I am. I've seen you when you're at your best and at your worst. I've seen your scars, I've heard your memories and not once have I fled from it."

"I feel like he's...he's made me into someone I don't wanna be," Sam croaked out.

"He has," I agreed. "But you won't be that forever. You're the strongest person I know. And if others out there can get through it, so can you. I believe in you. I know you are capable of fighting this. You are! Just...keeping trying."

"I am trying!" Sam cried.

"I know, sweetheart," I said calmly, kissing her briefly. "But don't stop. No matter how hard it gets...just think. Think of how amazing it will be for you when you get through this. Think of how proud you will feel. I will feel proud too. Think of the future, our future, and think of all those memories we have yet to make. Keep thinking of what that will be like and you'll soon get there. It's not a quick fix...but it's fixable."

Sam looked up at me, her big blue eyes meeting my brown ones. " I needed that. You always make me feel better. I love you."

"It's okay, Sam. You know you can always talk to me. And I love you too," I smiled and I captured her lips with a soft kiss.

"We should get out," Sam said as we both pulled away.

"Prolly," I responded, and I got out of the bathtub first, wrapping a towel around my waist and I held one out for Sam. I wrapped her up in it as she stepped out of the tub and I kissed her forehead. "How are you so beautiful?" I asked her, my lips going to her neck.

We both then got dressed into just sweatpants as neither of us was willing to do anything today. We kinda wanted some alone time.

Sam and I were slouched on the couch, Sam with her legs thrown over me and her head resting on my chest as she fiddled with the hem of my shirt. We were watching boring TV, not really paying attention. I could tell Sam wasn't as she was more invested in my shirt and my mind was elsewhere anyway.

How long would it take for Sam to get back to normal? Or as normal as Sam could get? I wanted her back as soon as possible but it wasn't easy like that. Oh well...I'd help her throughout it all though. Even if it takes longer than I expected. She was worth it.

I squirmed a little when I felt Sam's hand go under my shirt to feel my abs. She trailed her fingertips across my skin and my stomach felt as if it were on fire.

"You know, if you want me to take my shirt off, you could just say," I said to Sam, smirking as I felt her cheeks redden.

"Shut up," she mumbled, her fingers still not leaving my skin and I gave her a look. She sighed as if to say, go ahead and I rolled my eyes playfully, yanking off my shirt.

Sam then pushed me onto my back and came on top of me, resting her head on my bare chest as she traced lazy circles over it. I stroked her hair on her head as it was nestling comfortably beneath my chin.

"I wish we could just stay like this forever. Nor drama, no hassle, no worries, no nothing. Just me and you," Sam spoke up.

"Me too, baby," I replied. "Me too."

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

"Baby, if you'd rather stay home, I can call in and we'll spend the day together," Freddie offered but I shook my head.

"No. If we're gonna try and be normal then I need to work and so do you," I replied, poking his chest.

"Can't we just spend the day in bed?" Freddie pleaded, his arms going around me but I pulled them off me.

"No," I teased, smirking a little. "You're gonna be late."

"Come on, Sam...please...we can stay in bed all day. Come on..."

"You're so horny!" I exclaimed, slapping his chest. "I'll see you in a few hours," I said, kissing him briefly. "Love you," I hollered, getting out of the car.

"Love you too," Freddie responded in a monotone and I blew him a kiss before he sped off.

Pushing the door of the café open, I stepped in and Tina approached me with a perplexed expression.

"I see the boyfriend convinced you to stay," she said.

"How'd you know?" I asked her.

"He swung by here, asking me if I'd seen you," Tina informed me and I nodded.

"Well I'm sticking around now and I was wondering...is my job still available?"

"You're apron and badge is in the back room," Tina smiled and I grinned. "I thought you wanted to get out of here and go someplace safe."

"I know," I replied. "But I realised that here, I am safe."

**Next update in a few hours if I get enough reviews...**


	15. Diamonds And Why Men Buy Them

**Whoa, another update. Sheesh. Also follow my new twitter if you haven't already: PurpleElevators**

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

"Dude, I am not eating that," I said to Freddie, cringing a little at the octopus in front of me.

"Oh come on, you should know about great delicacies! How have you not tried octopus?" Freddie asked.

"Because my taste buds are normal," I fired back and Freddie glared at me.

"How are your taste buds normal? Senior year prom, you dipped the shrimp in the chocolate fountain," he reminded me.

"And that tasted beautiful. But I'm not eating octopus!"

Freddie and I were out to dinner at some posh restaurant where I felt pretty out of place. Sure, I was all dolled up but I wasn't good in high sophisticated places. Freddie was though. And he fit in too. He was wearing a white button down shirt which strained against his biceps matched with a simple tie and was wearing dark pants which looked great on him. He looked gorgeous today.

Things had been okay, touch wood, lately. Kyle hadn't gotten into contact with me and I was feeling a little better. Freddie had been great, taking my mind off it all and helping me a lot. I owed the guy so much.

"Come on," Freddie urged, putting a piece of octopus on his fork and handing it to me.

"No," I shook my head laughing.

"Try it," he said and I shook my head, inching back in my seat as Freddie tried pushing the food into my mouth.

"Freddie, stop!" I laughed, swatting the fork away but he pushed it forward again and I sighed, taking it in my mouth. "Happy?" I said, my mouth muffled.

"Now chew," he said, laughing at my face as I began to chew on the octopus. This thing was vile!

"Ugh!" I said, spitting it out onto my plate.

"Charming," Freddie commented, making a face.

"You made me try it," I reminded him and he shrugged.

"So octopus isn't your thing then?"

"Well no!"

Freddie rolled his eyes and we both went back to eating our...normal food.

"You feeling alright today?" Freddie asked me.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm trying to not think about it though," I responded, playing with my food.

"Right. Sorry."

"Don't be. I just want one day without thinking about it," I said. "But...I'm okay," I added, taking Freddie's hand from across the table. "Really."

"Good," he smiled, lifting my hand and kissing it.

"Okay, Mr Cliché," I chuckled. "What's next on the agenda?"

After work, Freddie picked me up saying that he was taking me on a fun romantic night out, to make up for the last one which was ruined by Kyle himself. Or shall I say, He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named?

"It's a surprise," Freddie answered. "Oh and we're not buying dessert from here."

"That cheap huh?" I taunted.

"No!" Freddie defended, his voice going all high pitched. "There's a better place to eat pudding just round the block...unless you wanna eat octopus ice cream?"

I cringed. "If they have that..." I trailed off shuddering.

"Relax, baby, just messing with you."

"Yeah well, you owe me a big dessert to make up for that repulsive taste still on my tongue," I grumbled.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Freddie replied not sounding sorry at all.

"Whatever," I replied, finishing my food. "Okay pay and let's go."

"Always so demanding," Freddie teased and called over the waiter.

After he'd paid for the food, we stood up and Freddie took my hand, leading me out of the restaurant. It was dark out and a little chilly. Freddie wrapped one arm around my waist and I snuggled into his warm chest as we walked through the streets.

The lights lit up the dark roads and the stars above us made the sky look beautiful. I leaned my head on Freddie's shoulder as he led me down the street until we reached a dessert place.

Best in town Freddie said and so I ordered a large triple chocolate fudge brownie and cookie dough ice cream to take out.

"I really don't see how you can eat so much but not put any weight on at all," Freddie commented as he stared at me perplexed at how fast I ate my ice cream.

"It's a gift," I shrugged, taking Freddie's ice cream, licking it a few times and them giving it back to him, with an innocent smile. "Love you," I grinned.

"You're lucky I love you too," he said, slinging an arm around my shoulder and interlocked our fingers of his hand over my shoulder which was slung over me.

I looked up at Freddie, giving him a grin and he bent down to kiss me.

"Okay, where are we going now?" I asked Freddie as we carried on walking.

"It's a surprise," he replied and I rolled my eyes.

"You and your surprises."

"Come on," Freddie said, taking my hand.

We must've walked for some time and I was beginning to get tired. This surprise better be freaking good.

"Freddie..." I moaned. "How far...I'm tired!"

"Not far now," he replied and I groaned. I frowned for a minute and then let go of Freddie's hand.

"Carry me?" I offered and Freddie rolled his eyes. "My feet hurt!"

"Get on," he replied and I grinned, jumping on his back and wrapping my arms around his neck.

I rested my head on his shoulder as we carried on walking until we reached a gate. Freddie opened it and we walked through. Right there, in front of us was a huge lake and grassy areas. It looked so peaceful.

The starry night sky reflected onto the water, making it look even more dazzling.

"Whoa," I commented.

Freddie looked up at me, smirking and carried me closer to the lake under a willow tree. He put me down and took my hands.

"Where'd you find this place?" I asked him, still looking around and Freddie simply shrugged.

"Passing through a while back. Anyway...I want to give you something," he responded.

"Freddie," I started. "You don't need to get me anything, really. You've already done so much."

"I want to. You deserve it all," he urged and I couldn't help but smile. Freddie then went into his pocket and pulled out a box. He handed me and I opened it, revealing a sliver chain necklace with a heart on it. The heart was also silver, covered in...diamonds? Oh my god.

"Freddie...you...this is beautiful," I breathed.

"Like you," he said and I laughed softly. "Yeah, I know. Cheesy."

"Nah, I like it," I said, looking up at him. "How much was this?"

"Doesn't matter. You're worth everything," Freddie told me and I felt heat rise to my cheeks in a blush. "Want me to put it on you?"

I nodded and turned around, handing Freddie back the necklace and holding my hair. I felt him put the chain on me as he kissed my neck. I let my hair down again, turning back to him and lacing my arms around him.

"I love you," I said to him and he smiled, saying it back to me before capturing my mouth in a kiss. My hand went to his cheek and he held me close as we felt the wind blanket us as we remained kissing.

I didn't want to be anywhere else. Freddie was doing so much for me and slowly I felt like I was gaining myself back.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

I woke up to the bright sunlight streaming in through the window and I squinted at the light. I looked down at saw Sam laid on my me, with one arm locked on my waist. She looked so peaceful so I wasn't in a rush to wake her.

It had been a few days since we last heard from Kyle and I was glad he hadn't harassed us any more. Sam was doing good though. Even though she probably didn't see much of a difference, I could tell she was getting better.

Speaking of Sam, I felt her stir and she nuzzled her head into my chest.

"Ugh, can the sun go away?" she mumbled as she opened her eyes and she buried her face where my neck met my shoulder.

"Don't think so, baby," I chuckled and she groaned, pulling away to face me. "Morning," I said to her.

"Morning," Sam replied and I leaned in to kiss her. Sam kissed back for a while until she pulled away instantly, making a face.

"You have morning breath too, don't pin it on me," I teased, and Sam didn't reply, she just scrambled off the bed and rushing into my bathroom.

I got up in concern and ran after her to find her kneeled in front of the toilet, puking.

"Okay, that's insulting," I commented before I got down next to Sam, holding her hair back and rubbing her back.

After Sam spent a good portion of time vomiting, she fell back into my lap, wiping her mouth.

"Ugh, that damn octopus," she croaked out.

"You okay, baby?" I asked softly, stroking her hair.

"Yeah I-oh god," Sam them abruptly sat up and began puking all over again. I grabbed her hair, waiting for her to stop.

When she did, we both paused for a second until I was sure she stopped and Sam finally took a deep breath.

"Sorry," she muttered, leaning into my chest after I had flushed the toilet.

"Don't be," I replied, kissing her forehead. "I'll never make you eat octopus again."

"Much appreciated."

"Although it could have been that elephant sized dessert you-"

"I don't think so. It was the poisonous seafood you forced down my throat," Sam interrupted.

"Okay, whatever. Come on, you're gonna lay down," I said, standing Sam up.

"I'm fine now," she assured me.

"I'm not taking chances," I fired back and picked Sam up bridal style, depositing her on the bed where I tucked her in and got in next to her. "I'll make you some food in a little while. Not now while you still could be nauseous."

"I swear you worry too much," Sam mumbled.

"I don't worry too much!" I exclaimed and Sam gave me look. "I just get concerned," I muttered in defeat.

**~New York~**

**General POV**

Kyle threw himself onto his bed in his drunken stupor. He'd been so stupid in thinking he'd found Sam. He couldn't find her. What was he thinking?

He grabbed a hold of the bedside table and pulled himself up. Angry at Sam leaving, he let out a loud roar and knocked off everything on what was on Sam's make up table. Every single thing which reminded him of Sam, he smashed up, throwing breaking and chucking.

She was fucked.

Kyle smiled evilly, thinking about when he'd get his hands her. He'd make sure she never left again and he'd make sure Freddie Benson wasn't going to get to play Prince Charming again.

With one swift kick of Sam's broken things, Kyle fell back onto the bed, getting drowsier with the sheer amount of alcohol intake.

Before drifting off into his drunken slumber, he thought about Sam. And how sorry she would be.

He just had to find her first.


	16. I Don't Care If You're Contagious

**Yes, I know it's short. Meh...**

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

Ugh. I dragged myself to the bathroom yet again in the morning, dropping to my knees and throwing up furiously. Damn octopus. This was the fourth day of sickness. Kill me now. I rested my forehead against the toilet seat lid when I closed it after flushing the toilet.

I was achy, my stomach felt like falling out and my feet were dead.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Freddie exclaimed and I turned to see him approaching me.

"I'm capable of puking on my-oh geez!" I pulled up the lid and started vomiting into it, so hard, my chest started hurting. I felt Freddie hold my hair back and rub my back, trying to soothe me whilst I puked up my stomach contents. How much sick did I have in my gut, I'd barely eaten in days?!

"God, you're never eating seafood again," Freddie cringed, flushing to toilet again.

"Amen to that," I mumbled and I fell back into Freddie's embrace as he stroked my hair.

"You feeling better?" he asked me and I shook my head pitifully.

"No," I moaned and Freddie sighed, kissing the top of my head.

We remained sat on the bathroom floor for a few minutes until I was sure I wasn't going to puke again. Freddie got to his feet and helping me up, picking me up and carrying me back to the bed, laying me on it. I grabbed Freddie's hand and pulled him beside me.

I lay beside Freddie as I regained my breath. I rested my head in the crook of his neck. Freddie stroked my hair with one hand, using the other to rub my back.

"You tired, sweetheart?" Freddie asked me gently.

"Little bit," I responded and Freddie nodded.

"Get some sleep," he told me and I curled up against him like a little kitten.

Just when I thought I was getting...better? No, I couldn't fool myself. I wasn't getting better. But I wasn't getting worse either.

I felt Freddie kiss the top of my head and I swallowed, trying to keep this nausea under control. I took in deep breaths and felt my eyes get droopier. I snuggled into Freddie's chest, resting my head under his chin.

He was too good to me. He'd only gone a bought me diamond necklace and swore to protect me, risking his life as he was doing so. I couldn't ever repay him. There was literally nothing I could do to owe him back for this. He was the only reason I was getting through this.

I soon felt myself drift on into a peaceful slumber. This time my sleep wasn't ridden with nightmares, but I felt more...happier? I don't know...I felt good to say the least.

Better than the alternate.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

I walked to Sam who was laid in bed and I handed her a bowl of chicken soup and she sat up.

I sat down on the bed next to her and threw my arm around her.

"Open," I said to her gently and she opened her mouth. I fed her a spoonful of chicken soup and Sam grimaced, spitting it back in the bowl. "Babe, you're meant to eat it."

Sam didn't reply, she just pushed the chicken soup back, making a face and I put the bowl on the bedside table, wrapping my arms around Sam.

"Just when things seem to be going steady," I murmured into her hair.

"Blame ocotupuses," she replied groggily.

"Octopi," I corrected.

"What?"

"That's the plural of octopus. Octopi," I told her and she rolled her eyes.

"You're such a dweeb."

"How?"

"Only a dweeb would know that," Sam explained.

"Lots of people know that."

"Lots of people can be stupid."

I shrugged, laying me and Sam down on the bed and she didn't speak, she just laid there and soon after a while, she fell asleep. Luckily she hadn't been sick since this morning but after that chicken soup fiasco, I knew she'd end up vomiting in a little while. It couldn't just have been the octopus though. Could it?

No, Freddie. But...she might...I mean she was complaining about her feet aching. Well we were walking a lot. AND she's been nauseous. But that could be the octopus No...Sam never gets sick from food. Ugh, she can't be. I mean, sure, we've been doing the right activities, but we've been so careful. It wasn't always one hundred percent effective though was it? Dammit!

I shook my head. I was being paranoid, as usual. I always took things too far, constantly thinking of worst case scenarios and thinking of the wrong thing. Sam wasn't PREGNANT! But...she could be.

I looked down at my sleeping Sam. She looked so peaceful and I smirked as her lips were slightly parted, soft snores escaping her mouth. I pushed up her tank top to see her flat stomach.

I kissed her scar, like I always do whenever I looked at her stomach and then I took in her stomach. There was a possibility she could be carrying my child right now. I rubbed my hand lightly over her pale skin.

I sighed, laying my head back down and joining Sam in her sleep.

...

I had taken Sam to the drugstore, picking up some medicine for her and whilst she was looking at snacks, I quickly grabbed a pregnancy test and paid for it discretely. I didn't want to bring Sam but at the same time I didn't want to leave her alone.

I took a hold of Sam's hand as we left the store. We walked back to my apartment in silence. Sam was feeling drowsy and drained.

I took off her jacket as we arrived and she grabbed the medicine.

"Sam," I started and she turned her head to look at me just as she was pouring herself a glass of water.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to do something for me," I said.

"What?" Sam asked.

I gulped, pulling out the stick and handing it to her. "Take it."

"This is a pregnancy test," Sam told me.

"I know," I replied.

"I'm not pregnant!" she cried.

"Well, you've been nauseous and your feet were hurting and you turned down chicken!"

"One word: octopus! And my feet always hurt when people make me walk certain distances!" Sam argued and I sighed.

"Take it," I urged. "What have you got to lose? If it's negative then so be it. If it's positive-"

"It won't be! Are you meaning to tell me you forgot to put on a condom or something?!"

"No!" I exclaimed. "But it's not one hundred percent protective is it? Just take it, it won't do any harm!"

"You know what...you...fine I'll take the goddamn test but it's going to be negative," Sam said, finally giving in and she snatched the test off me, marching into the bathroom.

Another symptom: moodiness.

Oh come on, Sam's always like this.

I smirked a little though. If she wasn't pregnant and was being moody with me, then she was getting back to normal. But if she was pregnant...wow.

Of course, I would love for Sam to have my baby but not yet and not while Kyle was out on the loose. Even if she is though, we'll take it on board.

I turned my head to see Sam walk back into the living room a few minutes later and tossing me the test.

"Negative," she stated and I picked it up to confirm. It was. "I told you."

"I just...it was something that crossed my mind."

"Well thank god I'm not because now is the WORST time to have a baby!" Sam hollered and turned back around. "I'm going to bed."

I sighed as the bedroom door slammed and I leaned back on the couch, looking at the negative pregnancy test.

Oh well.


	17. Chemical Kids And Mechanical Brides

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

I felt the bed shift and Freddie's arm went over me as he lay down next to me. I sighed when I felt him pull me close towards his chest and he kissed my neck.

"Sorry," he said and I shrugged.

"Don't be," I responded. "It's just...being pregnant...we can't do that."

"I know," Freddie responded and I turned around to face him. He cupped my face with one hand and kissed me softly. "It's okay if you are."

I shook my head. "It's not."

"Look, you took one test, baby," Freddie reminded me and I gave him a look.

"So?" I asked him.

Freddie didn't reply, he just got off the bed and went out of the bedroom. He then returned a moment later with what looked like a bunch of more pregnancy tests. My eyes widened and I sat up.

"I'm not pregnant!" I cried.

"Sam, you took one test. Take these now," he said firmly.

"No!"

"Why not?" he shot back.

"What's the point?"

"Sam! Take the goddamn test so we can figure out if you're pregnant or not!" Freddie yelled, startling me and he saw the look on my face, sighing. "Look, I'm sorry; I just...please take them."

I looked up at him and reluctantly got off the bed. I approached Freddie who handed me the sticks and I looked down at them and looked back up at Freddie.

"Go on," he said softly, kissing me gently and I nodded, going into the bathroom.

If I was pregnant, what would I do? I mean, bringing a child into this world where Kyle was still on the loose was dangerous. I couldn't do that. Carrying Freddie's child would be amazing but it was too early. We hadn't been together that long, regardless of how long we'd loved each other and if I did have this baby, say I was pregnant, then Kyle would go ballistic if he found out.

I couldn't do that. Things were too risky. I was worried about Freddie getting hurt let alone a little baby. But if I was pregnant, I couldn't get rid of it. That was against everything I believed in.

After I peed on the sticks, I laid them out on the floor beside the toilet, staring at them. I buried my head in my hands. I couldn't do this. What if I was pregnant?! And say Kyle comes back! He'd go crazy! He'd kill me! He'd kill Freddie! I knew I had nothing to worry about when it came to the parenting. Freddie would be an amazing father but two things; we hadn't been together that long and Kyle was after me.

I couldn't make Freddie give everything up. I had ruined things too much for him.

I put Kyle and the length of time Freddie and I had been together out of the equation for a second and thought about a baby. My own baby. Mine and Freddie's own child. I wondered who it would look like. I pictured Freddie holding a newborn and my heart melted at the thought. The idea of motherhood was strange. True, I had a little pregnancy scare a few months back but I wasn't and Kyle didn't want a kid anyway. Yet, when he was sober he did.

Doesn't matter. I wouldn't have brought a child into our world then.

I heard a small beeping noise and I shut my eyes. Shit. With the opening, I would see if mine and Freddie's lives changed forever. I bet Freddie was outside the bathroom going crazy and driving himself insane.

I slowly opened my eyes and out of the five pregnancy sticks in front of me, all of them had the word pregnant on them.

My heart stopped for a second and I looked down at my stomach. There was a baby in there. There couldn't be! No! I gathered the sticks and stood up, my legs feeling like jelly. I couldn't keep Freddie in the dark so I went over to the door and opened it. He was stood by the bed, pacing back and forth and he looked up at me.

"Well?" he asked.

"Pregnant," I stated, chucking the sticks on the bed and Freddie's eyes widened. We stared at each other for a little while until he held his arms out, approaching me. His strong arms went around me and I gripped onto him.

"It's gonna be okay," he whispered.

"We can't have a child!" I cried. "Kyle's out there...he'll hurt us and hurt our baby!"

"He won't find us!"

"What if he does?" I asked.

"I'll protect you," Freddie responded, looking me in the eyes. "Look, everything happens for a reason. You leaving Kyle happened so you could come to me, and you getting pregnant happened for a reason. You and this baby are my priority. I don't care if he finds us. He won't have to find out about the baby if he comes soon. And...if you get scared...we'll leave."

"No," I said softly. "We can't leave. San Francisco is where you have your amazing job. We don't have to leave...but...a baby Freddie?! We've not even been together that long!"

"Does it matter?" Freddie asked and I shrugged. "It's not like we aren't together."

"I know...but...do you want this? Sleepless nights and midnight feeds?"

"Hey, we're in it together," Freddie smiled and he guided me to the bed where we both sat down.

"I just...I'd be okay with it if..."

"Kyle wasn't around?" Freddie finished knowingly and I nodded. I was scared he was coming anyway and if he found out I was pregnant, I'd be a goner. "I'll keep you and this baby safe. If he comes anywhere near you, we're calling the police. There's nothing we can do about the pregnancy anyway."

"I know...I just don't want to bring a child into the world when there's Kyle on the loose."

"You're forgetting that baby's father will go to extremes to keep him or her safe. And his mommy," Freddie smirked and I smiled. He then pushed me on my back and lifted my top up, kissing my stomach. "This isn't so bad. This could be the fresh start you wanted. A family. It's dangerous but...isn't life? He's not going to hurt you," Freddie told me and then kissed my stomach. "Or you."

I couldn't help but smile, running my fingers through Freddie's hair. "You sure about this?"

"I am. I'm scared too but we can do this. He can't tear us apart." Freddie then pulled my shirt down and lay next to me, bringing me into his arms and kissing me.

"I love you," I said gently.

"I love you too, baby," he responded. "And our baby."

I tried to smile again but instead I felt my eyes water and I buried my face in Freddie's shoulders. "We can't do this."

"Yes we can."

"Kyle's gonna find us!" I cried, looking at Freddie's face. "And we can't have a BABY! Are you insane?!" I then stood up leaving Freddie perplexed.

"Whoa, baby, calm down," Freddie said, standing up and advancing towards me. "There's nothing we can do. We have to get through it! I'm just trying to see the positives!"

"What positives?!" I screamed, tears rolling down my face. I blame hormones.

"The fact that you're carrying my child. Our child. We'll be parents in nine months. We'll be in charge of a new life! It's a baby, Sam!"

"And if Kyle finds us, he'll kill me! He'll kill you!"

Freddie grabbed my waist and yanked me towards him, bringing me into his embrace, holding my head with the back of his hand.

"I won't LET him," he growled protectively.

I let out a shaky breath, holding onto Freddie. "I'm scared," I confessed.

"Me too. But we gotta do this. It's our responsibility."

"I know," I sighed. Freddie then carried me over to the bed and laid us both down. He held me in his arms and we remained there in silence.

I was carrying Freddie's child just as Kyle was hell bent on finding me. I couldn't even be happy about being pregnant with Freddie's baby thanks to Kyle. All my happiness had been sucked out by Kyle.

"Don't leave me," I whispered.

"Never," Freddie replied firmly. "You're mine. I'm not letting you go this time, Puckett."

"Promise me?"

"I promise. I love you so much, I won't leave you."

"I love you too, more than anything, Freddie!" I cried out, clutching onto him. "I love you so, so much!"

"Shh," Freddie soothed, stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head.

I looked up at Freddie and smiled slightly. "I feel safe with you," I said honestly.

"That's all I want," he responded kissing me softly.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

Sam was pregnant. This was so unreal. It was amazing but horrific at the same time. It was exciting but nerve wrecking at the same time. And I was happy but not at the same time. It was crazy but it was dangerous. Nothing we could do though. And I'd protect Sam and the baby as much as I could to save them if Kyle ever came.

Sam was asleep next to me and I had made an appointment with the doctor for this morning. I looked at the sleeping blonde and I smiled to myself. Even with hair covering her face, no make-up and in the midst of her soft snores, she was the most beautiful girl in the world.

I lifted up her pyjama top and looked at her flat stomach. I kissed her scar and rubbed my hand over her skin. She wasn't going to have a flat stomach for much longer.

I must've woken Sam by rubbing her stomach as her eyes opened.

"Hi," she said softly and I smiled.

"Hey," I responded, bending to kiss her and I held her chin as our lips moved in sync. Sam kissed back hungrily but gently and I scooped her up so I kiss her deeply. Sam's arms went around me and we remained like that, kissing for a while, until I pulled away. "We got a doctor's appointment to go to."

"Now?" Sam groaned.

"We have to be there soon," I told her and she let out a groan, laying back on the pillows and I smiled at her, resting my head next to hers. "You not feeling nauseous today?"

Sam shook her head and I gave her a small smile, kissing her.

The two of us got ready and after Sam ended up throwing up, I tracked down some things which curbed nausea and apparently sour stuff did so before we left for the doctors, Sam drained a bottle of lemonade.

We arrived in the nick of time and were soon called in.

"Well Sam and Freddie, my name is Doctor Hart," the doctor started.

We were sat in the doctor's office with Sam in a paper gown.

"It seems you are indeed pregnant and are in fact two weeks along. Everything seems healthy," she explained. "Do you have any questions?"

"I'm a twin...will it be hereditary?" Sam asked.

"Not necessarily but in a few weeks we should be able to tell," Doctor Hart answered.

"Right," Sam said.

After the uncomfortable pelvic exam where Sam kept making faces, we were almost ready to leave.

"Everything's normal and in working order. From what it looks like, your due date is March 23rd."

I grinned at Sam who gave me a smile back. I knew she was nervous about this but I knew we could do it. Kyle wasn't hurting either of my babies.

**~New York~**

**General POV**

"Come on you son of a bitch," Kyle muttered as he typed something on his laptop in his work office, bringing his mug to his lips. It was full to the brim of alcohol and he already had a bit of a buzz in the early morning.

He'd spent all night and now all morning searching for Sam but to no avail. He wasn't a detective. He was a lawyer. But when she was back home, she was dead. That was all Kyle knew. He just had to find her.

"Mr Foster," Kyle's boss called as he walked into his office.

Kyle didn't reply.

"You've been here all night and now you've still not left. Why? What are you even doing? It's not the case, I know it isn't. You don't need your laptop for it."

Kyle still kept quiet, typing furiously on his keyboard and clicking things here and there.

"What is this?" Mr Leister, the boss, asked and picked up Kyle's mug.

"Wait, don't-" Kyle started but it was too late. Mr Leister had already sniffed the drink and he stared down hard at him.

"How long have you been smuggling alcohol into here?" he asked.

"A while," Kyle murmured.

"You're suspended," Mr Leister stated.

"WHAT?!" Kyle shrieked. "Who's going to take these cases? You know I'm the best around!"

"We'll find someone else. Now get your things and leave."

Kyle knew there was no hope in trying so he glared at his boss and grabbed what he needed.

"Mr Foster!" Mr Leister hollered before Kyle could leave. Kyle turned around to face him. "Where's your wife? Haven't seen her around lately."

Kyle didn't respond. He just shot his boss a nasty look and left.


	18. Props And Mayhem

**GUYS only a few chapters left ohmygod, it feels like yesterday when I was debating on whether to post it. It won't be finished until a more chapters, say four or five, though. It's gonna get really intense as well.**

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

"Sam!" I called as I arrived home, my arms full of books.

"In here!" she hollered back from the bedroom and I dumped my keys on the counter before going into our room where Sam was sat on the bed, watching TV.

Kyle hadn't bothered us in a while which was good I guess. Unless he was going to end up surprising us. But I tried to stay optimistic. I'd been clouding my mind with baby stuff, trying to make sure everything was perfect. Sam was still nauseous but with the sour stuff, it wasn't as bad. I'd told her to take it easy since I didn't want her getting stressed whilst she was pregnant.

I was excited for a baby, but nervous. Was I capable of being a father? I knew I had to take care of not only Sam but now a whole new life. A life we'd created. With Kyle out there, I couldn't help but take every precaution.

"What are those?" Sam asked, looking at the pile of books in my arms.

"Baby books," I responded and Sam rolled her eyes. "What? I don't know what I'm doing and neither do you! Might as well get some prep."

I sat down beside Sam on the bed and spread out the books.

"Don't you think that's a little too much?" Sam commented.

"No, why?" I replied and Sam shook her head in amusement. "What?"

"Nothing," she said. "I just knew you'd go all super daddy for this."

"Gotta make sure our little mini-me's coming along perfectly," I said, smiling and I could tell Sam was trying to smile too but she couldn't. Instead she just sighed.

"Yeah," she replied.

"You don't want this baby do you?" I asked Sam softly and she turned her face to look over at the other side of the room, avoiding looking at me.

I could hear her sniffling signifying she was crying and she shook her head. "I want to be happy but I can't," Sam explained. "Kyle's out there...I'm scared."

I took a hold of Sam's chin and looked into her eyes. "Me too," I confessed. "But he's not gonna touch you or our baby. That I swear."

"I can't help but worry," Sam whispered as I cupped her cheek.

"That's normal," I told her, brushing my lips across hers. "I feel the same."

"Freddie...me and you...I'm still with Kyle. Legally. Technically I'm committing adultery."

"You ended things with Kyle," I reminded Sam.

"But we're still married. I don't wanna see him again but I need to divorce him," Sam said and I nodded.

"We'll...cross that bridge when we come to it."

Sam let out a heavy sigh, getting under the covers and laying down on the bed, facing away from me. I frowned.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked her, stroking her hair.

"I don't want this baby," she replied bluntly.

"I know it's going to he difficult but you know that I'll-"

"I DON'T WANT THIS BABY!" Sam screamed, starting me as she sat up to face me. "WE HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN TOGETHER TWO MONTHS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT HAVING A BABY?! KYLE is coming! He will KILL you if he finds out! I can't be a mother! It's too dangerous! It's so STUPID to keep this baby!"

I grabbed Sam's wrists, pinning them down as I pushed her back onto the bed, straddling her. "You think I don't think that?! But no way in HELL are you getting rid of it! I know we haven't been together that long. Does it matter?! I've loved you ever since HIGH SCHOOL and you never got over me. What are the odds of Kyle finding us? And if you're still paranoid, then we can get out of here!"

"I'm not letting you give up your life for me," Sam struggled underneath me.

"You're forgetting you ARE my life," I said. "If if means we have to move to some small town, I'll do it for you."

"No," Sam shook her head. "Just...carry on with your life and I'll go to a small town and never bother you again. You won't get hurt and you won't have to deal with me and a baby."

"You think I'm gonna let you go again?" I asked her, our faces touching. "You think I'm going to let you walk out of my life with my child in you? Think again, Sam. Wherever you go, I'm coming too."

Sam shook her head fervently. "Let go of me."

"No," I said, my voice sounding pained. "Why can't you see that I love you?! Why can't you see that I wanna help you and that I will! True, you being pregnant probably isn't what we need right now but it's not like we can do anything about it. We BOTH did it, don't blame yourself. I know you're scared about Kyle but how many times do I need to tell you that I'll keep you safe?!"

"It's all good saying it!" Sam cried. "What if he broke in now and held a gun to my temple?' Then what would you do?! Huh?!"

I stared at her, speechless. She was right. I said I'd protect her but what would I do?"

"I..."

"And I can't put you at risk. This isn't your fight."

"I don't care," I growled. "Like hell is he gonna hurt you. Even if he had to shoot me instead of you, I'm not letting him hurt you, baby! I love you and this baby with all my fucking heart and if he does show up with a gun, I'll let him shoot me. Trust me, Sam. All I want is for you to be happy," I said. I rested my head in the crook of her neck, kissing her there.

"But I don't want you getting hurt," Sam whispered.

"You let me worry about that. I don't want you running off. I don't want you thinking like this. Okay?"

"Okay," she finally said and I sat up, pulling her up too and I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame.

"Listen, this baby could be good. It can be a really great fresh start, despite how long we've been together. And you're gonna be a great mother, Sam," I said to her.

"You think so?" Sam asked me.

"I KNOW so," I corrected. "You're witty, fun, exciting, protective and sweet. You'll be amazing."

"You will be," she said softly. "I mean...we've not seen each other in eight years and you suddenly go all protective over me when you found out about Kyle. You're gonna be the best father this kid can get."

"Thanks," I smiled, my hand going to Sam's stomach. "What do you want it to be?"

"I don't mind. You?"

"Healthy. I don't really care. Boy or girl, I'd be happy with either," I answered and Sam nodded.

"This baby's lucky to have you," Sam said gently, running her fingers through my hair. "I'm lucky to have you."

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

At first, the idea of a baby was daunting and I didn't want it until Freddie had practically spent the last hour pounding into my head how he'd protect me and our baby until I gave in. He was right I guess. This was a fresh start and it was an opportunity. I wasn't going to let Kyle ruin my life anymore.

I guess in all this bad shit going down, I forgot about the good stuff which came with it. Freddie.

He'd given me a second chance at love and I finally felt like I wasn't a victim. I was scared, but I was less scared.

Freddie and I were on the couch and I was sat in his lap, my legs stretched out and my head against his chest as he played with my hair. Something he did a lot.

I was thankful to have him. He'd made me see the world isn't all bad, you just need to find the good in it.

I felt Freddie's lips touch the top of my head and I smiled a little. I looked up at him, trailing my fingertips across his beautiful face and I closed the distance between us as I kissed him softly. Freddie cradled me and then laid me down on the couch, coming on top of me.

He tangled his hands through my hair, his lips moving against mine slowly and sweetly. We kissed like that for a while, neither of us in a rush to do anything else. I felt my insides dance as I felt his warm breath enter my mouth and I let out a soft moan. Every single inch of my body was tingling. From the tip of my toes to the top of my head. Freddie had his way with his mouth and his touch.

It seemed after all these years he never lost his touch. I yearned for him, desperate to have him close to me, not wanting to ever be away from him. I realised something. Something amazing but something so crazy, it was almost unbelievable. Throughout the course of mine and Kyle's marriage, his kisses never made me feel like this. True, I felt sparks but I didn't feel fireworks, like my body was on fire, radiating throughout me.

No one can make me feel the way Freddie does. He slowed down the kisses, like a slow seduction and I felt myself want him more. He ran his hand down my body and my hands ran up and down his back until I reached his hair. I ran my fingers through his thick, brown hair, tugging on it a little.

Freddie groaned and kissed my jaw and then my neck. I keep playing with his hair, moaning as I felt his tongue glide across my sensitive skin. He then pulls off my shirt but doesn't ravish me or drool all over the sight. Instead he kissed my lips before scooting down to my stomach.

He kissed the ugly scar left by Kyle, like he always does. Something about that made me feel safe. It was a protective thing he did. Every time he saw the scar, he kissed it and it made me feel safe.

Freddie kissed my stomach, all over. I know why he's kissing it. Not because of the scar, not because he wants me, but because of our growing baby. That little mini us. The source of a fresh start for me. Our little bundle of love.

I smile down at him and his eyes flicked up to meet mine. His brown orbs burnt through me and I sat up, capturing his lips with mine and I pulled him back down on top of me, our lips moving in slow synchronisation.

All throughout my life, he never hurt me. When we were younger we pissed each other off in a childish manner but Freddie never hurt me truly. I had to blame our first breakup on both of us. We hurt each other. And right now, this man would never hurt me.

He whispered in my ear sweet nothings, making my stomach flip flop and he told me he loved me. I said I loved him too and he kissed down my body until he reached my stomach. He kissed it all over again.

And before he kissed my lips again, he whispered to my stomach, to our baby, that he loved it too.

**~New York~**

**General POV**

As the storm raged in the city of New York, Kyle was sat inside his apartment, hunched over his laptop, this time not drinking. He had been suspended from his work and felt more motivation to find his wife and bring her home.

He'd searched up her name, both Foster and Puckett but all that came up was her restaurant and iCarly references.

He then searched up Freddie Benson. He got a lot of iCarly references too but he refused to give up. He had to be on the web somewhere.

Determination and fire in his eyes, Kyle's blind rage turned into something far more dreadful. Satisfaction.

He clicked on the Pear Headquarters webpage where it seemed Freddie Benson worked. He looked over the webpage and proved his point since there was solid proof that he worked there.

"Well," Kyle said to himself, grinning as he printed the page. "Looks like we're going to San Francisco."


	19. The Balcony Scene

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

I woke up pretty early and I looked over at my alarm clock. I didn't have to go to work so I laid my head back down beside Sam who was still sleeping deeply. I had one arm thrown over her waist and her back was pressed up against my bare chest.

I rubbed my hand across Sam's stomach, underneath her top and I smiled, resting my head in the crook of her head. I remained there, peacefully, thinking about where Sam and I would be in nine months. Parents. Wow...it was so surreal.

The sun was boring through the curtains and I felt the heat of the sun radiating onto my back. Sam stirred and let out a soft moan but didn't awaken. I kissed her temple and instead of laying here with the risk of her waking up, I got off the bed. I let Sam have her rest.

Stretching, I rubbed my eyes and yawned. I put the covers back over Sam so she was properly tucked in and I kissed her on her forehead. I then left the bedroom and went into the kitchen. There was post on the floor which had come through my letter box I presumed. Walking over it, I picked them up, going through them. Bills, bills, bills, oh and more bills. I sighed and put them on the counter.

Things had changed drastically over the last month. I found Sam, I became friends with her again and she told me about her abusive marriage life, we then got together and now we're expecting a baby. It seems like it's gone so fast but I loved the girl.

I rubbed my forehead, going through the bills and letting out a long sigh. Dropping them, I went to the fridge, pulling out some juice. I knew I couldn't make Sam bacon for breakfast so I dropped that thought.

I went over to the couch, with my juice, and sat down as I put on the TV. There was nothing really on so I ended up sitting through a shitty reality programme until I heard the bedroom door open.

Sam walked out, tying her robe, yawning as she walked over to the couch and collapsing on it. She took my drink, taking a gulp before handing it back over to me.

"Hey," she said to me.

"Hi," I replied, kissing her. I put the glass on the coffee table, running my hand through Sam's hair. She cupped my cheek, kissing back and scooting towards me. "You not feeling nauseous?"

Sam shook her head and I smiled, my arms going around her. She leaned her head on my shoulder and threw her legs over my lap.

"So what do you wanna do today?" I asked Sam, playing with her long blonde hair.

"This is nice," Sam murmured.

"Yeah?"

"We could go someplace if you wanted to," Sam offered.

"I don't mind," I responded honestly.

"I'm pretty beat," Sam yawned.

"We'll stay in then. Movies and cuddles?" I grinned.

"Described my perfect day, Mr Benson," Sam replied.

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

"Hello...Mr Benson," I called, poking my head through the door of Freddie's office.

"What did I-oh hey baby," Freddie responded as he turned around in his chair to face me.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked him, walking over to sit in his lap. Freddie worked at Pear Headquarters and had his own fancy pants office. I didn't have work today but he did so I decided to come by. Plus I was bored of the apartment after spending all day yesterday in there with Freddie...even if it was very eventful.

The place was huge and on my way to the vending machine, I managed to get lost and ended up in the basement. Yeah...I don't know.

"Just typical work stuff," Freddie grumbled, one arm snaking around my waist as he used the other type something on his computer which was filled with crap I didn't understand. His entire office was filled with crap I didn't understand. His desk was busy crammed with papers and folders.

He smelt ridiculously good and he was dressed all smart in a pair of trousers and a shirt with a tie. Not to mention he had a blazer as well but he wasn't wearing that right now. Good, because his biceps bulged through the shirt he was wearing. I loved this look on his. I watched as Freddie's brow furrowed and he muttered to himself, his eyes glued to the screen.

Freddie then let out a long sigh, leaning back in his chair in frustration and groaning.

"What's wrong?" I asked, standing up and going behind him to wrap my arms around his torso, my hands going to his muscular shoulders.

"Too much stuff," Freddie grumbled.

"Take a break," I suggested.

"I can't, I have-ohh," Freddie then moaned as I began to massage his shoulders and neck. He leaned his head back as he moaned again.

"You're tense," I stated as I rubbed his shoulders.

"I'm just stressed out," Freddie told me.

"We can't have that," I quipped, kissing his neck.

"This feels so good," Freddie groaned and I felt him begin to relax as I worked the knots in his shoulders and neck. I then thought better of it and walked around him to straddle him in his desk chair.

"Maybe I ought to take your mind off it for a little while," I smirked, kissing Freddie softly at first but when his hand went to the back of my head, I deepened it.

His tongue brushed across my lip and I opened my mouth to grant entrance and soon our tongues were battling for dominance in each other's mouths. I started to grind in his lap and I could feel him getting hard already.

Freddie held my waist and kissed me more intensely. My fingers went to his shirt and I was about to unbutton it when there was a knock on Freddie office door which was opened a minute later.

"Freddie?"

I quickly, scrambled off Freddie's lap, standing by his desk awkwardly and he pushed his chair in to hide his bulge. I blushed furiously.

"Mr Callahan wanted me to-what did I just walk into?" a woman of around mine and Freddie's age started.

"Nothing Clare," Freddie replied. "Uh...this is Sam, my girlfriend." Freddie then looked over at me. "Sam, this is Clare, my PA."

"Nice to meet you, Sam," Clare said extending her hand to me which I shook.

"You too," I responded. He had a personal assistant?! Geez.

"Anyway," Clare said, looking back at Freddie. "Mr Callahan wanted me to give you these. It's the designs for the new PearPhone. He wanted you to overlook them and put in any alterations if needed."

"Okay, thank you," Freddie replied.

"It's fine. Nice meeting you, Sam," Clare said before leaving.

"Personal assistant huh?" I smirked, nudging Freddie,

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes playfully. "Now come on, let's get home, you've riled me up already."

"I can tell," I quipped and Freddie stood up, putting on his blazer and the two of us left his work.

We walked to his car and I felt someone watch us. I was probably being paranoid. I turned around but no one seemed to be there. Instead, I snuggled into Freddie's chest and his arm went around me.

Arriving home, and I still felt like someone's eyes were on me. I felt a rush of relief when we arrived back at the apartment though. Freddie shut the door and took off his blazer, advancing towards me as I leaned against the couch.

He grabbed me by my waist and brought my mouth into a passionate, hot kiss. I moaned, my arms lacing around his neck and I jumped up, the paranoia leaving for a while, as my legs wrapped around Freddie's waist.

Freddie held me as we kissed like this and he carried me to the bedroom, kicking it closed before he lay me on the bed. I stared up at him before grabbing him by the tie and yanking him on top of me.

We kissed like that for a while until I undid his tie and began to unbutton his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against mine.

"Mm, I love you so much, you know that?" Freddie muttered against my lips.

"Yeah I know that," I smirked.

I giggled as I felt Freddie kiss my neck and I pushed him off me for a second.

"What's up?" Freddie asked me as I stood up.

"Nothing," I replied. "I'm just hungry."

"You're not blowing me off for food, Sam!" Freddie hollered and he jumped up grabbing me by the waist and spinning me around making me squeal.

"Put me down!" I laughed and Freddie tossed me down onto the bed. I grabbed his shirt, yanking him down and I straddled him, running one hand through his messy hair when I heard a banging noise.

I frowned. It happened again. "What was that?"

"Stay here," Freddie told me but I didn't listen. I stood up and was about to open the bedroom door. "Sam, get your ass back here, now," Freddie hissed.

I opened the door and walked into the living room, my stomach nearly dropping out of my body when I saw who was standing there.

I couldn't breathe for a second and I felt like the life had been sucked out of me. Was I hallucinating? This wasn't real. It couldn't be. I couldn't find my voice, and I ended up only letting out a squeak.

My eyes widened and I finally regained speech.

"Kyle?" I whispered.

"Hey, baby," he grinned.


	20. Disasterology

**Imma keep them short to keep up the suspence.**

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

"What're you doing here?" I asked in a shaky voice as my husband stood right in front of me in his drunken stupor.

I couldn't believe he was back. Everything I feared and he was here. With Freddie in the bedroom and our baby inside me. But I had to put on a strong front to make it look like Kyle didn't scare me when really I was terrified.

"I came back for you," Kyle slurred. "I found you baby!"

"I'm not your baby," I hissed.

"Sam, who are you talking to?!" Freddie hollered, coming out of the bedroom and I watched fury flood through his eyes as they settled on Kyle who was grinning menacingly. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I'm here for my wife," Kyle said.

"You don't touch her," Freddie growled, grabbing my hand and pulling me back. He then stood in front of me protectively and Kyle shook his head in amusement.

"I always knew you'd run back to him!" he said to me. "Freddie Benson! You think you can just leave me and go running into his arms?!"

"You have three seconds to get out!" Freddie spat and I gripped his arm, my breathing getting heavier.

"Not without Sam," Kyle retorted and looked at me. "I'm taking you home."

"I am home," I responded.

"You're home?! This place?! With him?!" Kyle yelled, pointing at Freddie. "I'm your HUSBAND, Samantha. You shouldn't be with any other men."

"If you were my husband you wouldn't slap me around like a doll and expect me to come back to you and forgive you!" I cried. "How...how did you even find me?!"

"Searched up Benson's name. Saw the two of you at Pear HQ and followed you home," he explained.

I wasn't being paranoid. We were genuinely being followed.

"Well you need to go right now," I said.

Kyle shook his head and approached me. Freddie took a few steps back, still holding onto my hand but Kyle grabbed me. Freddie growled and advanced towards Kyle.

"You think you can have her huh?!" Kyle roared. "She's MINE! You had your chance!"

"No YOU had your chance! You think she's gonna run back to you after how bad you hurt her?! She HATES YOU! She loves me! She wants me! And she'll fucking choose me!" Freddie bellowed. I'd never seen him like before. Protective. And...scary.

I was worried for him though. Kyle and Freddie were both equally built but Kyle was a good few inches taller. But Freddie was blinded by fury and rage whereas Kyle was drunk off his ass. As usual.

"She's my wife!" Kyle let go of me and grabbed Freddie, slamming him into the wall. I let out a scream, covering my mouth with my hands.

"Then why didn't you goddamn treat her like one?! You know how bad you fucked her up?! She doesn't want you!" Freddie shot back.

"And she wants you?! We've been together YEARS!"

"And she never stopped loving me," Freddie growled, smirking a little and Kyle pushed him into the wall again, hitting his head.

"Kyle get off him!" I cried, running over to them and trying to pry my husband off my boyfriend. Wow...that sounded weird.

"You gonna act like a bitch, I'm gonna fucking treat you like one!"

"Don't talk to her like that!" Freddie fired.

"You ran away," Kyle said, still looking at me. "And you think you'd get away with that?! You think you'd just run and live happily ever after with PRINCE CHARMING?!"

"I had to get away from YOU!" I yelled, still trying to get him off Freddie.

Freddie seethed with rage and pulled away from Kyle, turning the tables and shoving him into the wall, his arm over Kyle's neck and his face inches from his.

"You're gonna leave when I let go of you or I will call the police, do you understand me?" he hissed.

"I came back for Sam and I'm leaving with Sam!"

"You'll be leaving in an ambulance if you're not careful!" Freddie threatened.

"You think you're tough huh? You think you can protect the little princess? She's mine!"

"She's MINE!" Freddie argued, pushing him back into the wall again. "Tell him Sam. Tell him how you don't want him and how you want me!"

I hesitated. Freddie didn't really know how dangerous Kyle was.

"TELL HIM!" Freddie roared.

"I don't want you, Kyle. You hurt me," I said. I felt tears in my eyes and I squeezed my eyes shut as the tears fell down my cheeks. "You hurt me bad and you didn't care. I don't love you anymore. I love Freddie. Please...leave."

"I don't believe you!" Kyle said, wriggling out of Freddie's grasp. He tried to grab me but I ran into Freddie's arms who put his in front of me protectively.

"Get out, Kyle," Freddie grunted.

"Not without my wife!" Kyle responded, going into his pocket and bringing out a gun. Freddie bristled up and I gripped onto his arm harder.

This is what I was afraid of. I never wanted Freddie to be put in danger. Or our baby. But it was a damn good thing Kyle didn't know about the baby.

"Put the gun away," I whispered to Kyle.

"You've got three seconds to get over here and we're going to leave. You're gonna forget all about Freddie and you're coming home with me."

"No she's not," Freddie butt in.

"I'll shoot then."

"You won't do it," I challenged. "You don't have the guts."

"Don't I?" Kyle grinned.

"Please..." I said softly. "You'll go to prison. You'll get a long sentence if you shoot. Just leave and we won't tell anyone. Leave and don't bother us again and we won't tell."

"You and I both know you're lying. Freddie knows it too," Kyle said but I shook my head, tears streaming down my face.

"Don't shoot."

"One..."

"Kyle, please."

"Two..."

"Freddie," I whispered.

"I promised you," he told me firmly.

"Three..."

I closed my eyes as I heard the ear piercing gun shot radiate throughout the apartment.


	21. Bulls In The Bronx

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

I opened my eyes once the gunshot was fired but felt no pain throughout my body. But I looked down and wished I hadn't. Freddie was laying on the floor, blood flooding out of his shoulder, crying out in pain.

"Oh my god," I breathed and I knelt down beside him, still crying.

"Sam..." he groaned.

"I'm here baby," I responded, stroking his hair, shaking. I looked at his wound and quickly went into the bathroom, grabbing a towel and gently dabbing it. He yelled out and I felt my heart simply ache.

He got hurt. I knew he'd get hurt. This was all my fault.

"You asshole!" I cried, looking up at Kyle as I still tried to tend to Freddie's shoulder.

"You wouldn't come with me," Kyle growled.

"So you shot him?!" I retorted, looking back down at Freddie who's facial expression indicated that he was in a lot of pain. "I'm so sorry...I'm so, so sorry," I whispered, kissing his forehead.

"S'ok," Freddie struggled to get out.

I shook my head, crying. "It's not!"

"Get up," Kyle's gruff voice ordered and a perplexed expression went across my face as I turned to look at him.

"Sorry?"

"Get up. We're going home."

"You SHOT my boyfriend, I'm not going anywhere!" I screamed.

"Get up or I will shoot him again and this time right through the head!" Kyle roared, scaring me. I didn't want to challenge him. I knew he'd do it.

"No..." I sobbed. "He's hurting, I need to get him help!"

"I. Will. Shoot."

"Please, Kyle. You don't want me anyway. You don't love me. Just let me go. I'll make your life miserable and you know it. Please...leave and let me call the ambulance and I won't tell anyone about you. I'll say I woke up to a gunshot and found him. Just please..." I bargained but Kyle shook his head.

"You won't though will you? As soon as I'm gone you'll call the cops and get me arrested for attempted murder. I know you, Sam. So stand up and let's go right now," Kyle said.

"I can't leave him!" I cried.

"Well then he'll die!"

I looked back at Freddie, caressing his face and kissing him softly. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I love you."

"No..." he moaned. "Don't go." I felt Freddie take my hand and squeeze it like he didn't want me to leave.

"You'll die," I choked out.

But he'd die either way.

I looked up at Kyle who was still waiting and I took a deep breath.

"I'll come back with you..." I started and I felt Freddie grip my hand so hard it hurt. "But you let me call an ambulance for Freddie. And we wait until they get here."

"We're leaving now," Kyle said firmly.

"I swear! I will call an ambulance and we'll wait somewhere so we can't be seen and then we'll leave as soon as the paramedics get here!"

"Now," Kyle growled.

I stood up and approached him. "Please...I need to know he's gonna be okay and then I will come back with you. I'll let you take me home and I'll forget all about Freddie and San Francisco. I'll come back and we'll go back to where we were."

"Sam..." Freddie groaned. "No..."

"Freddie, he will kill you. I'm not letting you get any more hurt, do you understand me?"

"I can't let...you go," he replied.

I knelt down beside him and kissed his forehead. "I can't pull you into this. I'm gonna call the ambulance."

I stood back up and reached for the landline, putting it to my ear once I had called the ambulance. I told them a man had been shot and I told them the address. They said they'd be here in five minutes.

"Let's go," Kyle said firmly.

"Two minutes," I replied, going back to Freddie and dabbing his wound again. I winced when I saw the entire towel had gone from being green to red.

"Please don't go," he said, tears in his eyes.

"Thank you for everything. I don't think you understand how much you mean to me. You've been the greatest supporter throughout all this. I love you so much, Freddie. Hang in there," I responded, taking his hand and I kissed his palm.

"Don't go."

"I have to," I said, a sad smile on my face and I bent down to kiss his forehead, and then his cheeks and his nose, until I was kissing all over his face. "I have to," I repeated and I kissed his lips softly. This was probably the last time I'd ever kiss him.

"He'll hurt you," Freddie said, his voice thick and raspy.

"I can take it."

"No you can't," Freddie argued.

"I can."

"But..the..." I knew what Freddie was getting at. Our baby.

"I don't know," I responded, crying. "I really don't know."

"Two minutes is up. Now let's go," Kyle ordered and more tears fell down my face. I looked back at Freddie and kissed him once last time.

"I love you," I reminded him.

"Love you more," he replied, struggling out a small smile.

"Bye," I cried.

"Bye."

I felt Kyle grab my forearm, yanking me to my feet and he dragged me out of the door as I cried my eyes out.

Kyle then led me down the hallway and pressed me against the wall, his face touching mine.

"You think you'd get away with it huh?!" he yelled, grabbing my face with his hand and I shook my head sobbing. "Benson's gonna die you know? And it's YOUR fault!"

I couldn't reply.

"Little whore!" he bellowed, slapping me across the face and punching me in the gut.

No...my baby.

But still he kept hitting me in the stomach until I sank to the floor in a heap, hiccuping over my tears.

"GET UP!" Kyle roared but I couldn't move. I felt Kyle kick me in the side with his size twelve combat boot and I hollered out in pain. "You LEFT me! And I gave you EVERYTHING!"

"I'm sorry!" I cried and Kyle grabbed me.

"Yeah...you fucking will be," he spat.


	22. I'd Rather Die Than Be Famous

**~New York~**

**Sam's POV**

Kyle threw me into the apartment and I stumbled in. The place hadn't changed. It was just much more messier and stunk of alcohol. Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't stop thinking about Freddie and if he's okay. Also, I was concerned about my baby. Kyle had pretty much battered my stomach and I was worried if I had lost the baby. I wasn't given any indication to losing it anyway. I didn't feel that much pain which would signify a miscarriage but I guess sometimes you didn't need to.

If Freddie had died due to blood loss then I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. And I would never even know. And I'd get bigger due to being pregnant if I hadn't lost the baby, then Kyle would go crazy. There were so many thoughts in my head right now, I felt sick and it wasn't because I was nauseous.

I felt Kyle grab me by my hair, pulling me so my back was against his chest.

"Miss this place?" he asked in a chilling voice, right into my ear.

I shook my head and Kyle turned me around, grabbing my chin. This man, he wasn't my husband. My husband had died a year ago. I didn't know who the fuck this was. I wanted Freddie. I wanted Freddie to come and wrap me in his arms and kiss me and tell me I'm safe.

"Well you're staying for good," Kyle growled.

I stared up at him, aware of our scared I looked. "I'm tired."

He then grabbed my arm and dragged me into our old bedroom. The place was a tip and the bed was unmade. All my belongings were smashed on the floor and the place stank. I grimaced at the scene.

I looked back at Kyle and slowly turned to the bed, walking towards it and getting in it. Looking up at Kyle, I blinked back tears and got in the covers. I turned my head away from him so my back was facing him and I cried silently to myself.

"And don't think you're gonna pull any tricks. You're staying here, do you understand?" Kyle hissed.

I nodded stiffly.

"Good. I'll be in the kitchen," he responded and walked around the bed so he was in front of me. I stared at him. "Wives are usually meant to kiss their husbands."

I gawped at him. But his eyebrows went up and I slowly sat up. Hesitantly, I leant up to kiss him. I could taste the alcohol on him and I felt him smile against my lips. His hand went to the back of my head, kissing me more intensely.

If I pulled away, then I knew I'd get hurt. Kyle then pushed me back onto the mattress, crawling on top of me. I lay there, rigid as he ran his hands over my body. I tried pulling away but he grabbed my face, kissing me with raw intensity.

"Don't fucking move," Kyle growled and he kissed me again.

I tried pulling away again and I felt Kyle kiss my neck. I wriggled underneath him but he had my wrists pinned and his hips were bucked against mine so I couldn't move.

"Please...stop," I whimpered.

"Baby, I just want to love you," Kyle smirked and his hands went underneath my shirt.

"No...stop...please. Kyle, I don't want to," I said, struggling.

"I love you," Kyle said.

I struggled underneath him which angered him and he pushed me down, his face inches from mine.

"Don't. Fucking. Move," he hissed.

Kyle then went back to kissing all over my body and I felt tears flow out of my eyes. Images of Freddie came into my head. I kept thinking of us. I kept thinking of how he made me feel. I tried thinking happy thoughts but I couldn't.

Freddie could be dead. Our baby could be dead. And I was here...

I squirmed again. "Kyle stop it!" I cried as he unzipped my pants.

"You know what'll happen if you struggle," he whispered, coming up to my face and kissing me. I felt him go into his pocket and get out a sharp knife, holding it to my neck. "You're not gonna fight this, do you understand me? You're gonna let me love you like a husband loves his wife."

"You don't love me," I cried.

"Shut up," he hissed and I felt the metal scrape across my shoulder. It wasn't enough to hurt that much...I suppose I was used to real pain. This physical pain meant nothing. Real pain was leaving Freddie when he was bleeding out. That was real pain.

Kyle kissed me softly, his lips grazing across mine slowly. He seemed like he was enjoying this. I wasn't. I wanted Freddie. I wanted Freddie's lips against mine, I wanted his body on top of mine, I wanted him. Period.

But instead I got Kyle.

...

My eyes fluttered open and I could hear what seemed like a bear sleeping next to me. It sure sounded like one. I didn't have to turn around much to see the familiar jet black hair tickling my cheek. He was snoring like an asshole as he had an arm thrown over me. His hands were just beneath my bare breasts and I felt sick.

He'd...had sex with me? I wouldn't class it as sex but I wouldn't class it as rape. I went along with it, afraid of what he'd do. I didn't want him to kill me, I knew I'd get out of here someway.

I threw the sheets off me, careful not to wake him and I grabbed my robe, throwing it on me. I went into the bathroom, locking it and sinking to the floor in tears.

Freddie...was he okay? I hoped so. I couldn't bare it, if he had died. I punched the wall next to me, numb to the pain. I felt like a whore. I cried a waterfall, curled up in the corner.

...

_"That's good. That you're starting fresh. But if you need some extra work, you can come to me."_

_"I'm no good with computers, Fredgut, and you know that," I replied and Freddie smirked. "What?"_

_"Nothing...I just kinda missed your nicknames."_

_"You missed them?" I asked, laughing._

_"Yeah," Freddie chuckled._

...

I grabbed onto my hair, yanking on it as I cried.

...

_"Sam..." Freddie whispered, approaching me._

_"Don't touch me!" she cried._

_"What's going on? You need to give me some answers!" Freddie exclaimed and I turned to face me._

_"You wanna know why I felt Kyle? Why I've been so...unlike myself?!" she screamed hitting my chest. "BECAUSE HE'S A FUCKING ALCOHOLIC AND ABUSES ME! AND MAYBE I JUST WANTED TO FORGET!"_

_I then broke down, falling into Freddie's chest crying and he wrapped his arms around me._

...

Stop. Stop thinking about it.

...

_"I'm here," he said. "I'm here. I'm not going to leave and I'm never going to hurt you. I promise."_

_"Freddie don't leave me."_

_"Never," he assured me as I shook. "Never."_

...

Get him out of your head!

...

_"You want this?" he asked me softly._

_"I do. I want you. Please," I replied._

_He kissed me again._

...

STOP IT!

...

_"I'm in love with you, Sam Puckett," he breathed and I let out a gasp. "I never got over you. I've always loved you and seeing you again, having you back in my life has doubled those feelings. I didn't just sleep with you because I was horny. I didn't agree to take you in because I'd feel bad leaving you in a motel. I did it because I love you. Okay, I probably would've taken you in anyway but I mean it Sam. I know Kyle tells you he loves you but you know I'd never hurt you and I won't. I love you so much, Sam."_

_I couldn't speak. I just stared up at him. He loved me. Freddie Benson LOVES me! I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out so instead I grabbed him by the back of his head and kissed him._

_"Me too," I simply said._

_..._

_"He's gonna try and find me," I whimpered._

_"If he does, I'll protect you."_

_"I don't know what he's capable of," I whispered. "I don't want you getting hurt."_

_"Yeah well, when someone hurts someone I love, I don't even know what I could be capable of. But bottom line is, I'm going to protect you and you are safe with me, baby."_

_"Tell me you love me," I pleaded._

_"I love you so much," he breathed, kissing me._

_"Call me 'baby'."_

_"My sweet baby, I love you. I'm gonna protect you until I die, you know that."_

_"I'm so glad I have you," I commented, my arms going around his neck and pulling him to me. He rested his head on my chest as I played with his thick brown hair._

_"I'm so glad I have you too," he murmured. "I love you."_

_"I know."_

...

I'm gonna drive myself insane!

...

_"Sam...you always put me at risk," he smirked. "From when we were thirteen and you would always end up getting me involved in your stupid schemes. And even when we were sixteen and you would always get in trouble with the cops. What makes now different? Okay, it's a little more extreme, but I don't care. If I really cared about the risks, I would've let you go. I love you so much. You're my world. I'm telling you," he cupped my face. "You'll be safer than ever with me. There is no other place for you to go. You belong with me, Sam. You always have and you always will."_

_I couldn't reply as Freddie had already kissed me and my eyes widened at the raw passion of it. I don't think Freddie has ever kissed me like this before. It was desperate, yet full of so much love and passion. He was breathing air into me in a way._

_"Please...stay," he breathed._

_"Freddie..."_

_"Please...I love you so much. So, so much." I saw a tear escape Freddie's eye and I gasped softly. "Don't leave. You're safe with me." He kissed me again, this time softly. I kissed back, my arms going around his neck as I dropped my bag and for a while, it was just the two of us in the world. "You're so safe, Sam."_

_I nodded, kissing Freddie again. What was I thinking? I couldn't leave Freddie. I knew I'd be putting him in danger but it wasn't like he was going to let me go. I didn't want to leave anyway. I wanted to be with him, as scared as I was._

_"Don't scare me like that again," Freddie said to me, resting his forehead against mine, pulling the hood of my sweatshirt off so he could run his hand through my hair._

_"I'm so sorry," I apologised earnestly._

_"It's okay. You're here now," Freddie replied and his arms went around me. He rested his chin on my shoulder, nestling into the side of my head after he kissed my temple._

_"Freddie..." I said softly, looking up at him._

_"Yeah, baby," he replied, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear._

_I took a deep breath. It's time. I know it. He deserves to hear it. "I love you."_

_..._

_"Freddie," I started. "You don't need to get me anything, really. You've already done so much."_

_"I want to. You deserve it all," he urged and I couldn't help but smile. Freddie then went into his pocket and pulled out a box. He handed me and I opened it, revealing a sliver chain necklace with a heart on it. The heart was also silver, covered in...diamonds? Oh my god._

_"Freddie...you...this is beautiful," I breathed._

_"Like you," he said and I laughed softly. "Yeah, I know. Cheesy."_

_"Nah, I like it," I said, looking up at him. "How much was this?"_

_"Doesn't matter. You're worth everything," Freddie told me and I felt heat rise to my cheeks in a blush. "Want me to put it on you?"_

_I nodded and turned around, handing Freddie back the necklace and holding my hair. I felt him put the chain on me as he kissed my neck. I let my hair down again, turning back to him and lacing my arms around him._

_"I love you," I said to him and he smiled, saying it back to me before capturing my mouth in a kiss. My hand went to his cheek and he held me close as we felt the wind blanket us as we remained kissing._

_..._

_"Don't leave me," I whispered._

_"Never," Freddie replied firmly. "You're mine. I'm not letting you go this time, Puckett."_

_"Promise me?"_

_"I promise. I love you so much, I won't leave you."_

_"I love you too, more than anything, Freddie!" I cried out, clutching onto him. "I love you so, so much!"_

_"Shh," Freddie soothed, stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head._

_I looked up at Freddie and smiled slightly. "I feel safe with you," I said honestly._

_"That's all I want," he responded kissing me softly._

_..._

_Freddie kissed my stomach, all over. I know why he's kissing it. Not because of the scar, not because he wants me, but because of our growing baby. That little mini us. The source of a fresh start for me. Our little bundle of love._

_I smile down at him and his eyes flicked up to meet mine. His brown orbs burnt through me and I sat up, capturing his lips with mine and I pulled him back down on top of me, our lips moving in slow synchronisation._

_All throughout my life, he never hurt me. When we were younger we pissed each other off in a childish manner but Freddie never hurt me truly. I had to blame our first breakup on both of us. We hurt each other. And right now, this man would never hurt me._

_He whispered in my ear sweet nothings, making my stomach flip flop and he told me he loved me. I said I loved him too and he kissed down my body until he reached my stomach. He kissed it all over again._

_And before he kissed my lips again, he whispered to my stomach, to our baby, that he loved it too._

_..._

_"Don't go."_

_"I have to," I said, a sad smile on my face and I bent down to kiss his forehead, and then his cheeks and his nose, until I was kissing all over his face. "I have to," I repeated and I kissed his lips softly. This was probably the last time I'd ever kiss him._

_"He'll hurt you," Freddie said, his voice thick and raspy._

_"I can take it."_

_"No you can't," Freddie argued._

_"I can."_

_"But..the..." I knew what Freddie was getting at. Our baby._

_"I don't know," I responded, crying. "I really don't know."_

_"Two minutes is up. Now let's go," Kyle ordered and more tears fell down my face. I looked back at Freddie and kissed him once last time._

_"I love you," I reminded him._

_"Love you more," he replied, struggling out a small smile._

...

STOP! I can't take it anymore! And I let out a choked sob, falling in a heap and I cried on the bathroom floor.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

I groaned as I opened my eyes. Ugh, I was in a hospital. I then remembered why. Kyle had found us and shot me, then he took Sam...and our baby.

Was she okay? I was so afraid if he'd done something to her. I needed to get out of here to find Sam.

"Freddie!" Clare cried. "You're awake?"

"I need to get out of here," I said.

"What?! Why?" Clare asked.

"I need to find Sam. Her husband took her," I explained and Clare shook her head.

"You need to stay here. You got a pretty ugly wound. Let me go get the nurses," Clare argued and before I could protest, she'd already stood up and left.

I didn't care if I was in pain from the shooting, I had to get to Sam before Kyle hurt her. Or hurt her even more.


	23. Hell Above

**Should I write stuff on FictionPress or Wattpad like with original characters? Tell me whatcha think and if you'd read.**

**~New York~**

**Sam's POV**

"You gonna stop being a bitch and LISTEN?!" Kyle growled as he shoved me into the counter.

"Yes," I sobbed. The pain was unbearable. I couldn't take it. I wanted the neighbours to hear and help me. After getting back to New York yesterday and after I had my mental breakdown in the bathroom, I fell asleep there. Kyle found me and thought I slept there to get away from him.

"I don't think I'm entirely convinced," he chuckled bitterly and pushed me onto the table, his fist pounding into my stomach.

"Stop," I moaned, gripping onto something, tears in my eyes.

"What do you say?" Kyle asked, grabbing my chin.

"I don't wanna say it," I struggled underneath him and he straddled me, picking my head up and slamming it back down on the table. I blinked, feeling dizzy.

"SAY IT!" Kyle roared.

"I love you!" I cried, bawling my eyes out and crying harder than I've ever cried in my life. "Please...stop!"

"Say it like you mean it!" Kyle urged and I swore I could taste blood in my mouth.

"I did!" I retorted.

"SAY IT AGAIN!" he bellowed.

"I love you, Kyle! I'll never disobey you again!" I screamed, partly due to the pain. "It hurts, stop!"

"YOU'LL FUCKING LISTEN TO ME FROM NOW ON! YOU'RE NEVER LEAVING AGAIN! YOU'LL NEVER SEE FREDDIE BENSON AGAIN AND YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID!" he shrieked, inches away from from my face at the top of my lungs.

"Kyle..." I choked back. "Stop..." I felt like my insides had been ripped out of my body, stomped on, set on fire and thrown back in my body. He'd spent the last half hour beating me around like I was a fucking rag doll.

"What'd I say? I'll stop when I fucking WANT TO!"

"Please..." I whispered in a voice so frail, I couldn't recognise it myself. "...stop."

Kyle shook his head in amusement. "I always thought you were strong, Sammy. You're not. You're weak," he spat. "A failure! You're WORTHLESS and you are NOTHING. I don't know what I even saw in you. You're a whore. You run away from me and jump into Freddie Benson's bed. It's disgusting."

I stared up at my husband in disbelief. He spent years convincing me I wasn't any of those. And now...he was saying all this. I didn't try and stop the tears falling down my face.

"You wanted my baby," I reminded him quietly. "You said we'd be together forever. Remember?" my voice was weak and barely audible. "You...you loved me. We were happy. You...said our wedding day was the happiest day of your life. Where...where did you go?"

Kyle didn't reply.

"You're not my husband," I continued. "I don't know who you are. I wanted my husband back so bad. You hurt me. I wanted to die. The one person I loved most on this entire fucked up planet, you...KILLED that person." I shook my head, crying. "I don't want to hurt anymore. Please...let me go and leave me be."

"You think you can guilt trip me?" Kyle asked in a scary voice, his face touching mine. "You think if you remind me of our past...I'll come back? That Kyle you loved? Sweetheart, you're delusional."

"Don't call me sweetheart," I hissed.

"Why? Did precious Freddie Benson call you that?" Kyle taunted and I just stared at him. "He's a pussy. He couldn't even protect you. You know he's gonna end up in a wooden box in the ground and it's your fault. He's weak, stupid, nerdy. He can't keep you safe. He's pathetic."

"Don't talk about him like that!" I defended.

"Why? What's stopping me? Tell me, was he as good as me?"

"You're sick," I spat.

"And you are a cunt," Kyle whispered and I lay my head back.

"Get off me," I said softly. Kyle didn't move. "GET OFF!" I screamed and tried to kick him.

Kyle growled and grabbed my shoulders, slamming me into the table again. He them got off me and I let out a deep breath but he dragged me off the table and grabbed my hair, turning me around and smashing my head onto the breakfast bar. He slammed it again and again and again.

"Next time, you don't order me around," he said in a chilling voice into my ear, still holding my hair. I could taste blood drip from my nose and upper lip.

"Please..." I cried out desperately. "Stop."

"What did I just say?" he hissed, slamming my face into the counter again.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

"Get me out of here Clare," I said to Clare who sat beside me, twiddling her thumbs.

Luckily the bullet was only a graze so my arm was in a sling. I was already itching to get out of here and the police had been asking me a tonne of questions.

I told them.

I said Sam came to me after running from her abusive alcoholic husband and he came back, shot me and ran off with her. Sam didn't want the police involved but this was serious. She was in danger, and so was our baby.

True, the police were on my side now, but I needed to find Sam too. Damn hospital won't let me out until another week though and no way in hell was I letting Sam survive that for a whole week.

"Freddie, you need to wait until the end of the week," Clare reminded me.

"Like hell I am," I growled. "You gotta help me get out of here. My arm doesn't even hurt that bad. Please...Sam's in danger."

"Let the police handle it."

"You think I can just let Sam live through that? You haven't seen what he's done to her! He's capable of killing her! And she's carrying my baby!"

"She's what?!" Clare exclaimed. "You got her pregnant?! Freddie are you insane?!"

"It's not like we planned it! It's just not one hundred percent effective. But aside from that, she's in danger. The man's a psychopath."

"I understand that Freddie but you need to heal."

"No!" I cried. "I need to find Sam! Now you gotta get me out of here!"

"How do you expect me to do that?!"

"I don't know just do it!" I yelled.

"You're crazy, Freddie!" Clare said, standing up and grabbing her jacket.

"Oh wow, okay. Just leave why don't you? Sam could be dying! I can't just lay here!"

"You know, maybe you shouldn't have gotten involved with Sam Puckett in the first place. She's nothing but trouble."

I glared at Clare. "Fuck off."

"Freddie..."

"No. You don't know the HELL she went through as a kid, you don't know about her upbringing, you don't know what her husband did to her for a year! You don't know the SHIT she lived through. You don't know her!" I hollered. "Get out."

"Freddie," Clare started.

"Leave!" I yelled and Clare sighed, leaving the hospital room.

I didn't care if I wasn't getting help from her or anyone. I was getting out of here and I was going to find Sam.

**~New York~**

**Sam's POV**

Ow.

I felt my stomach flip flop in pain as Kyle kicked me there again. And again. And again.

"Oh my god!" I cried in pain until I let out a scream.

Kyle stared at me as I carried on crying my eyes out. I felt like my soul had been ripped out of my body then. I looked down, knowing that Kyle was looking there too. I was bleeding. And it wasn't from the injuries of Kyle.

"Get me to a hospital now!" I screamed desperately.

"Why?" Kyle asked.

"I'm bleeding!"

"So?"

"I'm pregnant!" I blurted out.

"What?!" Kyle growled.

"I don't fucking care what you think?! You might think fucking I'm a whore but shut the fuck up you fucking bastard and get me to a fucking hospital! I'm losing the baby!"

"That's not my problem," he whispered, kneeling down beside me.

I let out an agonising scream, begging for someone to hear.

"You deserve to lose the kid!" Kyle shrieked, grabbing my shirt and yanking me up but I couldn't stand. I ended up leaning into him but he grabbed me and pushed me onto the couch. "How DARE you carry his child!"

"It's hurts so bad, please. Take me to a hospital!" I moaned.

"No," Kyle hissed and climbed on top of me.

"AHHH!" I screamed, crying.

"You think you can just get pregnant with him and have a happy little family?!" Kyle spat and he grabbed my neck. "I gave you EVERYTHING! I MARRIED YOU! You selfish fucking BITCH! YOU DESERVE TO FEEL EVERY BIT OF PAIN YOU CAN GET! That baby's lucky. You would've been a terrible mom. You're just like your own mother. A SCREW UP."

"Stop..." I whispered.

"And you deserve to die with that baby too."

I blinked back tears.

"But I won't make it quick. I'm going to take my time with you."


	24. Stay Away From My Friends

**Wow okay, second to last chapter...**

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

I opened one eye and looked around the hospital room. The place was pretty empty. I looked out of the window where I could see the halls and aside from the odd nurse walking down every now and then the halls were scarce. I sighed in relief. My arm wasn't hurting. In fact, I didn't even know why I was still in this rat hole. I feel fine. I was just sat on the bed with a sling on. That was it. I wanted to get out of here.

Slowly and carefully, I got out of the hospital bed and grabbed some of my stuff. I knew patients weren't meant to leave but I couldn't let Sam get hurt by her bastard husband. I could only feel a stinging sensation in my arm from where the asshole's bullet ripped through it but I had a sick feeling that Sam was getting worse. Still keeping lookout, I got changed into some normal clothes and not these stupid hospital gowns. I packed up my things and swung it over my good shoulder. I then crept out of the room and ran down the ward. I couldn't have anyone see me. I'd get done if I was found out but if I was found out and they thought I wasn't a patient, I'd still get done since visiting hours were over.

The hospital was daunting. Its deadly silence was chilling and weirdly, so loud. I could hear my thoughts like this and they were scary. I kept thinking of Sam and our unborn baby. How much terror must they have been through or must be going through? The thought of it made me sick. How could a man do this? How could any person do this to someone, let alone their wife?

I tried pushing those thoughts out of my head and focused on getting Sam back. I didn't know whereabouts in New York she lived but I sure as hell do know how to track someone. I hailed a cab and went back to my apartment.

There was police tape surrounding it. Dammit. I then thought better of it and went down to the nearest internet cafe. With a click here and there, I brought up the Pear tracker webpage. After buying Sam a phone and hearing about what happened to her, I put a tracker device in her phone. It wasn't like Find My PearPhone where you needed the passcode of the device since I only needed my own passcode for the tracker.

I waited until it loaded and smiled in satisfaction. I was one step closer to finding her. I scribbled down the address, shoving it into my pocket and logging out of the computer.

After going down to the bank to get some cash out of my card, I caught a cab to the airport to buy a last minute plane ticket to New York.

I'm coming, Sam. And Kyle Foster won't stop me this time.

**~New York~**

**Sam's POV**

I looked down at the dried blood which had stained the couch. I grimaced. It was disgusting. Kyle was pressed up against me on the couch and I was squashed beneath him. I strained to stand up. I held my stomach. It didn't take a genius to figure out that I had lost the baby.

Taking a shaky breath, I stumbled into the kitchen and reached up to grab a cup from the cabinet but the pain in my stomach was so unbearable, I couldn't. I gripped onto the counter, regaining my breath and leaned against it. My head killed and my entire body ached.

I looked over at Kyle and my blood boiled. He'd killed my baby. And he has every intention of killing me. I tripped up on the broken furniture on the floor and walked into the bedroom. I spotted my phone blinking and I went over to it, going as fast as I could. I picked up the phone and almost dropped it when I saw the caller ID.

Freddie.

I put it to my ear.

"Freddie!" I cried.

_"Sam!"_ I wanted to burst into tears. He sounded okay. He wasn't dead. That beautiful voice was still working. Oh god.

"I'm so sorry!"

_"No, no don't you dare,"_ Freddie told me.

"Are you okay? Freddie...I wanna get out of here."

_"I'm coming. I got out of the hospital and I'm-"_

"Who are you talking to?"

I turned around to see Kyle stood there, looking at me with his scary expression.

_"Sam?"_ Freddie called from down the line.

"Give me the phone," Kyle growled.

"Freddie," I whispered.

"Give. Me. The. PHONE!" He stormed over to me, trying to yank the phone out of my hands but I moved so he couldn't grab it.

"Freddie, help me!" I screamed down the line.

_"Baby, I'm coming, I swear. I'm on a plane, I'm coming!"_

"Hurry!" I sobbed as Kyle threw the phone out of my hands, sending it to the floor smashing into a million pieces.

I looked up at him, shaking. I shook my head. "Please don't hurt me," I said in a barely audible voice.

Kyle grabbed me by the hair, slamming me into the wall.

"This is the fucking LAST STRAW!" he roared right into my face as tears fell down my face. "You wanted Freddie to come and save you, didn't you princess?"

I didn't reply.

"FUCKING ANSWER ME!"

I nodded meekly.

Kyle slapped me round the face and kicked the back of my legs, sending me toppling to the floor. I hollered out in pain and grabbed onto the sheets of the bed, trying to get up but Kyle grabbed me by the neck and pushed me into the window.

"You know I could fucking push you out of here right now," Kyle growled.

"Please," I begged desperately. "Stop, I can't take it anymore."

"Too bad," Kyle hissed and he dragged me into the bedroom, throwing me into the closet and going into his jacket pocket which was on the bed and pulling out his handgun. I gulped, failing miserably to show no sign of fear.

My breathing got slower and my heart started beating faster. I stared at the gun.

"Know what this is?" Kyle taunted, holding up the gun.

"Please...don't," I pleaded.

Kyle grabbed me and pushed me onto the floor, straddling me.

"I've given you many chances but you blew it!" he yelled and I knew that right there and then I was going to die. Freddie would come and find me dead and Kyle would kill him. I could feel it.

"You don't have the guts," I challenged, trying to talk him out of it.

"You and I both know that's a lie," Kyle grinned, flashing his white teeth.

"I'm your wife," I reminded him.

"My wife who's sleeping with someone else. My wife who left me. My wife who got pregnant with her ex's baby!"

"And you're my hustand who abused me for a year!" I shrieked.

Kyle slapped me again.

"You're going to die."

"No," I cried, shaking my head.

Kyle loaded the gun and I tried to grab it. He growled and I flipped us over, taking the gun off him. Kyle kicked me again and pushed me onto my back. I took the gun and threw it to the other side of the room as best I could.

Kyle looked over at it before looking back at me. His hands went to my neck.

"SELFISH BRAT!" he roared. "I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! AND YOU LEFT ME!"

I could feel my heart beat slowing down as Kyle tightened his grip on my neck. I gripped onto the floor, trying to grab anything I could to defend myself. I couldn't.

He was killing me.

I croaked out and I looked into Kyle's eyes. When I first met him, his eyes were easy to get lost in. Almost like Freddie's. But now they looked dead. This wasn't my husband. My husband was murdered by this man last year. And now he was going to murder me.

"Kyle," I choked out. "Stop..."

Our gazes met and he saw my struggling face. I felt his grip loosen. I blinked back tears and he completely let go, getting off me.

I still lay there, staring up at him as he looked at me.

"Sam..." he trailed off. Before I could reply, he crawled back on top of me, studying my face. He trailed his fingertips across my cheek and lips. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe.

I felt my head get dizzied and my vision got worse.

"Sam?!" he cried, shaking my shoulders.

"Stop..." I whispered, my eyes feeling droopy.

That phrase when you see your life flash before your eyes, it wasn't fake. I closed my eyes, a faint smile appearing on my face.

I thought of Freddie. I thought of how amazing he was and his he made me feel. I thought about how much I loved him.

"No don't close your eyes!" Kyle cried, slapping my cheeks lightly.

"Why...you hurt me?" I asked, finding it painful to speak.

"I'm sorry." He sounded pained.

"You...lie."

"No!" Kyle screamed, shaking my shoulders when my eyes closed.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

I felt my heart beat.

Thump, thump, thump.

I felt it slowing down.

"WAKE UP, SAM! I'm so sorry! Please wake up!"

Thump...thump...thump...

**~New York~**

**Freddie's POV**

I could hear banging, shouting and screaming from the apartment. This was it. I gathered up all the adrenaline and anger I held inside of me and kicked the door down.

The bedroom door was open and I rushed in to find Sam and Kyle. Kyle was straddling Sam, shaking her shoulders, crying and Sam was...no.

He killed her.

Kyle looked up at me in fright and I felt my blood boil. I walked over to him and grabbed his shirt, yanking him up and punching him in the face with my strong hand.

"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!" I roared. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

"Freddie, help me help her!"

"You don't give a shit about her!" I reminded the ass.

"I do...I forgot. I forgot...she's my wife...I hurt her. Bad."

"You FUCKING DID!" I yelled. But thought better of it.

I pulled away from Kyle to kneel next to Sam, shaking her, tears forming in my eyes.

"Sam, wake up," I sobbed. "Wake up. You're so strong, please baby, wake up."

"She loves you," Kyle stated, staring at Sam.

I ignored him focusing on my Sam.

"Wake up, sweetheart. Pleas wake up."

"Your...baby died," Kyle said and I squeezed my eyes shut.

"HOW COULD YOU DO IT?!" I cried. "HOW COULD YOU HURT HER LIKE THIS! HOW COULD YOU KILL OUR BABY! You deserve EVERYTHING that's coming for you."

He didn't respond. I bent down to press my mouth to Sam's, breathing air into her and pumping her chest up and down to help her.

"Breathe, Sam," I said, breathing into her again. "Breathe."

"Is she dead?" Kyle asked and I could hear that he was crying.

"I don't know," I responded. Kyle came to kneel down next to me and I growled at him. "Get away from her," I hissed.

"Freddie...what...she..."

I went back to trying to give Sam CPR. I didn't know much than what learnt from First Aid in high school. I guess you opened their mouth and breathed into it.

"She's not breathing," I stated bluntly. I stared at my lifeless Sam. I wouldn't stop breathing air into her though. I kept pumping her chest up and down to try and make her breathe. I wasn't accepting that she was gone.

"Sam," Kyle said. "Wake up."

"You don't care," I said coldly, then focusing back on my Sam. "Baby, wake up. You can't leave me. Please...come on. You can do it. Breathe. Please."

I choked back sobs but wouldn't give up.

"Call the ambulance," I ordered Kyle who hesitated. "NOW! You wanna help her, then call the hospital!"

Sam still remained still, and I tried to stay strong but it was so hard.

"My sweet baby," I whispered, kissing Sam's forehead. She was gone. "I love you."

I took Sam's hands and kissed them.

She was dead.

"I wish you could breathe. I...I'm sorry get here faster."

Kyle was over in the corner of the room talking down the phone.

"You're so beautiful. You're amazing and...I...oh god, Sam!" I cried, breaking down and breathing air into her mouth again. "Don't ever stop fighting, baby."

She wouldn't move.

"Breathe," I whispered, tears falling from my eyes.

Still no movement.

"Breathe."

And then, all of a sudden. A splutter. A cough. A faint one. But a real one.

"Sam?" I whispered and she coughed.

Loudly.

"Sam!" I cried, scooping her up and wrapping her in my arms. "Oh god, baby. You did it. I love you so much. I knew it."

"Freddie..." she whispered.

"I'm here," I assured her.

"He hurt me," Sam croaked out and I shot a dirty look over at Kyle.

"I know."

Kyle then rushed over to us.

"Sam!" he cried. "You...you're awake."

"Don't touch her. Get away from her," I growled, shuffling away from him and holding Sam close to me. She clung to me, burying her face in my chest. I stroked her hair again and held her close, never wanting to let her go again.

"She's my wife," Kyle argued.

"She hates you," I responded. "And I do too. Leave."

"No," Kyle growled and Sam gripped onto me harder.

"Freddie, don't let him hurt me," Sam said softly.

"Never," I responded.

"NYPD!"

I looked up to see a group of policemen and paramedics walk in. I also recognised two police officers from San Francisco. And then in the back, I spotted Clare.

"She's breathing?" one asked, referring to Sam.

"Yeah. I managed to...get her breathing again," I replied as the paramedics got Sam onto a gurney.

"That was very skilled of you. You should be proud. But we need to get her to a hospital, check her out etc."

"You also need to get back to the hospital," one of the cops from San Fran spoke up. "You've not completely healed."

"Okay," I nodded. "I just had to get out there to help Sam. I could tell she was in danger."

"I do suppose if you didn't get to her like you did, she'd be dead."

I nodded stiffly. She DID die.

"Kyle Foster, I am arresting you on suspicion of spousal abuse and two attempted murders," the New York cop said, handcuffing Kyle.

Whilst being cuffed, I noticed Kyle flash me a dirty look.

"I never did anything!" Kyle hollered.

"Anything you say may harm your defence in court," the cop continued.

"I did nothing!" Kyle yelled as he was escorted out of the apartment.

I took a hold of Sam's hand who looked up at me, her eyes dead and grey.

"Freddie..." she whimpered.

"I'm here, baby," I told her softly. "I'm here."


	25. Bulletproof Love

**Eeeh! Last chapter! Thank you so much for the support I've gotten for this story! Truly amazing and mind blowing. Writing this has been a pleasure and I hoped you all enjoyed it. Thank you all so much for the reviews, reads and support. It feels like last week I was putting up the first chapter. Amazing. Thank you thank you thank you! ****More to come... But for now enjoy the last chapter of Vulnerability.**

**One year later.**

**~San Francisco~**

**Sam's POV**

I guess you could say life was good. Great actually. I haven't been happier. A year ago, I was getting the slop beaten out of me by my husband and now he's rotting in a jail cell.

To sum it up, I ended up in the hospital with Freddie, and Kyle was put in a holding cell. Then came the dreaded court hearing where I gave my side of the story, Freddie too, Kyle's old friend Alex spoke up and so did Kyle's boss. It didn't take a genius to find out what happened next. Kyle got eighteen years prison sentence yet still had the nerve to plead not guilty.

We managed to get divorced which wasn't an easy process since Kyle was in prison and refused to divorce me but with a bit of push and shove, I finally was rid of him.

Kyle going behind bars felt like I had found a million dollars. It was like what had happened over the last year was being locked up too. That was my old life.

Kyle was my old life.

Freddie is my new life.

We're still together and happy and in love. It took a few months for us both to get past everything but now we're on a steady road.

I had managed to upgrade from working in a small café to working in a restaurant and now the opening my new restaurant is under way. Yes it's as good as it sounds. When it all started happening, I was so excited! It was amazing. Everything was falling into place.

I had a great boyfriend, great job, great life.

Freddie still had his top notch Pear job which kept the income at the best. I still lived with Freddie but we moved into another apartment. His old one reminded us both too much of when Kyle had busted in a year ago.

We put it behind us though and I was glad. I had scars, but Freddie kissed them and fixed me completely. I was a wreck after getting dragged back to New York. Every single noise I heard, I thought was Kyle coming to get me. I was a nightmare but Freddie stuck around and helped me and fixed me. Without him, I'd be crazy.

I put my key through the key hole, juggling my phone in between my ear and shoulder as I was on the phone to the suppliers for the grand opening of my restaurant tomorrow.

I got in, throwing my bag and jacket on the couch and landing on the armchair, talking down the line.

I heard the bedroom door open from upstairs and I heard Freddie walk down the steps.

"Hey," he greeted me with a kiss to the top of my head.

"Hey," I responded.

I must have been on the phone for another ten minutes before I hung up and walked over to Freddie who was in the kitchen.

"How was work?" I asked him, my arms going around his waist.

"Good. You all ready for tomorrow?"

"Mmhmm," I grinned. "Can't wait."

"I'm so proud of you." Freddie kissed me and my arms went around his neck. He gripped my waist and sat me on the counter. His hands rested on either side of my hips, his body occupying the space in between my legs.

I caressed his cheek as I pulled away from him and he kissed my forehead.

"I want you to rest for the rest of the evening all prepped up for your big day," Freddie told me and I smiled, resting my forehead against his.

"I'm not tired," I replied.

"Doesn't matter. Go lay down," he ordered, pulling away from me.

"Freddie..." I trailed off.

"Lay down," he said again and before I could protest, Freddie picked me up bridal style and carried me back to the bedroom, laying me down on the bed.

I smiled up at Freddie who kissed my forehead and pulled off my jeans and shirt. He tossed me his pyjama shirt which I slept in and he slipped it on me.

"Now rest," Freddie said.

"Yes boss man," I smirked.

He then left the bedroom and I rolled over in the big soft bed, burying my face in Freddie's pillow which smelt of him. I grinned. Everything was so perfect.

I must have been exhausted as I felt myself soon begin to drift off. I woke again a while later to feel the bed shift and a weight on it. Freddie threw his arm over me, pulling me close to his chest.

"You're on my side," Freddie said into my ear in a husky voice.

"Smells of you," I responded.

"Get some sleep," Freddie chuckled, kissing my neck. "I'll wake you in the morning ready for the big day."

I felt my heart flutter. Freddie was so supportive and was there throughout the whole thing.

"Okay. Night, I love you," I yawned.

"Love you too," Freddie said and I fell asleep soon after.

The next day, Freddie woke me up with an amazing bed in breakfast. We couldn't lounge around as much as I'd like to since I had to get to the opening of the restaurant early. Freddie took the day off work to come to the opening due to his amazing support.

The crowd was fairly big and there was a giant red ribbon in front of the door with a giant pair of sheers. I could spot Tina in the crowd and there were publicists taking pictures. Apparently it was the biggest talked about restaurant in San Fran at the moment.

I wish Kyle could see this. I wish he could see how happy I am and how happy Freddie makes me and I wish he could see my success and how I'm doing so much better without him.

"Five!" the crowd cheered.

I did it. I got through it. I got over it. And I'm not living in fear.

"Four!"

I'm not scared. I don't jump at every little sound. I'm okay.

"Three!"

He's not in my head. He hasn't taken over. He's gone.

"Two!"

I looked over to Freddie who winked at me. He's the reason. The reason I'm here today.

"One!"

I cut the ribbon which fell to the floor and the crowd cheered as the press snapped some photos.

This was it. This was my own restaurant.

A real fresh start.

**~San Francisco~**

**Freddie's POV**

"Sam!"

"Over here, Sam!"

"Sam!"

I could hear Sam's name being called in different directions at the post restaurant opening party which had gone off like a shot. I was so proud of her. Kyle was the past and over the last year, Sam had fought so hard to gain her life back and she'd done so amazing.

I looked over at her as I sipped my drink and I smiled. She was talking to some interviewers and her face was glowing.

"You nervous?" Clare asked as she approached me.

"Yup," I responded, downing my drink.

"Easy there, you don't wanna be drunk when you ask her," Clare warned.

"So you think she'll say yes?" I asked.

"Of course she will. Look at her. She's happy as anything and loves the hell out of you. Now go get her, tiger," she assured

"Now?"

"Yes now!"

I gulped and walked over to Sam who had just finished talking to some people.

"Freddie!" she exclaimed, rushing over to me and jumping into my arms.

"Hey, baby," I grinned kissing her.

"Oh my god, it's so crazy here!"

"I know! I'm so proud, you know that?"

"I know. I love you," Sam said and I brought her in for a warm hug. "I couldn't have done this without you. Any of this. Thank you."

"No problem. I love you," I replied.

Sam pulled away from me and gave me a dazzling smile which nearly brought me to my knees. Her eyes were sparkling and her face lit up. I just hoped I could make her day better.

"Come up here," I said to her and led her up to the stage area, tapping my champagne glass to get everyone's attention. "Everyone! Can I have your attention please!"

The room went silent. Here goes.

"Okay, well I just want to start with how proud I am of Sam. I've known her since we were twelve and I always knew she'd end up in a restaurant. She came to San Francisco with absolutely nowhere to go and no plan. And now she's here and I'm so proud."

I then turned to Sam and took her hands.

"I love you," I started, feeling sweaty pretty much everywhere. "And I say it everyday because I do. I want to make you happy and I want you to feel happy and safe with me. I know we've had bumps in our relationship and it's been pretty much everywhere but I know right here, right now, I'm certain of one thing: I love you. Till the day I die, I love you. Nothing can stop that."

The crowd beamed at us and as did Sam at me. I then got down on one knee and the crowd gasped. Sam let go of my hand to cover her mouth and I got out a little black velvet box, opening it to reveal a white gold engagement ring.

"Samantha Joy Puckett, there's no one like you out there. You drive me crazy everyday and you make me question my sanity. You're weird and wonderful and amazing. I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I could go on for ages but instead I'll just say: will you marry me?"

Everyone went quiet and Sam dropped her hand to her side, looking down at me.

"Yes," she whispered. "Yes, you nub I'll marry you!"

I beamed and slid the ring onto her finger, standing up and I wrapped her up in my arms when I kissed her with as much passion as I could muster.

The crowd cheered as Sam and I kissed.

"I love you so much!" Sam gasped against my lips, kissing me again.

"I love you too," I responded. "So, so much."

We kissed again and for a moment, we were alone. It was just the two of us and no one else was here. We didn't stop kissing. We carried on and I wasn't ready to pull away.

Yeah, they said I had the good life alright.

**The end!**

**AU: Some of you are wondering what my next stories will be and I've been thinking about that. I'm going to continue writing You're Not Gone until I finish that obviously and I might do a sequel to this. I do have some ideas, so if you'd read the sequel, lemme know. Also I've been thinking about writing with original characters on FictionPress or on Wattpad. If you'd read that also let me know. I don't have any other ideas for icarly fanfiction but I do want to expand from the fanbase as much as I love it. **

**Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoyed it. :D thank you! Keep reading You're Not Gone and look out for a possible sequel perhaps ;)**


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